Secrets & Wishes
by CaraNo
Summary: Everyone has secrets, and everyone has wishes. We hope that the latter come true, and secrets...well, we tend to hope they're never unearthed. When Bella's son discovers a time capsule in the woods, her graduating class is going to need a lot more than hope. Same applies to her high school teacher, Edward Cullen.
1. Prologue

_Hello :)  
_

 _Posting weekly, except for today. After this prologue, I'll upload the first chapter right away._

 _Beta'd by HollettLA!_

 _IMPORTANT NOTE: My one-shot **Baby, it's cold outside** takes place after this prologue, which means you might wanna (re)read it before I post the next chapter. The one-shot can be found on my FF profile._

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

 _Random secrets_

 _I'm pregnant ~Anonymous_

 _My sister cuts herself, and I don't know what to do ~Anonymous_

 _I gave my virginity to my boyfriend's best_ _friend_ _~Anonymous_

 _I'm gay ~Anonymous_

 _She's turned me into a stalker ~Anonymous_

 _Everyone thinks I'm thrilled to become a_ _lawyer,_ _when all I want is to play music ~Anonymous_

 _My father beats me ~Anonymous_

 _I don't even like the one I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with ~Anonymous_

 _I cheated my way through high school ~Anonymous_

* * *

 _ **Then**_

 **Bella**

"We're so proud of you!" Mom crushes me in a hug, Dad following, wrapping his arms around both of us. "Look at our girl, Charlie." She releases me, only to cup my cheeks. "Graduating high school at fifteen."

 _Sixteen in a few months, thank you very much._

I beam back, thinking about my move to the East Coast. Of course, my parents are moving with me—thank God—because I'll need their help. They're still shaken by my news, and it's going to take time for them to get used to it, but they've made sure I know I have their support.

"I couldn't have done it without you." It's nothing but the truth. I may be only fifteen, but I'm smart enough to realize I'm lucky. My 'rents are the bomb.

 _Like, I'm not even kidding._

James has helped a lot too.

"I think Edward and Kate are trying to get your attention, honey." Dad nods at something behind me.

Turning, I see my dad's little sister and her husband—he's also my English teacher, and she's my swim coach—signaling to every graduate in the gym. Which means they have been assigned to take care of the senior tradition here at Forks High.

It's a small school, so this year's seniors only fill two classrooms, and now it's time for us to carry on the Secret & Wishes tradition. My father took part when he went here, as did my aunt Kate, and my mother two years later. Now it's me.

"I'll meet you at the restaurant later?" I ask my parents.

"No." Mom fusses over me, straightening my hideous gown, then snaps off another photo of me. "We'll wait outside, baby. Gosh, you look so beautiful." She leans in and lowers her voice. "You're glowing."

I blush, mortified. _"Mom!"_

"Too soon to joke about it?"

"You think?" I roll my eyes and start walking toward the other side of the crowded gym. "See you guys later!" I call over my shoulder.

Okay, I love my parents, but they can be _so_ embarrassing.

~oOo~

Twenty minutes later, the seniors have been divided into two classrooms, and I sit down next to Alice, my BFF.

"We're finally done, Bella!" She's so friggin' excited. "You have to promise we'll be best friends forever."

"I _promise_ ," I vow, and we hug. Unlike Alice, who is off to California next fall, I'm leaving in two days. Our house is already packed up. But…just because we're already moving doesn't mean I'm starting college next semester. There will be no studying for me until the year after. My classmates think I'm going to Brown since that had been my original plan. Well, it still is, but it's been postponed. "We'll write and call each other at least five times a week."

She nods. "At _least_."

"All right—listen up, everyone!" Mr. Cullen lets out a sharp whistle, looking superhot in his dark suit. Usually, he's in slacks and fitted pullovers, but this is a special occasion.

 _There's a reason I don't call him Uncle Edward. It would be too wrong with the fantasies I have._

My aunt—my swim coach—always roams the halls in yoga pants and long-sleeved t-shirts, so it was kind of a shock earlier to see her in a pretty dress.

She was even smiling, which is super rare. Dad says it's because she's happy we're leaving.

Yeah, our family is…different. There's a war going on between Aunt Kate and Dad, and they say I'm "too young" to know why.

Mr. Cullen doesn't smile often either, and it's _such_ a shame. He's a total hottie, even though he's old—like thirty-three years old.

I flush scarlet at the thoughts and dreams I've had about him.

"Lusting over your uncle again?" Alice sings.

I slap her arm. "Shut up, bitch. Like you're any better." She's always making eyes at Jasper Whitlock. He's sitting two rows behind us with his football buddies.

Alice has sworn she's gonna give him her virginity before the summer is over.

She said the same thing before prom, but then he took Tanya Denali's virginity there instead.

After another sharp whistle from Mr. Cullen, he has everyone's attention, and he congratulates us on our graduation before giving us a scripted explanation about the tradition.

"In front of you, you'll each find two slips of papers," he says, leaning back against his desk. "On one, you'll write your secret, and on the other, your wish."

I don't know who started the tradition—only that it was started by students, not teachers—but as the years passed, the teachers got in on it, helping and organizing it. Not that there's much to organize, though I recall Dad telling me that it had gotten out of hand one year; the students started arguing 'cause they couldn't decide who'd get to bury the metal box with all our secrets and wishes. So, yeah…the teachers swooped in.

The walls in school aren't very thick, so we can all hear Aunt Kate in the next classroom giving a similar speech about the tradition. _"No peeking." "Don't write your names on the papers." "No, that's correct—the containers will never be found again. Your secrets are safe."_

We think it's the janitor who buries the boxes somewhere; the only rule is that it has to be on school grounds. But other than that…nothing.

It goes without saying that many students have tried to find the boxes over the years, but without luck. That's why some believe the janitor—or whoever—isn't burying them at all, but destroying them instead.

"When you're done, you can come here and give me your notes." Mr. Cullen holds up a shiny new metal box.

Biting my lip, I bring my pen to the first slip and write my secret.

Aside from my parents and James and his family, no one knows.

 _Secret: I'm pregnant._

There. It's off my chest. If only on a piece of paper no one will read.

I quickly fold the paper and hold it close, my breaths coming out a little faster. Then I proceed to write down my wish on the other slip.

 _Wish: That I become a veterinarian like my_ _mom,_ _and that I'll be a good mom myself._

With that done, I stand up and look around me nervously. Everyone else is still writing, and I wonder if they're confessing to something huge like me—the pregnancy. _Probably not_. I walk down the aisle toward Mr. Cullen and catch Emmett gritting his teeth at something, whatever he's writing. Rose looks like someone's kicked her puppy. Royce looks nervous. Angela is blushing, so maybe she's revealing what we already know: that she's in love with Ben.

Heck, I bet most of the girls are admitting they have crushes on Jasper, Ben, Emmett, or Mike. They're all jocks. Jasper and Mike are like football legends, and Emmett and Ben are swimmers like me. That's pretty much the only sports teams we have at Forks High.

As I reach the teacher's desk, it sorta looks like Mr. Cullen is dropping two slips of paper into the box himself, but that can't be right. I'm the first one here, and teachers don't take part in the tradition.

Clearing my throat, I take another step and get his attention.

He plasters a quick smile on his face and tilts his head at me. "You finished already, Miss Swan?"

"Yes, sir," I say, always getting all shy around Mr. Cullen. I can't help it! He's like…God, totally dreamy. It's too bad he seems so broody most days. His wide shoulders are kinda hunched, and there are often shadows under his eyes. But aside from that, he could be a model. I swear.

When he holds out the container for me, I cautiously leave the notes inside, then smile timidly at him. "Thank you for—you know. You've been an awesome teacher to me."

Understatement. Being two years younger than most of my classmates, it hasn't been easy to fit in, but Mr. Cullen sorta took me under his wing when I started high school.

Aside from Alice and James, I don't really have a social life. Books are my buddies—my passion. I love studying. It's like breathing—comes naturally. But, in any event, I'm glad Mr. Cullen has been there for me.

"You're very welcome." He inclines his head. And winks. Which, oh my God, he's never done that before. I might die. "You made it easy." Then his faint smile falters slightly. "Kate told me you're leaving Forks this weekend?"

I nod and swallow, still thinking about that wink. "Yeah… I mean, yes. We're moving in to our new house in Providence on Monday."

"You look excited." While his smile grows a bit, it looks like some of the light in his eyes dims. "I'm very happy for you. You'll excel at Brown, I'm certain."

My cheeks heat up at the praise. "Thanks. It's a long way to go, but…" I trail off, intimidated by my own choice, but I nod firmly, determined.

I'm not the first high school graduate to be knocked up and still manage to pull off school. After my, uh, _sabbatical_ —with help from my parents and James—my dreams will come true. I'll get that degree in biology, and then I'll worry about veterinary school.

"Okay, I'm done!" Alice joins us and tosses her notes into the box. "Too late to regret it now." She surprises Mr. Cullen with a hug. "Thank you for these four years, Teach. Gotta go before I change my mind and kidnap that box. See you outside, Bella!" She runs out, leaving Mr. Cullen and me stunned.

"Well." Mr. Cullen chuckles and shakes his head. "She's something else, isn't she?"

"Yeah…" But now I also want a hug. "I'm gonna go, too. Um, thank you again, Mr. Cullen." Before I can chicken out, I step close and hug him. "For everything." Damn, he smells amazing. Like mint and spices and sunshine and hotness.

 _Firm body alert_.

"Oh, uh—" He pats my shoulder blade, and I start to think he's very uncomfortable, but before I can let go, he gives me a squeeze. And the gentle patting turns into a stroke down my back.

"Have a good summer, Isabella," he murmurs, releasing me.

"You, too." I swallow against the dryness in my throat, and I'm pretty sure that's the first time he's ever called me by my first name. "Bye, Mr. Cullen."

Hit with a sudden wave of emotion, I don't look back as I leave the classroom.

I don't look back as we leave the school premises either, nor when we leave Forks.

* * *

Insert _**Baby, it's cold outside.** _

-cara


	2. Chapter 1

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

 ** _Now_**

 _10 years later_

"It feels weird being here without your father." Mom smiles sadly as she stands in the middle of the living room of our old house.

When it went back on the market two years ago, Mom bought it blindly, without hesitating, without flying out here. Because, by then, we knew we were on our way back here. We just didn't know exactly when it'd be.

The house looks much the same, aside from a few paint jobs the former owners did. The floor and the countertops in the kitchen are also new.

"Are you sure about this?" I ask, concerned. I've asked her several times the past few months, because I'm worried about her. Even though it's been five years now since my dad was killed in a shooting, Mom mourns him as if it happened yesterday.

I'm not indifferent toward losing Dad. I get sad when I think about it, but Mom is alive, and she's hurting. That makes her my priority.

"I've never been surer," Mom answers firmly. "I need this. I've missed Forks."

So have I. It's been a long ten years, and I'm so ready to open the clinic with Mom.

The only thing I'm nervous about is meeting ghosts from the past, especially since not many people know I have a child.

Does Edward even know?

 _Edward_. Damn. That name sure comes with a few butterflies.

Will he see me and remember the faceless woman he fucked at that Christmas party in Seattle a few years ago?

It's only a matter of time before I run into him.

I know he's still teaching at Forks High, and I know that he and Aunt Kate have a son, who should be around eight now.

Our families have a couple friends in common… That's how we learned about their son. It's Edward's cousin—Carlisle—who happens to be married to one of Mom's friends, Esme. And since we learned about Edward's child that route, maybe he and Aunt Kate eventually found out about Masen…? I'm not sure. They didn't show up at Dad's funeral, for which I resent Aunt Kate.

I mean, I know they weren't close, but Christ, he was still her brother.

Mom received a condolence card from Aunt Kate, and it was such bullshit. I had Edward as a teacher; I know his handwriting when I see it, and he wrote that card.

"Do you want your old room upstairs or the guest room down here?" Mom asks, absently wandering over to the window. Masen is out there, playing with his action figures on a log.

He's too fucking cute. And it's hard to think he'll be ten this Christmas.

But first, I gotta get through the summer with a kid who gets bored so easily. Thankfully, I've looked up some activities for him, and the local church is organizing a few events for children. I hope he'll make some friends there.

"The guest room will be fine," I say, thinking about it. The room is slightly larger, and being downstairs has its advantages. I can share it with Mase until we've found an apartment, and he won't wake up Mom when he stomps down the stairs every morning.

I suppose I should call James to let him know we're here, though I doubt he'll care.

"He's excited to be here." There's a smile in Mom's voice as she watches Masen from the window.

I smile too, 'cause she's right. My kiddo is all for being outdoors. Hell, when he was only three and four, he insisted on tagging along when Dad went fishing or camping. Which meant I tagged along, too.

I'm definitely one of those overprotective mothers.

Speaking of that, we're so having a fence built around our backyard. Otherwise, knowing my curious son, he'll wander off right into the woods.

"Should we get something to eat before the movers get here?" I ask, checking my watch. The two trucks should be here in a few hours. This weekend, we gotta get to Seattle, too. Carlisle and Esme are watching Masen's golden retriever until we're settled and unpacked.

Masen can't be without his Chance for long.

Chance was actually my first patient. He'd been dropped off with two broken legs, bite marks along his neck, and there was no chip or collar to locate the owner. So, I took the pup home. He used to be people-shy and easily frightened, but today he's a cuddler and Masen's best friend.

"Sounds good." Mom nods. "We should drive by the clinic, too."

~oOo~

"Time for a haircut, baby?" I chuckle as Masen pushes back his dark hair for the tenth time since we sat down in the only diner in Forks.

He shrugs and gulps down some milk, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and grins at me. "Just don't cut it like you did last time."

Hey. It was one time. I accidentally got it all uneven, but it was hardly noticeable.

"I'll do my best, skater boy." I smirk and return to my meal. Glancing out the window, I see the police station across the street and nearly choke when I catch Emmett McCarty walking out, dressed in a police uniform. _Well, well._ Who knew that jock would become a cop? "Mom." I eye her, then Emmett, and she follows my gaze.

"I don't believe it." She snorts a laugh. "Is that Emmett?"

"Yup." Emmett was always nice enough to me since I got into sports too. We were both on the swim team, but he could be a real prick to others.

"Do you think many kids from your class stuck around?" Mom turns to me and forks a piece of chicken. "Maybe Alice?"

No idea, really. Alice and I never kept our promise. Five calls a week quickly became two calls, then one letter, then the occasional email, before it was nothing. She had big dreams of becoming a fashion designer, bigger than the dreams of becoming Mrs. Whitlock.

"I can see Jasper being in the area," I muse. He was the golden boy who went away on a football scholarship, yet it was implied he was to return and work with his father, who is the town's mayor now.

"Mom, I'm done," Masen declares, pushing his plate away. "Can I go outside?"

I swear that kid can't sit still for ten minutes. "Don't go near the street, and leave the cars in the parking lot alone." I raise a brow to show I'm serious.

He nods, jumps up, and busses my cheek before running out.

Mom chuckles softly and shakes her head. "We'll have him climbing the walls in no time."

"Without a doubt." I grin and scoop up some potato and meatloaf. "He'll be happy when school starts." And the soccer season. He loves soccer. I'm glad one of the events the church is hosting is a soccer tournament, which is next week. "I have to take him to Port Angeles to get him new shoes," I remind myself, then make a mental note to ask if they're playing on grass or gravel or turf. God forbid he shows up with the wrong outsoles and studs. "He's already outgrown his old ones."

"The Nikes I gave him?" she asks, and I nod. "Sweet Jesus. That was only a few months ago."

Yeah, well…it seems he's definitely gonna take after his father there. I'm short at five four, but James is six two. Though, that's probably the only thing Masen's inheriting from him. He has my hair, eyes, nose, and dimpled smile.

"Renee?"

We look up to see a woman standing at our table. She looks vaguely familiar to me, and Mom seems to recognize her right away.

"Lily!" Mom stands up to hug her. "Wow, it's good to see you."

"You, too!" Lily smiles widely. "Are you back in Forks for good or just visiting?"

"We're back." Mom nods, her smile faltering slightly. She makes an effort not to let the sadness of missing Dad show, but I see it. "Bella, you remember Mrs. Hale, don't you? You went to school with her daughter."

I frown for a beat, then remember Rose Hale. "Of course." I smile politely at Lily. "How is Rose?"

"She's well." Lily nods. "She just got through a nasty divorce—she's lived in Seattle, but she's coming back now." She looks satisfied to have Rose closer. "This is where she belongs. And what about you, honey? Are you bringing a significant other back to Forks?"

This is it. This is where the gossip will start. "Just my son." I point out the window where Masen is pulling up worms from the flower beds near the exit.

"Oh, heavens." Lily's doing the math, wondering just how old Masen is.

 _Welcome back to Forks, Bella._

Perhaps Lily's being polite, because she doesn't inquire. She just says he's precious, then asks more about our move—what we're gonna do and so on, and Mom tells her about the veterinary clinic we're opening together.

"So, four Swans move back, and one might be leaving, then," Lily concludes, and Mom and I exchange a look of confusion. Lily clarifies. "Well, Kate is technically a Cullen, but, you know. She's still Charlie's sister, and rumor has it she's leaving Washington."

"Really." Mom cocks a brow. "We're not close, so that's news to me. I take it Edward is moving, then too?"

Now I'm definitely paying attention.

"I wouldn't count on it." Lily sighs and shakes her head. "We believe Edward and Kate are separating." _Holy shit. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit._ "Kate has been offered a teaching position in Oregon, and as far as I know, Edward and little Anthony are staying here. It's such a shame—I thought they were happy together."

I'm not sure I'd go that far. I sincerely hope they loved each other; why would they stay together otherwise? But happy…? Considering how rarely I saw them in good moods, I wouldn't call them the perfect couple. That's also why I was so surprised to hear about them having a child.

"By the way, where is Charlie?" Lily asks, and gossip hour is over.

~oOo~

"Nana, where do you want this?" Masen stifles a yawn, his eyes glistening, and holds up a bundle of kitchen utensils. The box he's digging through is labeled "Kitchen," so I don't even know what it's doing in the living room.

"I can take that, sweetheart." Mom leaves her IKEA instructions and a half-built couch behind to assist Mase. _"Bella?"_ She gives me a pointed look.

"It's summer. He can sleep in," I remind her. When it's school, I'm strict with his hours. Tonight, I've given him a choice: he can stay up if he helps out, or he can go to bed.

I honestly thought he'd balk at helping us unpack, but I was wrong, and now I can't go back on my word. I guess that proves how much kids are willing to do as long as they don't have to go to bed.

Once Mom returns to the living room after taking the box to the kitchen, she's got a juice box and a plate of cookies for Mase, who accepts it all with a goofy grin on his face.

"Thanks, Nana."

"So much sugar at this hour?" I gasp, pretending to be scandalized.

Mom waves me off and sits down by the couch again. "He needs it."

Snickering, I refocus on the bookcase I'm putting together. A blanket of contentment settles over me, and I can't help but smile to myself. Providence was wonderful, but it feels so damn good to be back home. This is where I wanna build a life for Masen and me.

"So…that was quite a revelation earlier, wasn't it?" Mom's eyes flick to me quickly before she looks back to what she's doing. "I mean what Lily told us—about Kate and Edward."

"I suppose." I make sure to keep my face neutral. "I wonder if it's true. That Kate is leaving Edward and their son here." I wouldn't be able to do that, move so far away that I can't see my kid every day. "If anyone wanted to leave the small-town life, I'd expect it to be Edward." After all, he was born and raised in Chicago, then moved to Seattle for college, where he met Kate.

Mom hums. "By the way, Esme and Carlisle will visit us here next week instead. They're bringing Chance."

"That's a new development." I snort, knowing just how much Esme hates small towns. "What's the occasion?"

"You don't wanna know." Mom rolls her eyes.

"You're gonna tell me anyway, though," I tease.

She can be a gossip—when she wants to be.

"Well, yes." She comes over and sits down on the floor by me. "It seems there's trouble in paradise everywhere. When I told Esme about Edward and Kate possibly separating, Esme suddenly got very interested in 'checking in' on Edward."

"No fucking way." I admit it, I drop my jaw at that. For fuck's sake, she's married to Edward's _cousin_.

 _Yeah, and you fucked your aunt's husband, which he doesn't even know_.

Ouch. I wince internally.

"That's what I said." Mom nods smugly and quirks a brow. "Maybe we've landed in the middle of a soap opera."

So it would seem. _Man_.

Glancing over at my son, I see my escape. He's about to fall asleep on the floor with a pile of DVDs as a pillow, which makes for a supercute photo to put on my Facebook. Once I've pocketed my phone again, I stand up and make my way over to him. "Mase?" I brush some hair away from his forehead. "Time for bed, baby."

This time, there's no arguing.

* * *

-cara


	3. Chapter 2

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

A few days later, we catch another break when I sign a six-month lease for a new apartment.

In this standstill town, I'd expected it was gonna take time before we found something.

No one is happier than me to be wrong. It's a nice neighborhood, too. Close to the clinic, the post office, the diner, the one pizzeria—which is also a bar—and the police station. It also looks like several families live here, so maybe Mase can find friends.

Peering out the window of my new living room, I look down at the small playground. Four two-story buildings have the playground surrounded, making it feel safe to let the kids go out and play. There's a place for barbeques right next to it, and I wonder if my neighbors all know each other.

"Mom!" Masen runs into the living room with a big smile on his face. "Come look at my room! It's huge!"

I laugh and let him drag me down the hall. It's only a two-bedroom apartment, though it's enough for us, and I gave Mase the biggest room. I don't have a gazillion toys, video games, and sports gear; he does. The kid needs the space.

"And I have the forest right outside!" Masen points out his window.

"I take it you approve of our place?" I tease.

He grins. "It's awesome."

He'll like it even more when we've moved our furniture here from Mom's house. But that will have to wait until tomorrow when Masen is at the church's soccer event. Poor kid has been bored out of his mind these past few days while Mom and I worked to get everything ready at the clinic.

Tomorrow, he's got soccer all day long—and a chance to make friends—and the day after that is the tournament. Mom and I will attend with Esme and Carlisle.

"You ready to hit Port Angeles?" I ask. Mase needs cleats and some clothes. Mom's already there, finishing up some errands.

"Okay—is there a McDonald's?"

I snort a laugh and ruffle his hair. "The town isn't _that_ small, you know. Yes, there is a McDonald's. Come on—let's go."

We leave our new apartment behind and descend the outside stairs. The sun is actually out today, which is nice. As we reach the residents' parking lot, I stop short when I see _two_ silver Volvos. Same model, even.

"Um. Which one is ours?" Mase scrunches his nose.

Since I remember where I parked, it's a no-brainer, and there's also a sticker on mine that says "Soccer Mom," so there we go. But still, funny coincidence.

~oOo~

"Mom!" Masen shouts from our room. "We're gonna be _late_!"

"I'm hurrying!" I holler back, packing his sandwiches, a piece of fruit, and a candy bar. "You can take your bag to the car, baby!" Running a hand through my sleep-tousled hair, I nod in thanks as Mom adds a couple juice boxes to Masen's lunch bag and hands me a travel mug with coffee. "I really only pressed the snooze button once," I swear.

Mom simply smiles, placating me. "I'll be here when you get back. Shouldn't take more than two trips to bring everything to your apartment."

I nod and grab my thin cardigan from one of the kitchen chairs, shrugging it on over my black t-shirt. Christ, I look like a mess, but it is what it is. It's probably too cold to wear these denim shorts—hell, I wouldn't be surprised if half my ass is on display—but I don't have enough time to change.

With the lunch bag and my coffee in hand, I kiss Mom's cheek then hurry out to the hallway. I stick my feet into the closest pair of boots and walk out the open door—

"Bella!"

I stop at Mom's voice and look back. She rushes down the concrete steps with my phone and car keys, quickly putting them in my back pocket. Then she chuckles at me and returns to the door where she waves to Mase.

"Have fun today, sweetie!" she calls.

Already seated in the car, Masen grins and waves back.

 _And off we go._

Once in the car, I peel out of the driveway and make my way toward the church.

I give Masen a glance in the rearview. "You have everything?"

"Yeah." His head bobs to the radio. "I think my feet are gonna hurt tonight."

Figures, with new shoes and all. "I'm sure we can find a bucket somewhere."

The first time I watched one of Masen's games, I didn't understand why some of the kids stuck their feet into water before running out on the field. My son later explained to me that the water loosened up the leather on new shoes, thus preventing blisters.

Whenever Masen whines, _"They have no give, Mom!"_ I know to bring out a basin of water.

"You promise to be nice to the other kids?" I remind him, stopping at a red light. "Remember, they're not all soccer players."

This is supposed to be fun, and kids of all ages are welcome.

"I _know_. I'll be nice."

He better be. Now, my kid is a friggin' sweetheart; he defends anyone who can't defend themselves and never falls victim to peer pressure, but he's also insanely competitive. It wouldn't surprise me if he views this summer activity like the Champions League finals.

When we finally get to the church, I'm happy to see so many families gathered in the parking lot. There have to be close to fifty kids, at least a dozen of them Masen's age.

"I'll pick you up at four," I tell him. "Do you remember why Twix has two bars in each pack?"

Mase rolls his eyes, thinking I'm totally uncool. But that's how my dad said it to me, only he went with my favorite—Kit Kat. Twix is Mase's.

"Because it's meant to be shared," he mimics in a high-pitched voice.

I laugh as I park the car. "I don't sound like that."

He shrugs and gives me a silly smile. Then he's out the door with his sports bag.

"Your lunch, baby!" I call, exiting the car to follow. He's not escaping me that easily; I'm gonna talk to the people in charge, too. "You know what this means?" I hold up his bag. "It means you don't have to eat twenty hot dogs later."

Masen can eat more than Mom and me—combined—hence packing him a large lunch. So, when they're grilling hot dogs at the end of the day, Masen doesn't have to ruin the church.

"Got it." Masen nods and grabs the bag. "I'll only eat nineteen."

"Smartass." I shake my head, amused, and throw an arm around his shoulders. "Let's say hi to the others."

We cross the lot together, and I do recognize several people. They seem to recognize me too, but maybe they can't place me yet.

"Why are they looking at us?" Mase asks, keeping his voice low. "It was the same yesterday when we were out."

"We're the new kids in town," I say. "People are curious."

 _And eager for gossip_.

"Damn," I mutter, spotting Mr. Weber. I went to school with Angela, his daughter. Guess it makes sense I'd run into him here, seeing as he's the minister. He's dressed casually…for a man of God.

"Bella? Is that you?"

Turning to my left, I see Angela. Should've guessed she'd be here, too.

"Hey." I smile as she walks over with a toddler on her hip. "Long time, no see."

"Understatement!" She beams. "There was a rumor going around that you're back, but I wasn't sure."

Ten bucks say Lily Hale started gossiping as soon as we left the diner last week.

"Well, here I am." What else can I say? "This is my son—Masen." Facing Mase, I explain, "I went to school with Ms. Weber."

"Mrs. Cheney now, actually." Angela blushes. I smirk at the thought of her landing Ben. "This is our daughter—Emily."

"So cute." I grin and stroke her chubby little cheek with a finger. "I assume she's not here to play soccer?"

Angela giggles. "God, no. We're just here helping out. Ben should be around here somewhere, too. He and Jasper are gonna coach."

"Jasper, huh?" I look around to see if there's anyone else I used to know. We're still considered young—especially me since I graduated early—so I can't imagine that _everyone_ in my graduating class has kids already.

"Yup. Which means Alice is here as well," Angela says. "They're married now."

Wow, so I guess becoming Mrs. Whitlock was more important than fashion design, after all. "And they have kids?"

"A daughter." She points toward the church where I spot Jasper walking out with a girl who looks about five.

She looks like a princess, all dolled up by Alice, no doubt. She's very beautiful.

"How old is Masen?" Angela asks curiously.

I withhold my sigh. "Nine."

"Nine-and-a-half," Mase corrects me.

"Really?" Angela's eyes widen slightly, and it's her turn to do the math.

Having no desire for the follow-up questions or any awkward silence that might ensue, I offer a final smile before I steer Masen in the direction of Mr. Weber and Jasper.

Mr. Weber is just happy to see me, but of course, I gotta do the old song and dance with Jasper: That's your son? How old is he? Wow, almost ten? That means…

Yes, dickwad. I was knocked up when I graduated.

By the time I've spoken to Mr. Weber and introduced Masen, the whispers around me are less than subtle.

 _I wonder who the father is._

 _I'm surprised; Bella was such a good girl in high school._

 _No wonder her parents moved with her after graduation._

Suppressing yet another sigh, I kiss Masen goodbye and head back to my car, ignoring the stares.

"We're already late, Ant," I hear a voice murmur, and I look up, scanning the parking lot. There are plenty of cars, but most people are gathered farther away.

 _I know that voice._

Narrowing my eyes, I spot the back of a man's head. He's squatting down in front of his kid near a black sports car. And yeah, it only takes me about two seconds to realize it's Edward and his son.

"You can still back out." Edward's voice seems to hold concern for something. "You can do whatever you want."

I tilt my head and pretend to look for my keys, which is stupid. Edward is facing away from me, so it's not like he can see me.

"I should try," I hear the boy mumble. Anthony, Edward's son. "Mom said sports are important."

When Anthony shifts on his feet, his face comes into view, and he's like a miniature version of his dad. He also speaks like a little adult, his coppery hair combed to the side, and he's wearing the cutest glasses.

"I don't care about that, buddy," Edward replies patiently. "I won't tolerate you feeling pressured into doing anything."

Anthony offers a small nod and shoulders his backpack. He looks incredibly adorable in black shorts and a T-shirt with the words, _"If you can read this, thank a teacher."_

Oh, that's totally Edward. Aunt Kate may teach too, but Edward's _the_ teacher. It's in his blood.

"As long as the other children are nice…" Anthony trails off, squinting toward the gathering of kids and parents. "I might fall, but I think it's best to try."

God, how is that boy only eight years old? He sounds a _lot_ older.

The last thing I wanna do is step on anybody's toes; however, if Anthony is worried about being teased, I'd like to ease his fears. If there's one thing I can count on my son to do, it's to make others feel welcome. Even if Mase is the newcomer.

Swallowing my nerves, I walk over to them cautiously.

Anthony spots me first and takes on a shy expression.

"Excuse me." I suddenly wish I'd had time to put on prettier clothes.

Edward, still squatting down by his son, peers over his shoulder and looks up at my face.

Fuck me, he's just…beyond gorgeous. He's aged really fucking well. The glasses are back too, unlike the time in Seattle when he didn't wear any. Thin, silver-wired frames go perfectly with his deep green eyes and the sparse grays near his temples.

Last time I saw him, his hair was slightly longer and messier. Now it's only a few inches long, and the mess is…neater?

The only thing that hasn't changed is the way he dresses. Slacks are an Edward Cullen standard, as are the fitted V-necks that expose just a hint of chest hair at the top of his sternum.

He frowns at first, a few lines creasing his forehead and the corners of his eyes. Then those green eyes widen, and I'm sure he's recognized me.

" _Isabella_? Is that you?" He stands up abruptly, letting me remember how tall he is.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen." I smile awkwardly, immediately regretting my words. "I mean…um, I guess it's Edward now…?" I'm such a fucking loser.

 _Someone remind me I'm twenty-five, not fifteen. Please._

I moaned his name in a Seattle hotel room three years ago.

"Wow—I, uh…" Edward runs a hand through his hair and chuckles, though he's not looking at ease enough for chuckles. "Never thought you'd return to Forks."

I shrug vaguely. "I didn't mean to intrude—" I smile at Anthony, who's standing slightly behind Edward, blushing adorably. "I didn't mean to overhear either, but…" Well, that's a big whopper of a lie. "My son is here, too. He's new, and he'd love to meet a new friend."

"You have a son?" Mr. Cullen— _Edward, goddammit!—_ smiles tightly and looks down at Anthony, his expression softening. "What do you say, Ant? Perhaps you can tell…" He faces me again, and I know what he's wondering.

For the first time in ages, I feel heat creeping up my chest and my cheeks. "Masen—his name is Masen."

Which _coincidentally_ happens to be Edward's middle name.

I guess that shows how badly I was crushing on my teacher back in the day.

Edward gives me an odd look for just a second, then addresses Anthony once more. "Perhaps you can tell Masen all there is to know about Forks."

Anthony chews on his lip. "This town is small, but telling Masen everything there is to know would still take quite some time, Dad." He pushes up his glasses. "Forks's history is interesting."

Fuck that! There's no way this boy is only eight, even if he looks the part.

"If you get along, maybe you'll have more time," Mr. Cullen reasons, grinning.

"That's true." Anthony nods. "Is Masen good at soccer? I barely know the basics. Could he teach me without teasing?"

Aww, my heart melts. "Of course, honey," I say. "He's the monkey right over there—" I point toward the church where I can see Masen laughing about something with Jasper. My son's at least a head taller than Anthony; he can be intimidating at first—until he opens his mouth or flashes one of his silly grins. "And if anyone's mean to you, he'll do something I would never really approve of _out loud_." As in, kick bully butt.

"Well, that sounds good to me." Mr. Cullen dips down and kisses Anthony's forehead. "I like knowing you'll be safe. What do you say, buddy? You wanna give this soccer thing a try?"

Anthony takes on an expression of determination, hikes up his backpack, and nods firmly. "Yes."

I grin at him, thinking he's too stinking cute, this tiny adult. "Go to Masen and tell him Bella Swan sent you."

"Okay." Another nod from Anthony. "Thank you, Ms. Swan."

"It's Bella."

He flushes. "Okay. Bella." Giving his dad a quick hug, he walks hurriedly toward Masen, leaving me alone with the star of my kinky fantasies.

Too bad said star is wearing a wedding band, which he sure as heck wasn't the night we shared in Seattle.

Maybe Lily Hale doesn't know what she's talking about. The rumors could be false. In a town like this, a mere argument could morph into talk of divorce. If a kid shoplifts, the gossipers will say it was armed robbery.

Focusing on Anthony, I smile to myself as he reaches Masen, formally holds out his hand, and introduces himself to my son. There are words, but we're too far away to hear, and Mase handles everything casually. He shakes Anthony's hand, grins at something, some gesturing in my direction and then the church, and I can sense Mr. Cullen relaxing next to me. Edward, Edward, Edward. He's not my teacher.

"Thank you," he says quietly after a while. "He's always been more comfortable around books than people. His best friend is Huckleberry Finn."

I smirk and stick my hands into the pockets of my shorts. Friggin' things are riding up my ass, they're so short. "Good choice. And having heard your son speak, I'm sure he's opinionated about the book."

"Don't get him started." Edward faces me with a wry grin. "I thought he was too young at first, especially with some of the heavier subjects in the book, but he proved me wrong and actually did research."

Jesus. "Are you sure he's only eight?"

He cocks his head. "I never told you his age."

Shit. I turn sheepish. "I may have heard about Anthony through the grapevine."

He snorts a chuckle. "Esme, no doubt." Yeah… "Funnily enough, that grapevine must be awfully one-sided. Otherwise, surely I would've known about your son, whom I'd mistake for being your brother if I didn't know better."

 _Forward_.

"Good thing you know better, then," I quip.

He raises a brow. "Isabella…?"

I sigh. "He'll be ten in December."

"Ten…" He nods and stares at his feet, mirroring my stance by sticking his hand down in his pockets. "I see."

It's officially awkward.

"Um, I'm gonna go." I jerk my thumb over my shoulder and take a few steps backward. "It was nice seeing you again, Mr. Cullen. And don't worry about Anthony. Mase is a good kid."

I turn around and hurry to my car, ignoring my name— _Isabella_ —being called. Shit, I haven't felt this out of sorts in years. I'm all flustered and fidgety, the hard-working veterinarian nowhere to be seen. I mean, _seriously_ , I'm _Dr. Swan_. Not the fumbling schoolgirl with a crush on her teacher.

My parents took loans so I could go to Brown—friggin' Ivy League.

I bet Dad's rolling in his grave now.

* * *

-cara


	4. Chapter 3

_Hi, guys. So sorry for the delay. Me and my dumb ass thought I'd already posted. I'll try to post twice next week! Most of the other chapters are also a little longer._

 _Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"Mase, I wanna go home," I whine.

The kid is killing me.

After I picked him up today, he had the nerve to tell me he hadn't even worked up a sweat at practice. To which I got snarky and told him to go out and run.

Mom and I have worked our asses off getting my new apartment homey; every piece of furniture is arranged, we've cleaned, stocked the kitchen, and organized everything in Masen's room. All that's left is my own room, and I'll deal with that this weekend.

Anyway, _we_ sure as hell worked up a sweat.

"Come on, lazy Momma!" Mase laughs, jogging some ten feet ahead of me.

So…after dinner, Masen insisted on heading out for a run. And since it's dark, there's no way I'm letting him outside alone. Not in a town he's not familiar with yet.

I'd be a bad mother if I didn't encourage his behavior toward good health and exercise, so I donned a pair of yoga pants and a snug hoodie and let him drag me out.

Running shoes are foreign to me. I don't even know why I have a pair. At work, I wear ugly Birkenstocks that alert any fashion police in a ten-mile radius but feel so damn good. And when I'm off the clock, I prefer Chucks or hiking boots.

"Mommy's thirsty," I pant. "Mommy's dying."

Masen snorts and turns around, jogging backward. "Coach Ben told me today you used to be the fastest swimmer in high school."

First, that was only among the girls. Second, that was ten years ago. Third, it didn't include all distances and styles.

I'd tell him this if I had the capability of speech.

Instead, I just wheeze and point at the water bottle attached to an elastic belt around his hips.

He smirks then sighs and slows to a stop. Praise Jesus. "Okay, we can rest a minute."

I shoot him a glare and grab the bottle.

Once I've had some water and managed to calm down enough to breathe properly, I put on a stern face and tell Mase we've been running for hours. It's time to head home.

Mase's eyebrows shoot up. " _Mom_ , we've been out half an hour." He flashes me his watch.

"I don't care." I bat away his raised arm and wipe some sweat off my forehead. "It feels like hours—that's what matters. Besides—" I look around us, acting as if we're in the middle of the forest and not on an empty street lined with nice houses "—this is Forks. There're bears here, you know."

I'd hoped that would've scared him, but he just rolls his eyes. "Sure. Whatever you say. But if you're really that tired, I guess we can head back."

"Thank God." I throw up my hands.

All I want is to settle on my couch with a glass of wine and the latest smut novel I downloaded to my Kindle yesterday.

After Masen's gone to bed, of course.

On the way home, I'm glad my son has slowed down a little. But as focused as I am on just staying alive, I still gather strength to tell him I'm proud of him. Mainly because he takes this seriously. He doesn't just go out and run and then calls it a day; he stretches and does warm-up exercises, too.

"Coach Jasper let me show everyone my after-practice routine today," he tells me proudly. "Cuz many of the kids didn't know you gotta stretch after."

"That's great, honey." I smile at him, breathing heavily again. I really suck. "You like Coach Jasper and Coach Ben, huh?"

They're all he talked about at dinner. He's also made a couple friends his own age, for which I'm thankful, and now I'm curious about little Anthony.

"Yeah." He pushes back his sweat-slicked hair. "Coach Ben works at Forks Emelentary—"

"Elementary," I correct with a wink.

"Right." He nods. "He's the PE teacher, so…maybe I'll have him when I start?" He scratches his nose. "He's not as good as Coach Jasper, but he's okay."

I'm not surprised there. Jasper was our school's football star, and he's played soccer, too.

"Did Anthony like it today?" I ask, playing it off as casual despite the fact that I'm dying to know.

Masen shrugs. "I dunno."

That worries me. "You were nice to him, weren't you? I think he's been teased in the past. He needs a friend."

"I was nice," he defends. "I just don't think he likes soccer. But…" He chuckles and shakes his head. "He's great at scoring. Like, we were on the same team, and we got a penalty kick, right?" I nod, listening. "Yeah, so I was gonna take it, and Ant ran up to me and started talking superfast about angles, the grass, and weather conditions."

Oh, that sweet boy.

"I didn't get it," he groans through a laugh. "It was like another language, so I just let him take the shot." Wow. Considering how competitive Mase is, I'm shocked. "Ant stared at the ball a minute, then at the goal…" A small shrug. "He kicked and scored."

"Aww, I'm so happy to hear that." Up ahead, our neighborhood finally comes back into view, and I pant in relief.

"Me too, 'cause we totally won." Mase smirks. "We're gonna be on the same team tomorrow, too."

I'm kinda dreading tomorrow, since Esme and Carlisle are coming for the tournament. I bet Carlisle thinks they're only coming to drop off Chance and see Masen play, and I hope for all our sakes Esme won't do anything stupid.

"Any other new friends on your team?" I ask.

"Umm…" He huffs a breath, at last looking flushed and thoroughly exerted. "Nah, mostly Ant." I'm glad he's referring to Anthony as a friend. "He's a little weird—and crazy smart—but he's cool. And, umm, TJ is kinda cool, too. He's also almost ten, like me. And I told you about Riley." Yes, another boy my son's age. "You wanna race the last bit?"

It's my turn to huff. "Not even a little."

When he makes chicken noises, I scowl, and the long-buried athlete in me roars in fury.

 _You're acting eighty-five instead of twenty-five, Swan!_

Disturbingly enough, my inner athlete sounds like Aunt Kate. She sounded like a drill sergeant bitch when she was my swim coach, and she sounds like a drill sergeant bitch now.

I want to hate her for certain reasons, except…she's never been hostile toward me. Perhaps frosty, though that's kind of her personality in general.

"Come _on_ , Mom."

I wanna wipe that smirk off his face.

 _Come on, Swan!_

"Fine," I spit out, coming to a stop. "Give me twenty seconds to catch my breath, then you're on, kid."

"Yes!" He fist-pumps the air, which makes it impossible to be irritated with him. "What do I get when I win?"

 _So cocky_.

" _If_ you win, I won't force you to sleep outside." I stick my tongue out.

"No. Seriously. What do I get?"

"I don't know. What do I get if _I_ win?" I cock a brow.

He taps his chin before his eyes light up. "I'll do the dishes for a whole _month_."

I open my mouth, then close it. Hmm. Interesting. "Deal." I hold out my hand for him to shake. "And if you win, I'll buy you the new Madden."

"Really?" He gapes at me, hope in his dark eyes.

"Yep." I'm clueless when it comes to video games, but Mase has been talking about this one since the release date was official.

"You're on!" He gets all excited. "I'll even give you a ten-second head start."

Oh, that little— "Run," I snarl playfully, then take off. "First one to touch our door!" I call over my shoulder.

I push myself to the limits and beyond, hearing two pairs of shoes thudding against the pavement.

He's still behind me, though closing in fast, when I reach the residents' parking lot, but the way my thighs are fucking _burning,_ I know I won't last much longer.

"Shit," Masen pants behind me. "You can run."

Speeding between two buildings, I round a corner and aim at the stairs leading to our apartment, and—

"Oomph." I crash into someone, sending an innocent neighbor to the ground.

Pain shoots up my knee as it scrapes against the asphalt, but it's bearable and I'm more concerned about the neighbor.

"What the _hell_!" It's a man, and he chokes and coughs.

"I'm so sorry!" I let out a squeak, then whimper when I put pressure on my knee.

"Mom!" Masen kneels down next to me. "Are you okay?"

I groan and roll onto my back, glaring at the night sky. "Yeah." Just wounded my knee and my ego. "I'm fine. Promise."

In the back of my mind, I register a foul smell, and I sincerely hope it's not me.

"Oh, good." He releases a breath, sounding relieved, but then the little shit takes off on me. "I'm sorry, but I _really_ want the game!"

Ignoring that, I push myself up to inspect the damage, and my eyes grow large when I see that it's Mr. Cullen lying next to me, watching me with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, God." I moan and plop down on the hard ground again, wishing it'd swallow me whole. I squeeze my eyes shut for good measure. "When I open my eyes, you won't be here. This is a bad dream."

"Afraid not," he replies wryly. "We're both here. On the ground. Covered in garbage."

That would explain the smell.

"I'm sorry." And so fucking embarrassed. "I'm really sorry, Mr. Cullen."

He huffs a chuckle, and I hear him sitting up. A hiss escapes him.

"Are you okay?" I shoot up too, worried now. "Did I hurt you?"

He winces and brushes some lettuce and bread crumbs off his black T-shirt. "My ass took a beating, which isn't really my kink. And I think I'm a bit miffed by the fact that a five-foot-nothing girl managed to topple me over."

I'm not sure what to respond to. That I'm taller than five-foot-nothing. That I'd been running for my life—hence packing some strength. That it's my son's fault—let's say it is! Or maybe I should ask him what his kink is.

Instead, I blurt out another apology.

"It's quite all right, Isabella." The corners of his mouth turn up a fraction. "Who knew it would be such an adventure to take out the trash at ten PM?"

"Mom!" Masen yells from the second story. I can't really see him, but his voice sure carries. And between these four buildings, it echoes. "I won!"

Mr. Cullen smirks faintly. "I take it you raced?"

"Yeah…" I grin sheepishly and dust off some— "What _is_ this?" His right side is covered in something powdery, and it's blue.

"That would be watercolor pigments." He shakes his head in amusement, and with a grunt, he stands up. "I'm afraid you've been hit, too."

Looking down, I laugh at the absurdity of this evening. Never did I think I'd end up covered in Edward's garbage. "Someone doesn't like crusts." I pick a perfect square of crusts from toast off my shoulder. I won't go near the spot of smeared dressing on my hip.

"Let me help you." He extends a hand.

Maybe I grasp it too eagerly, but I don't give a crap. He helps me up, all while I think about his large hands touching other parts of my body.

Right before he lets go, I notice—with interest—that he's taken off his wedding band.

 _So suddenly_.

Did something happen today?

"Thanks." I give him a quick smile, then look down to brush away what looks like grated cheese off my yoga pants. A torn plastic bag is on the ground, trash littered around us. "I'll, uh…go get a broom." I just pray I have one. Mom bought me a bunch of cleaning supplies, so here's to hoping.

"Nonsense." Edward dismisses that. "I'll take care of it. No argument." That teacher brow is cocked and loaded. "Are we clear?"

 _Unf_.

"Yes, sir." I clear my throat, getting flustered again. It's time to retreat. "Where do you live?" I ask, then feel the need to clarify. "My mom's always told me to apologize with baked goods."

Baking is the only thing I'm good at in the kitchen. Sadly, Masen's witnessed too many meals looking like charcoal over the years, resulting in a drawer full of takeout menus. But for some reason, I can bake like no other.

" _That_ , I won't say no to." Mr. Cullen winks at me, taking me back to graduation day, the first and only time he's winked at me in the past. Sigh. "Ant and I live over there." He points at the building across from mine. "Apartment 4A."

 _No Aunt Kate, then?_

Maybe she's at their house.

"Masen and I are in 24B," I say for no reason at all. "So, anyway…" I blow out a breath and run a hand through my hair, grimacing when I find orange peels there. "I'll see you and Anthony tomorrow at the tournament, I guess?"

Edward sticks his hands into the back pockets of his jeans—jeans! Wow, I've never seen him in jeans before.

"Are you running away from me again, Isabella?" He tilts his head and smirks a little. "Twice in one day—should I be offended?"

"No!" I say quickly. God. "No. Not at all, Mr. Cullen—"

His chuckle cuts me off. "I believe you can call me Edward now. I'm not your teacher anymore."

Oh, I know. I have no problem moaning it when we fuck.

 _He called me a greedy little whore._

I flush.

"I'll try to remember that." I'm not sure he's heard me, 'cause his attention is on my knee.

He frowns and takes a step closer, squatting down in front of me. "Let me see." Without waiting for permission—or my pleas for more—he gently cups the backside of my knee. "You're going to throw these away, I assume?" He looks up at me in question, referring to my yoga pants.

I nod, since I don't like holes in my clothes, and there's a fairly large one over my right knee.

He nods too, then proceeds to slip his fingers inside the tear, only to ruin my pants some more. With the fabric out of the way, he ghosts a finger over the skin that isn't broken and brushes away some tiny pebbles.

"You have to clean this," he murmurs. "Maybe put a Band-Aid on it." He sends me a quick grin. "But you should be back to new in no time, Dr. Swan."

I wanna ask if he can put on the Band-Aid and then kiss it better.

But I suppose that wouldn't be appropriate.

"I never told you I was a doctor."

He smiles and stands up. "Perhaps there's a grapevine for me, too." He taps my nose. " _Or_ , maybe I ran into your mother at the store earlier." He takes a step in the direction of his building. "I always knew you'd become a veterinarian like Renee. I'm proud of you, Isabella."

My cheeks heat up under his praise, and I sincerely hope it doesn't show.

Unfortunately, my time with Mr. Cullen— _Edward_ , frickety fuck—has run out. The real world beckons, and the world's name is Masen.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He tips his head and walks away, leaving me all flushed and horny.

Damn him.

* * *

-cara


	5. Chapter 4

_Hello! Like I mentioned in my FB group, since I'm so fucking forgetful about posting once a week, I'm going to post every other day until the story is complete. I didn't want to spam Lisa with chapters, hence waiting a bit. Now I have a pile! So I'll see ya the day after tomorrow again.  
_

 _Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"He's very fast," Carlisle comments as Masen runs across the soccer field.

"He's showing off before the first game starts," I laugh.

It's pretty early, though almost everyone is here already. The four soccer fields are surrounded by families, and it's another rare sunny day in Forks.

Mr. Cull—I mean, Edward. Christ. Edward and Kate are farther down this side of our team's field, and the only reason I haven't walked over to say hi is because there's an unmistakable tension between them. And not the good kind of tension.

Esme has noticed it, too. She glances over there every now and then, to which Mom glares at her.

"Is it too early for alcohol?" I joke.

We did pack a few wine coolers for later. Mom and I are rebels like that.

"I suppose it can be five o'clock soon." Mom straightens the picnic blanket and removes her shoes. "Okay, breakfast time."

Thank God. This morning, I may or may not have run late—again—so I only had time to give Masen breakfast. Since he's playing, I figured he was the priority. Now I'm itching to sink my teeth into one of Mom's homemade subs.

Carlisle yawns behind his hand and sends Mom an apologetic look, which she waves off. Why he's bashful about being tired is ridiculous. They took the last ferry from Seattle last night, drove all the way to Port Angeles, checked in to a motel, then arrived in Forks before eight AM.

Masen's dog is currently sleeping off the trip at Mom's house.

"This looks wonderful, Renee," Carlisle says, sitting down.

"I wonder if it's true," Esme muses, glancing over at the Cullens. Again. "Do they look separated?"

I smile in thanks as Mom hands me a sub, and there's no way I'm telling Esme that I'm pretty sure Kate doesn't live with Edward and Anthony.

Mase runs over eventually, sweaty and grinning, and Edward's son is trailing after him.

"Hi, my champions," I say with a smile. "Don't tire yourselves out before the tournament."

"No way," Mase huffs.

Anthony twists a lock of his hair, pensive and shy. "I'm a little tired."

"Well, sit! Come here, honey." I pat the spot next to me on the blanket and dig out a bottle of Gatorade. Behind me, I hear Esme muttering how much he looks like Edward. "Are you having fun?"

Anthony blushes and sits down next to me, not entirely comfortable. "Masen is a good teacher."

My son puffs out his chest. "Of course I am. I know everything about soccer."

"You're so modest too, darling," Mom quips, and Carlisle laughs.

Anthony does look exerted, so it's only natural for me to fuss. I touch his flushed cheek and remind Masen not everyone has a built-in supply of crack.

"This is very tasty." Anthony takes another big gulp of his Gatorade and wipes his arm across his mouth.

I grin and comb back his messy curls with my fingers.

Something catches my eye, and I turn left to see Edward walking over, hands down in the pockets of his slacks.

"I may have to kidnap your son," I tell him. "He's too cute for words."

Anthony's blush intensifies, and he squints up at his dad. "Bella gave me this. It's delicious."

He's never had Gatorade before? Crap, I hope this isn't some rule they have.

"Is that so." Edward smiles a little and squats down in front of his boy. "Are you excited about the game?"

"Excited is a strong word," Anthony replies, and the rest of us chuckle. "I hope I won't mess up."

"Anthony," I say, and he faces me. "My teacher from high school once told me messing up is better than not trying, so be proud that you're out there instead—trying. It's all that matters."

Edward flashes me a quick look, his expression growing warm and softer.

Shit, this is so not the time for _my_ cheeks to heat up.

 _Yes, I remember everything you taught me._

"Thank you, Bella." Anthony nods. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Yeah, there's just no way he's only eight," I tell Edward.

He grins.

~oOo~

The boys win their first game, meaning they get to stay on that field. The losing teams get shuffled around to face new opponents, and Mase runs over quickly to declare his goal is for them to stay on the same field all day.

I've eaten and poured my second drink, and I'm ready to cheer for all I'm worth.

Anthony gains some confidence when he scores, and Masen high-fives him.

I beam at them.

Edward has moved closer, standing with Carlisle while Kate stays farther away, eyes locked on her phone, and the only thorn in my side is Esme. She's continuously trying to get Edward's attention, and he's not having it. He's here as a proud parent, for chrissakes. He wouldn't talk much with anyone at the moment, just like I wouldn't. We're here for the boys.

I bite my thumbnail as Masen feints left, only to kick the ball right and pass a player in blue. Mase and Anthony are wearing red shirts, both too big for their forms. Anthony is almost drowning in his.

"You got this, Mase!" I holler. "Pass the ball!"

"TJ is safe!" Mom yells. "Pass to TJ!"

Anthony huffs and puffs and tries to catch up, but Masen and TJ are older and taller, and they've reached the goal area. My son passes to his friend, who quickly passes it back to Masen, who scores.

"Whoop! Great job, baby!" I cheer.

Edward and Carlisle applaud and let out sharp whistles, 'cause that's what the men seem to be doing. Fuck it, I'm tipsy. I'm gonna cheer like a lunatic.

While the boys scurry to have some water before the game continues, Anthony rushes over to me, panting.

"May I have some Gatorade, please?"

"Of course, sweetie." I dig out another bottle and hand it over. "You're doing so well out there. I'm proud of you."

"Isabella stole my words." Edward squats down again, and he kisses Anthony's cheek. "You're doing great out there."

"Thanks, Dad," Anthony says, breathing heavily. "This game would be improved if we could use Segways."

I let out a loud laugh and promptly slap a hand over my mouth.

Edward chuckles and shakes his head.

Anthony's ready to run out again, and the game continues, this time with Edward standing next to me.

"If he develops a sugar addiction, I'll come knocking on your door."

I cross my fingers and accidentally turn my smile into a flirty one.

Perhaps alcohol wasn't the best move.

He smirks, though his eyes show a hint of confusion.

~oOo~

"That makes no sense, honey," Mom tells me. "The house is bigger. Of course we'll have the barbecue there."

"Nuh-uh," is my intelligent reply. We're waiting for the boys, who are being praised by their coaches on the other side of the field, and it's our time to decide where to host the celebratory dinner. Then I see my reasoning for having the barbecue by my place, and I quickly jog over to Edward and grab his arm, giving him absolutely no warning before ushering him back to Mom. "Less of a drive for four people if we eat at my place."

"Pardon?" Edward's stuck in surprised mode, probably because I just manhandled him.

Mom sighs. "Carlisle and Esme are staying with me."

"So that makes you three," I point out. "Between Edward, me, and the boys…" I hold up four fingers. I look up at Edward to explain. "We're having a barbecue to celebrate their win, and you and Anthony are obligated to come. Oh, and…um, Aunt Kate." Can't believe I forgot her. Actually, screw that. She had her ass planted on the grass and her gaze glued to her phone all day. She's the worst cheerleader for her own son.

"Oh, really." Edward's eyes flash with mirth, and I figure it's a good time to release his arm. "I was unaware of this barbecue."

The few drinks I've had are slowly leaving me, and with them, taking my courage away, so my next words come out less brazen. "But you'll be there, right? We just have to pick up Masen's dog first."

He smiles and faces my mom. "I'd love to."

It hits me then that he might feel like Mom is more his peer. For all I know, I'm just a former student. I'm Renee and Charlie's daughter. Oh God, is that how he feels?

Blah.

~oOo~

There's one great thing about having Esme around at dinner. She asks Edward all the questions Mom and I feel are too intrusive to ask without an established friendship or whatever. We're not very close, but that doesn't stop Esme.

Aunt Kate isn't here. She said she had dinner plans in Port Angeles, so maybe that's why Esme didn't even hesitate before throwing out, "So, are you and Kate separating, then?"

Mom and I listen in while setting one of the two picnic tables in the barbecue area in the yard between our buildings. Carlisle is working the grill, and I can sense Edward wants to help out—if only he weren't held hostage by Esme's questions.

"We are, yes," he answers.

 _Thank fuck._

"May I ask why?" Esme pulls off fake concern like a pro. "She'd be crazy to walk away from someone as handsome as you."

"Jesus Christ," I mouth to Mom.

"I know." She rolls her eyes at Esme.

"We haven't been on good terms in a long time." Edward tips his beer bottle at Carlisle. "I should go help your husband."

Ooh. Yeah, the _your_ _husband_ was not subtle. I'm actually glad he's noticed she's being inappropriate. I wouldn't have been able to point it out, seeing as the biggest Inappropriate Award already goes to me, for fucking my aunt's husband while wearing a mask.

Mom and I head up to my apartment to get the rest of the sides we've prepared—or bought—and when we return outside, Carlisle and Edward are speaking quietly among themselves while manning the grill.

Esme is looking up at the sky. "I think it might rain."

There's a canvas ceiling over the tables, so I can't say I'm worried.

"Who wants wine?" Mom offers with a smile.

"Me, please," Carlisle is quick to say. "The bigger the glass, the better."

"That's what I always say." I wink at him.

He laughs quietly. "It's difficult for me to grasp that you're old enough to drink now, honey."

I groan internally.

"Indeed," Edward agrees with a hum.

I groan again, not so internally this time. "I've been old enough to drink for years." I keep my grimace to myself and tense my jaw as I turn away from them to put the last of the condiments on the table. Then I look over at the playground and tell the boys to go wash up because dinner is ready.

~oOo~

Alcohol puts me in a better mood eventually, and it helps that both Mase and Anthony fall asleep on either side of me after dinner. The wine is flowing, candles are lit when it gets too dark, and blankets are handed out for those who are chilly.

"You have to let me know if you want me to take him, Isabella." Edward's eyes glow in the candlelight, probably also due to the few beers he's had. He's seated on the short end of the table, his precious boy between us.

"I'll think about it." I look down at Mase who's sprawled out along the bench and using my leg as a pillow. It can't be comfortable, even though he's sound asleep. Anthony is half sitting and pressed against my side, his head dropping every now and then. Whenever it happens, he quickly rouses, only to blink sleepily and go under again.

Esme, Mom, and Carlisle are discussing how expensive Seattle has gotten, and I'm pretty sure that applies to every city in America. Either way, it's more interesting to focus on the sleeping soccer champions.

"How's your knee?" Edward asks me.

My mouth quirks. "All patched up."

He nods once. "Good."

"See, that's another reason I have no desire to go there anymore," Mom says. "I'd love to go to Seattle for a weekend with Bella sometime, but if you want a good hotel, it's going to cost you." She faces me. "When you were there a few years ago, didn't you pay outrageously for a simple motel room?"

Er, let's _not_ discuss my brief visit in Seattle when Edward is _right there_.

Carlisle frowns at me. "You were here? Why didn't you call us? You should've stayed with Esme and me."

Now it's impossible to even look in Edward's direction, and I wave it off. "I was just seeing a friend over a weekend."

"When was this?" Edward asks curiously, and my stomach flips uncomfortably.

I do what any panicking woman would do in this situation—I "accidentally" spill my wine all over the table. "Oh, shit."

"Bella," Mom admonishes halfheartedly. "Perhaps no more wine for you?"

My heart races, and I allow some relief to seep in when Edward quickly offers to get napkins.

~oOo~

When Esme announces she's tired, the evening is drawing to a close. Mom may have suggested I lay off the wine, but I kind of didn't. Now my courage is back, and I want five minutes alone with Edward to ask a question or two. Luckily for me, Anthony's crawled up in my lap and is sound asleep, so I think that's a solid excuse to help him get to bed.

Edward extends his hands to take his son from me, but I shake my head.

"No, it's okay. I've got him. You lead the way," I say.

Mom's already trying to take Mase from me, anyway. "He probably wants to stay with Nana tonight."

"He probably _doesn't_ ," I laugh softly. "He just got Chance back, Mom." I know my son, and he undoubtedly has plans to play with his pup all day tomorrow.

"Fine." She makes a face. "At least let me get him upstairs."

That works great for me. Edward hesitates for a beat, then thanks Mom for a lovely evening and makes his way toward his apartment across the yard.

"We should catch up some more soon, Edward," Esme calls.

Even from close to Edward's building, I hear Carlisle's sigh.

"Relentless woman," Edward says under his breath, digging out his keys. Flicking a glance back at me, he realizes I heard him. "I'm sorry."

I hoist Anthony higher, positioning him on my hip. His head lands on my shoulder. "I don't know why you're apologizing. She's sort of blatant. I feel bad for Carlisle."

He nods and unlocks his door. "I spoke to him earlier. It looks like there's another divorce on the horizon."

"Oh." My heart goes out to Carlisle on that one. He's one of the sweetest men I've met. At the same time, it's good news because he deserves better.

Edward flips the light switch, revealing a neatly and sparsely decorated living room and adjacent kitchen. Stark white meets gray and moss green, and the only thing on the walls are pictures of Anthony. A couple of Edward and Anthony, too.

"His room is down the hall here." He takes the lead, and we pass one bedroom that has to be his. Anthony's is next, and it's unlike any other kid's room I've seen. It's so _clean_.

He's into space and model trains and books. Somehow, I'm not surprised.

"We don't have to wake him, do we?" I enter the room and cup the back of Anthony's head.

"No, his teeth should survive until tomorrow." There's amusement and something else in Edward's voice—affection, I decide. Affection for his son.

I carefully lower Anthony to his bed, pulling away the covers so he can get under them. Then I take off his shoes before his feet can touch the mattress, and Edward joins me to help out with his shirt and jeans.

"I…" He hesitates again and focuses a little too intently on folding Anthony's pants. "I hope this won't sound strange—or offensive—but seeing you with Masen—not to mention Ant—has given me hope."

"Hope?" I straighten and tilt my head, confused.

He stands up straighter too, though he watches his son. "I worry about Ant—with Kate moving, I mean."

Okay, so we're on the topic now. This is good. It feels weird, but it's good, because then my questions won't hit him so hard. Hopefully.

"What do you worry about?" I ask softly.

"That he'll grow to distrust women," he murmurs. "Kate is distancing herself, and it infuriates me." Jesus, no wonder. "My own mother has shown very little interest in him too, and he notices." The conflict, the burden, it's all visible in his expression. "But seeing you, Isabella…" He sighs quietly and offers me a tired little smile. "Firstly, it's wonderful Ant is fond of you. Secondly, I hope it means I can pull this off—being a single parent."

This is the most we've talked on a personal level, and I love it. Hell, I want so much more, but it also fills me with guilt. I haven't been honest with him, and here he is, confiding in me.

He's answered a couple of my questions already, mainly by confirming that Kate is, in fact, moving. Now I also know she's not the mother I would've hoped she'd be. I don't want her to be another James.

"At the risk of overstepping," I say carefully, "I'm across the yard when you have doubts. Being a single parent is full of those evenings, but we're kind of badass if you ask me." I nodded at Anthony. "And you're clearly his world." Edward was the first person Anthony looked at when he did something people cheered for on the soccer field.

Then it's my turn to hesitate, but I can't help but go there. "Is that the plan, though? I mean, Aunt Kate really won't be there for him?"

He shakes his head. "Not enough, anyway. She speaks of having him in Portland for breaks here and there. A couple weeks in the summer, a few days before Christmas… She'll come up and visit, she says."

So she's exactly like James, only he's fading out completely. Kate better not do that to Anthony.

"I can't relate to her. Or sympathize." I shake my head.

"I suppose, part of the reason is they never bonded the way Ant and I did." His brow furrows in thought, and he puts his hands in his pockets. "She wanted a girl, I think. She had a gut feeling it was going to be a girl, too." He sighs, seemingly snapping out of his musings. "Christ, I shouldn't be talking your ear off about this. I apologize, Isabella."

"Please don't see me as a child, okay?" I fold my arms, uncomfortable and nervous to broach this. "I'm not your student anymore. I'm definitely not your niece. What I am is a single mother, one who'd like to be there, and I'm old enough to drink." I end it on a lighter note so it doesn't get too awkward. "I should go, but think about what I said. I'm happy to help."

I walk out, because he looks troubled by something and I don't want him to be put on the spot and feel pressured to respond. I decide to give him a little bit of space too; he has a lot going on, and the last thing I want is to be another Esme to him. It's clear to me my feelings for him aren't going anywhere, and it would hurt if he started finding me annoying.

The following day, I leave a plate of cookies at his door—as promised—and the next move will be his.

* * *

-cara


	6. Chapter 5

_Lookie, I'm on time and everything!  
_

 _Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

I find the best way to cure Masen's boredom when Mom and I start working in our new clinic. The first few days, he doesn't really know what to do—and the kid hates hamsters that are so frequently a vet's patient—but once he figures things out, he's beaming. He stands behind the little counter and makes conversation with people who are waiting if Mom and I are too busy. And busy we are. We learn that many are relieved to finally have a clinic in town because before, they had to go to another town or have a vet travel here from Port A.

"Mom!" Mase hollers. "Mrs. Newton is here with her Chihuahua."

"Be right there, hon." I smile to myself and help a woman's Lab off the scale. "Okay, so he's not as overweight as you feared. Labs are sturdy dogs. Some more exercise every day will take care of the couple extra pounds. And as always, food with as little glucose as possible is good, too."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Swan." The woman bends over to scratch her dog's ears. "Yeah, you're coming with me on my run from now on."

I chuckle and follow them out to the modest lobby, and I check to make sure Mase remembers how to handle the payment. Last week, he had a minor argument with the register.

He side-eyes me when he's uncertain about the pricing.

"Regular check-up, medium-size dog."

"Oh, right." He nods and writes the receipt carefully. "I knew about the size."

"When he grows up, he'll sing another tune about helping out," Mrs. Newton says with a glint in her eye. I remember her. I went to school with her son.

"I'm not looking forward to that," I laugh softly. With a final pat to the Lab's head, I give Mrs. Newton's Chihuahua my attention. My dad used to call them bait.

I'm lucky Mase fell for Chance. He naps peacefully in the corner behind the door and doesn't care much about other dogs.

~oOo~

Hearing Anthony's laughter in the lobby has to mean Edward is nearby. We see each other in passing practically every day, and we chat about insignificant stuff when either of us is picking up one boy from the other after Masen and Anthony have played, but it doesn't look like there's a friendship on the horizon for us.

I had to hear through my mom who heard it from Esme who heard it from Carlisle that Edward and Aunt Kate have sold their house.

I'm doing my best not to sulk about it. Edward has too much on his plate.

"Such a good boy." I press a kiss to my current patient's head and stroke his fur. He's a big Newfoundland cuddle bear. "And he's eating regularly?"

"Yeah." Mr. Morgan nods, visibly frustrated and worried. "I don't have a clue how this started. Everything else is normal. He's in a good mood."

I nod and wheel my chair over to my desk. "I want to rule out allergy, hence my questions." There's a number of reasons a dog can start losing hair. "I'll know more when we get the blood work back. In the meantime, I suggest changing his food to one without fish oils."

Masen laughs at something—too loudly—and I almost miss Mr. Morgan's comment on how he's read fish oils are good. Yeah, him and most of the western world.

"Excuse me for a moment." I smile apologetically and poke my head out the door of my exam room. "Masen, remember what we talked about?"

"Sorry, Mom!" His head appears in the hallway. "Edward is bringing us lunch."

"Okay, but indoor voices, yes?"

He nods and disappears again, and I launch into the pros and cons of fish oils versus omega, leaving Mr. Morgan sufficiently confused. Either way, he says he's gonna try another brand of food, and I promise to be in touch when his pup's results are back.

After Mr. Morgan has left, I finish my notes in my room and wait for Mom to get out of surgery. I want to know how it went with the Stein couple's teacup pig.

I may want one. They're seriously cute. And so tiny.

The bell above the door clanks, alerting someone's arrival, so I wrap things up and leave my room.

Masen hears my heels clicking on the floorboards, I assume, because he creates a static noise and says, "The whitecoats are coming, the whitecoats are coming."

I shake my head in amusement. But yes, I may be wearing heels today, and yes, it might be the first and last time. I wanted to try something new, maybe to summon my inner seductress. But I'm sorry, Birkenstocks are just a hell of a lot comfier.

I usually prefer scrubs over skinny jeans, too.

As I near the lobby, I spy Edward checking out the wall of drawings kids have given us from back in Boston. Anthony is on the couch by the window, reading a medical journal for farm animals.

Mase is behind the counter. "Yo, Mommy Whitecoat."

"Yo, Kiddo Northface." That's the best I could come up with. His jacket is a North Face, so… Yeah, no one ever accused me of being too funny.

Edward turns and smiles. "Dr. Swan."

Aw, shucks. I wish I could hide my blush behind my hair, but last year I had the stupid idea of cutting it short. I'm letting it grow out now. A few more weeks and I'll be able to pull it back in a ponytail. Or pull it forth to hide my fucking face when he sets it on fire.

"Mr. Cullen," I return with a slight curtsy. "How did we deserve such fancy company?"

"Dad was bored," Anthony answers frankly. "When he's bored, he starts arguing with people online."

I smirk, though I really want to laugh. "Are you a troll, Edward?"

He sends Anthony a look that says "thanks for throwing me under the bus, son," before pulling off his best indifferent expression. "I won't take the blame for people on the internet constantly being wrong."

"Of course." I snicker and lean against the counter, one hand in my coat. "What were they wrong about today?"

"Words. English words." Anthony flips a page in the magazine.

"Honestly, buddy." Edward gives him a look before turning to me again. "There's quite the controversy around the origin of several sayings, actually."

I can't help it any longer. I laugh behind my hand.

He sighs, then mutters under his breath how the younger generations just don't get it anymore while he picks up a takeout bag and sets it on the counter.

"As a thank you," he says, with his patience and ego being tested, "for the cookies the other week. They were amazing."

He already told me that on a note when returning the plate. "You didn't have to do this," I tell him. "But whatever it is, it smells great."

"Given the few options we have in Forks, you must be starving if you think it smells that good." His mouth twists, and I chuckle. "And as Ant pointed out, I was bored out of my mind and wanted to do something. Summers were never my thing." He might be the only teacher who thinks so. "Speaking of summer, did you receive your invite for the summer reunion?"

I nod. The people of Forks are oddly obsessed with reunions, so there's one hosted in the summer and one in the winter when it's been ten years since you graduated. Then fifteen, then twenty.

"It was in the mail yesterday." I dig out four containers from the bag, and Masen takes charge to check the contents. "Were you invited?" I know they invite some of the more popular teachers sometimes. Edward probably gets invited every year.

"I was, though I doubt I'll attend."

I'm not surprised.

"Are you going, Mom?" Mase asks as he starts devouring a big serving of chicken with rice and gravy. "Maybe Ant and I can have a sleepover at Edward's?"

"You're more than welcome to," Edward replies.

"Hold up," I protest. "It's not for another month. Plenty of time for me to convince Edward to come with me. If you're having a sleepover with Anthony, it'll be at your grandmother's."

Mase shrugs, fine with either.

"It never made sense for me to go." Edward frowns. "Since I started teaching at Forks High, I've been to three, I think. They were dreadful. Even my best students tend to eventually throw away their lives. Why would I want to witness that?"

"Ha! You're a delight." I roll my eyes and laugh at his cynicism. "Not everyone measures success the way you do, you know."

He waves that off, dismissive. "If I put too much value in high positions and prestigious careers, I wouldn't have become a teacher. No, this is about happiness. I rarely see old students who are genuinely happy."

I hum and know exactly what I want to ask, but it could be too mean. I don't want to offend him. At the same time, I can't frickin' help it. I phrase myself carefully as I pick a container with a chicken salad.

"What would your old English teacher say if he or she met you today?"

Edward doesn't miss a beat. "He was a cantankerous old fool and wouldn't care." He pauses. "I know what you're saying, though. I'll have to think about it."

What a cop-out response. I've never seen Edward truly happy. I see glimpses of something more when he's with Anthony, but in general…? Nope.

"Edward, was Mom a nerd in school?" Mase asks.

I huff and walk over to sit on the floor next to Chance.

The tightness around Edward's eyes seem to disappear, and he smiles faintly. "Your mother was a teacher's dream. She liked school, and it showed."

I stick out my tongue at my son.

He snorts a laugh. "Sounds like a nerd to me."

Yup, and nerds get stuck with hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans.

Can't wait to brag about _that_ at my reunion. To be honest, I'm just going because I'm nosy. My biggest secret is already out, and I wanna know what happened to everyone else. It would also be good if I can get over the awkwardness with Alice. When we got reacquainted at Masen's soccer thing, it was uncomfortable and formal. She didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to say.

I've run across most of the people I was relatively close to back in the day by now. I almost literally stumbled into Emmett the other day outside the diner. I talked to Jasper and Ben since they coached the boys before the tournament, of course. Mike works in his parents' store now, and I was there yesterday to buy hiking boots for Masen.

It's always been easier for me to talk to men for some reason. Looking back on meeting Angela and Alice, it's safe to say I don't have the same luck with women.

On the other hand, my closest friends in school were girls. Another reason for me to go to the reunion. Forks is my home again, and I'm gonna want some friends.

"I can make friends, can't I, Chance?" I pick out a piece of chicken with all white meat and no dressing, and he bites into it quickly. I smile and pat his head.

"When's Nana done?" Mase asks. "Ant wants to see the mini pig."

"He's so adorable," I tell Anthony, then check the clock above the counter. "She should be finished soon."

"Dad, I was thinking…" Anthony starts saying.

"Sweetheart, we're not buying a pig," Edward replies.

I laugh.

"You did say you'd consider a dog," Anthony points out. When his hair is combed to the side like it is today, he truly looks like a mini adult. "I have done some research, and teacup pigs make very nice pets."

I shouldn't butt in. I certainly want one of those little piglets, but you shouldn't get one because they happen to be cute. They're not easy to handle, and they're definitely not comparable to dogs.

"They eat everything," Edward explains patiently. "I can only imagine your meltdown if a pet pig started chewing on your trains."

Anthony winces and twists his hair.

"Your father's right, honey." I smile gently. "The little one my mom is doing surgery on right now is here for a bowel obstruction. Which means he's swallowed something that won't come out the natural way."

"Lovely," Edward mutters with a grimace.

"That sounds messy." Anthony slumps back, his face paler. "Okay, I would like a dog."

I manage to withhold my laughter this time.

~oOo~

It's thanks to that little pig that Edward and I start texting, though. I'm at the store with Masen after dropping off Chance at home when I scroll through the photos I took of the boys holding the sleepy cuddle monster. I send them to Edward so he can see them, too.

His first response is a thank-you. Then he jokes about not showing the photos to Anthony, who he fears will have forgotten about the bowel obstruction and will want one. Then he admits the pet pig was precious and that he's going to print a couple of the pictures to put on the fridge.

I take the opportunity to thank him again for bringing us lunch. I also add that it was nice to see him. And I hesitate before sending that part. In the end…I want him, don't I? At the very least, I want to see if I'm even on his radar. I'll take it slowly, I tell myself. And remind myself that he really does have a lot going on.

Before I go there, though, I kind of have to fess up about Seattle.

 _Ugh_.

I need to do that regardless. The guilt is weighing heavier lately.

Masen throws a box of cereal into the cart. "Can Ant come with us on Saturday?"

Hmm. Not sure hiking is Anthony's thing, but I can ask. "I'll talk to Edward." In fact, I'll text him right now. I hope he and Anthony are interested. Otherwise, it's just Masen and his friend Riley from soccer, and me and Riley's dad.

I message Edward, telling him about Saturday, while Mase and I pick out some breakfast fruits. He likes bananas with his yogurt, which I hate, and I like blueberries with mine, which he hates.

Edward texts back.

 ** _It's only you and Riley's father, otherwise? And the boys, of course._**

I answer in the affirmative and check out the apples. "Can you grab a few oranges, hon?"

"Yup, yup." Mase walks over and…finds three to juggle with. "Look, Mom!"

"Don't drop them, please," I reply as Edward writes again.

 ** _Count us in. What can we bring?_**

I'm suddenly looking forward to the hike a little more.

~oOo~

"There's that car again." Mase unbuckles his seat belt and is out of our own car before I've killed the engine.

I follow his gaze to the silver Volvo that's the same model as mine. This time, there's a woman unpacking things from the trunk. Two boxes hit the ground before she straightens, and it's enough to realize it's Rose. Holy crap, she's changed.

Her mom mentioned she's just gotten divorced and that she was moving back here after living in Seattle.

She looks so…grown-up. And tired. Her dirty-blond hair is pulled back in a high ponytail, and I'm surprised to see she's wearing flannel underneath her open denim jacket. This is a flannel town, but she was a cheerleader in high school and wore all things pink and sparkles.

She was nice enough to me, but her best friend Tanya was horrible to pretty much everyone.

Stepping out of my car, I join Masen to unload the bags of groceries, and I can't not say hi. There're only a couple cars between us, and if she sees me, it'll be weird.

"Rose?"

She whips to the side, recognition filling her blue eyes. "Oh. Hi, Bella. Mom told me you were back." She smiles ruefully, though there's a softness to it, too. "She mentioned your son, too."

"Of course she did." I quirk a small grin. "How are you?"

She blows out a breath and looks around her. "I'm…" She nods once, her smile growing slightly. "I'm good. Finally."

She's matured. I don't know how I can tell, it's just instinct.

"I heard about your divorce," I admit.

Rose guesses her mom's told everyone.

Meanwhile, Mase is growing impatient, so I hand him the keys so he can go in. He takes two bags.

"Are you just moving in?" I ask, closing my trunk.

Rose nods. "I was here a while ago to look at an apartment. Got the keys the other day." So she must've been here the first time we saw her car. "I take it you and your son live here, too?"

"Yeah. Let me know if you need help with the boxes. I'm off work tomorrow." Perk of not having a full schedule yet. "I'm also pretty good at picking out wine."

She chuckles. "My family's coming over to help me, but I might take you up on the wine. What apartment is yours?"

"24B," I answer and point to the two-story building that's parallel to the residents' parking lot. "Second floor."

"Well, hey." She smirks lazily. "I guess that makes us almost neighbors. 20B."

"That's barely any distance to carry the wine." I laugh softly, feeling hopeful. "I should head in before Masen decides to cook for himself, but it's good seeing you again, Rose."

"You too, Bella." She smiles.

On the way up to my apartment, my phone vibrates in my pocket, and I get this thrill at the possibility of Edward texting me. I mean, it could be him, right? Why not?

I can't even wait until I get home. I set down the bags as I reach the landing on the stairs, and I pull out my phone. Fuck, yes, it's actually him. I click it and…instantly regret giving him my number.

 ** _I've told myself it's none of my business, but I'm sorry, Isabella. I have to ask. Why did you name your son Masen?_**

"Motherfucker," I whisper to myself.

* * *

-cara


	7. Chapter 6

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"Oh, just tell him, Bella," Mom says. "He'll probably find it sweet."

" _I_ find it mortifying." I walk behind the counter at the clinic and check our schedule. I've managed to dodge Edward for a whole thirty-six hours, but he texted this morning to let me know he's "fully aware" I'm avoiding him.

"You're probably not the first student to have a crush on him," Mom reasons. "I thought it was adorable when you named Masen. I'm sure Edward will think the same. And it's not like you feel that way anymore."

Riiight…

I'm saved by the bell when my next patient enters the clinic, a lady and her chinchilla, and Mom has to leave anyway. She's doing house visits to nearby ranches, and that's what she gets for specializing in farm animals too. I hope she'll enjoy shoving her arm up a horse's butt or something.

My day continues with my precious domestic pets and the occasional bird, and I get another text in the afternoon as I'm making myself a snack in the back room. It's more of a storage closet to be honest, but it's where we stashed a microwave.

 ** _If it's truly personal, I apologize for the teasing._**

I sigh. I guess it _is_ personal, but part of me wants to tell the truth just to see how he reacts. If he takes it poorly, it's safe to say I won't think about flirting with him—again.

A text would be easier than telling him face-to-face. However, I'm seeing him first thing in the morning for our hike, which has now grown to include another person. Last night, I had a glass of wine with Rose to catch up, and I invited her along. And isn't that even better? I won't face Edward alone. We'll be with others.

That settles it. I sit down on a cardboard box and nibble on an oatmeal cookie as I spell out the embarrassing truth in a message.

 ** _You were my favorite teacher, and I had a big crush on you. When I found out I was having a boy, Masen was the first name I thought of._**

I bite my lip and press send. It's technically not a lie that I had a crush on him back then. I only omitted to say it's very much still ongoing.

~oOo~

The first thing I do when I wake up the morning after is to check my phone.

Still no answer from Edward.

"Sadist," I yawn.

I'm not going to panic. I kind of did that already last night, and now I'm just going to take it as it comes.

I'm out of the shower and dressed in jeans and a hoodie by eight-fifteen, and then I start preparing our picnic. Masen eats a lot, and he burns through trail mix and fruit like it's nothing.

"Baby, it's time to wake up!" I call, cracking an egg into a pan. Pancakes with peanut butter and chocolate chips for breakfast should keep him satisfied for a few hours. "I need you to take out Chance too!"

Mase usually doesn't sleep in, so I let him have another forty-five minutes while I make sandwiches, a fruit salad, hot chocolate that goes in a thermos, and pack some rice krispie treats and cookies. Then Chance really needs to go out. How he's not trying to escape my son's room by now is weird.

"Mase?" I leave the kitchen, walk down the hall, and knock on his door. "We're meeting the others in half an hour, kiddo. Time to get your butt out of bed."

Not a sound.

"It's too soon for teenage behavior," I point out. "You're usually up before the sun—" The phone rings, cutting me off. I sigh and tell Mase I want him showered and dressed within twenty, then head to the living room for my phone.

It's Riley's dad, Alec.

"Not calling to cancel, are ya?" I answer.

He doesn't find it funny. "Hey, hon. Is Riley there?"

I frown and glance down the hall. "No…?" Suspicion creeps in, and I aim for Mase's room again. I open the door this time and come to an abrupt stop. "What the fuck?" Mase's bed is empty. He's not here, nor is Chance. "Alec, I just checked Mase's room, and both he and our dog are gone. Could they've met up with Riley to wait outside?"

I've discovered our apartment complex is popular for divorcees and single parents, and Alec's ex-wife lives across the yard, while Alec lives in a house nearby. Seeing as they live close, it's entirely possible Mase woke up early and didn't feel the need to wait.

"I've already looked," Alec sighs. "I'm surprised you didn't hear me hollering."

I'm not gonna worry—yet. Mase can come and go as he wishes, within reason, and he's not one to break rules.

"They could be out with Chance," I reason. Back in the living room, I look out the window and bite my nail. "There's a trail behind our building I've told him he's allowed to take." It'll be okay for him to go farther once I've taught him some more about the woods. Providence and Boston—not to mention fishing with my dad—didn't teach him enough to settle my nerves.

"I'll head out again," Alec says. "Mind if I stop by to leave our backpacks?"

"No, of course not. I'll make coffee." I pause. "Riley didn't leave a note, did he?"

"No, that would've prevented me from worrying," he grumbles.

I chuckle, slightly nervous, and tell him to come over.

I'll give Mase an hour, which will probably feel like four. Then I can go justifiably ballistic. He knows we're hiking today and the time we're supposed to meet up.

As I end the call, there's a knock on the door. It's still early, so perhaps it's Rose wanting to borrow something. She mentioned that most of her gear was still in boxes.

Except, it's Edward, and one look at his face says it all.

"Oh no. Anthony's not home?"

Understanding dawns on him, and he exhales sharply. "Masen isn't home, either?"

"Or Riley," I say, opening the door wider. Okay, now I'm irritated. This is unlike Mase—and, I guess, Anthony. Riley's a sweet goofball too. "I just talked to Alec, Riley's dad. He's been out looking for the boys already. I didn't think Anthony would be with them, though. God." Why the hell would they go out _before_ our hike? "I'm gonna go call Emmett." It can't hurt to check in with the police station to see if I have something to worry about.

Edward nods, and I understand why he's more worried than I am. Anthony is younger, smaller, and a lot more timid.

~oOo~

An hour later, it's a full-blown search party, mainly because Emmett says a couple hikers disappeared last night and now we're not taking any chances, and partly because I can't sit here and do nothing. The worry has come out in full force in me too, but we have one good lead, I hope. Alec tells me Riley's been talking about wanting to hike up to the old mill a few miles in the opposite direction of where we planned on going today. Alec also says it's not like Riley to defy him and head out on his own adventure, but we have to give the boy a break. Divorce is rough on children, and kids come up with weird crap.

"Yeah, we're heading out now," I say, trapping the phone between my cheek and shoulder. "Any warnings?"

"Nope, just regular rain. Been some bear sightings, that's all. I've got two guys on your trail within the hour," Emmett tells me. "We're covering the Pacific pass and have a five-mile radius, so they wanted to help you guys."

"I really appreciate it, Emmett." I bend down to tie my boots. "I hope you find the hikers."

We wrap up the call, and then I lock the door behind me to join the others in the yard. Edward and Alec are dressed similarly in cargo pants, windbreakers, and boots. Both of them having shotguns on their backs might be overkill, but at least they're prepared. And Edward can pull off the rugged beanie look—who knew?

Rose and Mom have made it, too.

"We ready?" I shoulder my backpack and do my best not to show I'm starting to freak out. More than that, I'm confused. But at least the old mill isn't near any ravines or rough terrain.

Mom echoes that thought as we walk behind my building and straight into the woods, saying all kids in Forks have gotten into trouble up there. Even me.

"Didn't James take you on your first date to the mill?"

I nod. "Romantic, right?"

Alec snorts. "Did he really?"

"Yes, my first boyfriend was a real charmer." I think back on the picnic he'd brought, complete with two burgers and an old blanket. Back then, he excited me. He was a good guy, yet…not quite.

"Is this Masen's father?" Edward asks with a frown at the ground.

"Sperm donor," Mom corrects. "I emailed him photos of Mase last week. He hasn't responded."

"Don't hold your breath." I'm not bitter about it anymore. I'm not sure I ever was, since my son doesn't seem to be suffering. James has been distant for too long. It's not a new thing.

Conversation stalls as we head up a hill, or, I guess, the beginning of the mountain. The ground is muddy and slick and full of shoeprints. It's a popular trail, though we can't hear or see anyone out today.

I keep my gaze on the ground, hoping I'll see signs of Masen and Chance. Dad was good at hunting, but he never succeeded in teaching me more than the basics. Nature, I love. Identifying paw prints, not so much. Plenty of deer in the area, though.

Alec seems to be sharing my line of thinking by watching the ground, and he mentions a lot of deer recently passed in a hurry. He points at the prints and how they've skidded through the mud.

"Do you hunt?" I ask.

"Doesn't everyone around here?" He smirks and side-eyes me.

"Maybe." I manage a small smile, too nervous to do much else. I feel like I have to keep up some kind of conversation, though. Otherwise, I'll lose my mind.

Falling behind a bit, I wait for Edward. Mom and Rose are discussing where we can go if we don't find the boys at the mill, and I don't want to think about that.

"Are you as anxious as I am?" I ask him. It's strange seeing him his way. He's unzipped the windbreaker to reveal a hoodie, then the beanie is just throwing me off, and those pants and boots instead of slacks…it's messing with me. The glasses are still there, and his furrowed brow is all sorts of teachery.

He inclines his head, then glances over his shoulder. "I'm not entirely certain they've gone this way. Ant leaves a trail whenever we're out. He's…very peculiar about safety."

My stomach tightens, and I look around me. I have to get my shit together. Dad's voice grows louder in my head. I should listen to him, but I'm afraid something could actually be wrong here. Up until…now, in a way…I've had this fixed idea that the boys just wandered out for no good reason and lost track of time.

"Isabella?" There's concern in Edward's voice, and I realize I've come to a stop.

"They're fine," I say, needing to hear it. Then I nod and blow out a breath. They're fine. Inhaling slowly through my nose, I close my eyes and force myself to push down the anxiousness.

 _It's so quiet._

I frown and open my eyes at that thought. It _is_ quiet. Too quiet. There should be birds chirping.

"Could be a predator nearby," I say quietly.

Edward cocks his head, concentrating. He doesn't hunt, I know that much, but I remember he used to enjoy tracking for sport. Same with trapshooting and fly-fishing.

"No birds," he murmurs.

"If Chance is around here, he'll go into protector mode." I know he wouldn't be quiet, that's for sure. "If they're not at the mill, where the hell would they go?"

"I have no idea." He sighs quietly and looks back to where the others are going some thirty feet ahead of us. "We'll check it out—"

"Help!"

It's faint, but we both hear the boy's voice, and our heads whip in the same direction. They've veered off the trail and into the woods, and I start walking before I even realize it. Edward summons the others, then jogs to catch up with me.

"Where are you?" I call, cupping my hand around my mouth.

"Help!"

 _Anthony._

"Fuck." Edward picks up the pace, and I'm quick to follow until we're running side by side between the trees. "Keep talking, Anthony! We're coming!" We duck for branches and jump over rocks, and I bet his heart is hammering like mine is.

"Dad! By the river!" Anthony's voice gets easier to hear, but the relief won't crash into me. Not until I know they're all safe. "There's a bear!"

"Shit," I pant.

We change direction slightly, still seeing no sign of the boys. We have only his voice to go on.

"Are you with Masen and Riley, son?" Edward calls.

"Yes! Over here! Please come faster, Dad!"

"Keep making sounds and stand together!" I yell. I assume it's a black bear. Grizzlies are rare in this area, and black bears have more of a temper. It's in the middle of summer, though. I can only guess they've intercepted and somehow gotten between a female and her cubs. Nothing else would make sense.

Why isn't Mase calling for help? Or Riley?

Why the _fuck_ isn't Chance barking?

Edward loses some speed as he readies his shotgun, so I'm the first to burst through the thick vegetation and come to a screeching halt in a small clearing. With my heart in my throat and my lungs burning, I register Masen on the ground next to a dog—wait. Two dogs? Chance and another one with a red-brown coat. I hear Chance's low whining, indicating he's been hurt.

"Mom," Masen chokes out. Oh God, he's got blood all over his jeans. Panic rises.

Anthony and Riley stand slightly in front of Masen and the dogs, and they face me with terror in their eyes.

Tears run down Anthony's cheeks. "I'm scared, Bella. I've read that I'm supposed to look big, but I'm not big."

"It's okay, honey. You're so brave." I eye the black bear briefly. She gets up on two legs and roars, standing in the tree line about twenty feet away from the boys. As much as it fills me with fear, I have to take up space. I bring forth the fuzzy memories of Dad teaching me about the wilderness, and I stalk toward Anthony with purpose.

Thank fuck, Edward breaks through the trees right behind me, and I flinch as he fires the shotgun into the air. _He's got it handled_. That thought catapults me forward, and I swoop up Anthony, drag Riley with me, then hurry over to Masen and the pups.

"What happened?" With Anthony clinging tightly to me, I cup Masen's face to check for injuries. "Are you hurt?"

"No, him. The bear—Chance attacked because-because, and the other dog was down." He stammers and struggles against tears, and I don't understand what he's saying, but it doesn't matter. Masen is unharmed, Anthony is unharmed, Riley is unharmed. I turn my focus to Chance and see wounds on his nose and back legs. "You have to help them, Mom."

"She's gone," Edward says tightly, presumably about the bear. Next thing I know, Anthony's out of my embrace, and I can better access Chance. "Jesus fucking Christ, son." Edward breathes deeply and hugs the crap out of Anthony. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

I shut them out and shrug off my backpack, locating my knife. Then I remove my hoodie and cut up the fabric to create a bandage from the sleeves. Gently cupping Chance's face, I prod at the wound, and I'm thankful it's just a flesh wound.

In my periphery, I spy Edward pulling Masen close, too. "Can you tell me what happened, buddy?" I hear him ask Mase quietly.

"You'll be fine," I whisper to Chance.

"The bear was attacking the other d-dog," Masen replies, breathing heavily. "Chance jumped on the bear when we ran in here, and the b-bear backed off a little."

Alec's frantic voice lets me know he's arrived, and Mom and Rose are next. I hurry up and dress Chance's wounds, neither of them spilling much blood at this point. Either way, it's enough for me to give the other dog my focus, and this one makes me feel helpless.

I lean down and check his breathing, and it's barely there.

Mom kneels down on the other side of the dog. "Oh, heavens."

I swallow hard. "Maybe we can—"

"Bella," she whispers.

Yeah, I know. Blood pulses out of the deep cut in his neck. The wheezing sounds pain me. His tongue has turned blue. One large wound across his side reveals an exposed rib, and there's just too much blood loss. Combined with the organ stress and severe respiratory problems, it's a wonder he's still alive.

"I'm sorry, pup." I stroke his head gently while Mom calls for Edward.

"Is he…" Edward's voice trails off, and he gives the dog a troubled look.

"I don't suppose you carry anything," I say quietly to Mom. Anything to ease the dog's pain.

Mom shakes her head sadly and inspects the dog's trachea with gentle pressure. The blood won't stop.

Edward squats down next to me, and if I'd been in another mind-set, I would've been shocked when he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "I'll take care of it."

I nod and wipe my bloodied hands on my thighs. Then I rise up and gather the boys so we can leave the clearing.

"Is he gonna be okay, Mom?" Masen asks worriedly, sniffling. "I tried to stop the bleeding."

I kiss his temple, glad Rose is following me with Riley. At a final glance back, I see Mom taking care of Chance, encouraging him to use his legs.

"The dog is suffering, isn't he?" Anthony mumbles.

Edward's shotgun goes off, the sound cracking between the trees like thunder.

"Let's get you boys home," I whisper thickly.

~oOo~

I step out of the shower, numb, tired, and finally free of bloodstains. Wiping a hand across the mirror, I stare at my reflection for a beat before avoiding it. I rub lotion into my skin and try to block the images of the day. The memories, the retelling, the aftermath.

The dog had belonged to the missing hikers, who've been found. Their Irish Setter had run off, and the hikers had left their trail to follow but had gotten lost sometime yesterday. Emmett said they'd been far off, several miles into the woods. But they're okay, albeit shook up.

Alec and Edward delivered the news of their dog since we had to report it, and we couldn't just leave the pup out there.

After that, we all went home separately—for a moment, anyway. Masen's been inconsolable for hours, and Edward texted earlier this afternoon with the same for Anthony. So we decided to get together with movies and comfort food. Mom's here, too.

Like me, the boys have taken more than one shower. And I'm not sure what to do about little Anthony. Masen processes things outwardly; he cries, expresses his anger, and gets visibly upset. Anthony goes through the processing internally, and he's been quiet most of the late afternoon and early evening.

Edward says it's normal for him.

Pulling on a pair of pajama shorts and one of my dad's old T-shirts, I exit the bathroom and find Edward in the middle of the couch, the boys on either side of him, and blankets everywhere.

The left corner of my mouth turns up a little.

Masen and Anthony are watching the Ninja Turtles movie, eyes drooping here and there. Yet, they insist they're not ready to sleep.

I continue to the kitchen where Mom is putting away dishes and wiping down the counter.

"Rose called while you were in the shower," she murmurs. "She just left Alec and Riley's place."

"Oh, okay." I'll have to call her tomorrow. Rose got upset when seeing Emmett at the station; they used to date in high school, and evidently, it didn't end well. I don't know the details, and she shies away from the topic. "Did she happen to tell you how Riley's doing?" Much like Anthony, Riley shut down as we left the woods.

"He's feeling better, thankfully. He was falling asleep as Rose left."

I nod in acknowledgment and peer into the living room. Edward's brushing some hair away from Masen's forehead, and the sight melts something in me.

"Are you talking to the boys tomorrow?" Mom wonders. "I'd like to know how they ended up out there."

"Yeah, we decided to wait until then." Today hasn't been the day to get all the information. They've been too upset.

Mom understands and tells me to call her tomorrow. She wants to know everything. For now, she's tired and says it's time to go home.

She's taking Chance with her so she can keep him under observation, which I admit is a relief. Then I can focus more on Masen and Anthony.

I follow her out, and she says goodbye to Edward.

"Take care, Renee." He offers a polite smile.

When it's just Edward, me, and the boys, I feel almost ready to relax on the couch. Or the chair, I guess. Those three are spreading out. But first, I'm gonna make Masen's bed and put our bloodied clothes in the washer.

"You need to rest, Isabella."

"In a minute." I manage a tired grin.

In Masen's room, I clear his sheets and put on new ones. Next, I unzip the backpack he, for some reason, brought with him today. I shake my head, wondering what the hell they had planned.

"What in the…" I furrow my brow, revealing something rusty and old in the backpack. It almost doesn't fit into the bag, and I have to push down the sides to get the box out of it.

The backpack lands on the floor, and I hold up the big metal box, turning it in my hands. He must've found this somewhere. Christ, boys bring home the weirdest shit, like something you'll need a tetanus shot before touching.

Setting the box down on Mase's desk, I brush away some filth covering the rusty surface. Great. Now I'll need to vacuum in here, too.

Whatever this box is, it's been buried— "Class of…" I read out loud, only to trail off as realization dawns on me. "Holy shit." I stand up straight, my spine rigid. This is one of the Secret & Wishes time capsules from Forks High. More than that… "Holy _shit_." It's my graduating class's box.

* * *

-cara


	8. Chapter 7

_I was supposed to post this yesterday, but then I got drunk._

 _Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"Masen?" I call, leaving his room. I can't take my eyes off the old metal box.

"M'not sleepy yet," is his reply.

"Where did you find this?" I reach the living room where two boys are half asleep and leaning on Edward, who's in the middle of the couch. "Mase. Look alive, please. Where did you get this box?"

Edward frowns, then quirks a brow at the box.

Masen yawns and sits up straighter. "Um. Oh. I found it in the woods. Cool, right?"

That's not the word I'd use.

By now, Edward realizes what it is. "What year is it from?"

"It's my graduating class's," I sigh. Wanting to discuss this further without the boys around, I kind of go around Edward and tell Masen and Anthony they're having a sleepover in my son's room. Through yawns and sleepy grins, they're definitely on board, and I wait until they've gone to brush their teeth. "Show Anthony where we have an extra toothbrush, hon," I tell Masen.

He nods and leads the way.

There's a moment of uncomfortable silence once it's just Edward and me, and I'm unsure of what to say. Once upon a time, I put a secret in this box stating I was pregnant. Even though I fully believe most secrets and wishes are less significant ten years later, it's nothing I can know for certain.

"The janitor was supposed to bury these on school grounds, wasn't he?" I look to him for answers. Hell if I know what to do here.

"He never did." Edward clears his throat and stands up, brow furrowed. "When the faculty got involved in the tradition, students tried to find the boxes during breaks. I was under the impression the boxes were destroyed, to be honest."

That's been my suspicion, too. There're enough rumors about it.

"Well…" I hesitate, then walk forward and extend the box to him. "You're the teacher. You decide what to do with it."

He accepts it with a wry little smirk, and I brush the dirt off my hands.

"Do the teachers ever read the notes?" I ask. They're not supposed to, but…you know.

"It's… It's happened, I won't deny that." He settles for leaving the box next to the hall table by the door. "This might sound insensitive, but I never had the interest in knowing what students put in those notes, so I haven't read any. It was Kate's first year monitoring the seniors when you graduated, though. She's admitted to reading a few." As he speaks, I motion to the kitchen where I put on a fresh pot of coffee and dig out some cookies that we never ate today. "As you may remember, she was in the other classroom. Her share of the students left their notes in an envelope that she gave to me later. I just dropped the envelope in the box and handed it over to the janitor."

"Are you gonna do that with this one?" I wonder.

He waits to answer, thinking about it as I take the cookies from the microwave and put them on a plate.

"Perhaps I should destroy the notes," he sighs, glancing out at the entryway. At the box. "The lock is gone."

Oh. I hadn't noticed—or thought of that.

Did Masen somehow get it open?

"Can you imagine if I brought it to the reunion?" I joke.

Edward snorts, and we carry our coffee back to the living room. He takes one end of the couch, and I take the other, setting the plate on the table.

"Hey, are you okay? About everything that happened today, I mean." I feel bad for not asking sooner. He's showed his concern since we got back.

He inclines his head and takes a sip of his coffee. "I'm all right, thank you. It's never easy—as I'm sure you know in your profession—but…"

I nod. No one wants an animal to suffer.

"I'm glad you're here," I admit. "I'm also kinda glad I made a decision about the boys' sleepover without asking you first." I smile sheepishly at his chuckle. "Sometimes I keep my cool, sometimes I don't. I feel better having a full house tonight." I don't wanna freak him out by saying I'm already attached to Anthony and love having him around.

"Perfectly understandable, dear," he murmurs. "It certainly beats being home—"

"Mom?" Masen calls from his bedroom. "Can we watch TV before bed?"

Cocking my head, I listen to the familiar sounds of a TV show he loves. Why ask if they're already watching? I shake my head in amusement to myself.

"For a little bit," I answer. "Edward and I will be in to say goodnight soon."

If only Edward would spend the night here, too…

I've run out of things to say, and I have to make a conscious effort not to stare at him. He looks at ease here. After showering at home, he showed up in sweats and a hoodie from where he went to college. The faint lines on his forehead smooth out as he exhales and leans back to get more comfortable.

"What a fucking day," he sighs.

I purse my lips, tickled by his use of swear words. Usually so proper and polite, he manages to catch me off guard sometimes when he gets more casual.

I couldn't have put it any better, either. This isn't how a regular hike would go.

"I hope they won't have nightmares," I say quietly. "They must have stood up against the bear for a while."

"Almost two hours." He scrubs a hand down his face and stifles a yawn. "Ant word-vomited when I gave him a bath earlier."

"Oh?" I set down my coffee and pull up my legs, ready to hear what he has to say. Now that the day is settling, I'm itching to get all my facts straight.

Edward follows suit and sets down his mug, then leans back again. "We'll ask them the rest tomorrow, but from my understanding, they met up earlier because grown-ups sleep _forever_ , so they decided to walk Chance." That sounds like something Masen would say, too. "They were just behind your building when Chance took off, running straight into the forest."

Chance must've heard the other dog or something.

"I'm confused about the time in between them following Chance and how they ended up in the clearing," he goes on. "Anthony was upset—he rambled about getting lost and Chance coming back to round them up. There was something about Masen fetching his backpack before they went into the woods, too." He shakes his head, things not adding up. "Regardless, when they eventually made it to the clearing, the bear was all over the setter, so Chance tried to defend him."

I can sort of do the rest of the math myself. Once the boys got there, it makes sense that the bear backed off. It's so rare that they attack humans, but children—despite that there were three—are smaller. It would be enough to keep the bear nearby, yet not charging.

I shudder at the thought of how frightening it must've been for them. And still, they stood their ground for that long. It's entirely possible the bear had cubs nearby too; maybe the Irish setter got in the way somehow, and so the mother wouldn't leave.

"The look on Anthony's face…" I shake my head and struggle to get the image away from the forefront of my mind. He was so scared.

Edward releases a breath. "I know one who will have nightmares, anyway."

Yeah, same here.

"Have you talked to Kate about it?" I ask.

He lets out a dry chuckle, which sounds more like a huff. "That would be a stretch. I called her, and I think she stopped listening once I said he was okay." He pauses. "Sometimes it's difficult to comprehend she and Charlie were related."

"Only sometimes?" I lift a brow at him.

He concedes with a soft laugh. "Touché."

I debate whether or not to take it further, but I guess I can't help myself. "You were with her for twenty-two years, though. She must've had some redeeming qualities." To be fair, she was never outright rude to me. It was just her frosty personality, which makes them having a child together a mystery. I still struggle to see her wanting kids. Well…I guess she doesn't.

"Twenty-two years," he echoes, then mutters, "Jesus." Yeah, that's not a brief fling. "Can I say that, though? We got stuck in the average rut after about five years, and I'm not sure we ever escaped it. The past twelve years, we've alternated between being fairly solid, albeit stagnant, to discussing divorce. We've been separated twice already."

"I didn't know that." I frown.

He shakes his head. "We haven't taken any of it seriously. I stayed with Carlisle and Esme one summer, but I can't say I was worried. I knew I'd be back here."

I hum, side-eyeing him. "What makes this time different?"

"A combination of things. Ant plays a big part. I don't want him in a toxic environment with two parents who barely care for one another." He lolls his head along the back of the couch and faces me with an unreadable expression. It makes me nervous for some reason. "The last times we separated, things weren't irreparable."

"What do you mean?"

He doesn't answer right away, instead watching me silently, as if deciding what to say. Or if to say anything at all. His jaw ticks underneath his five o'clock shadow, and his gaze is too severe. I have to busy myself with taking a sip of my coffee.

As I set down the cup again, he responds.

"I was unfaithful to her."

 _Oh, shit. Yeah, you were._

I swallow and force myself to face him. So he wasn't with me during one of these separations.

"Then she was unfaithful to me."

"My God," I mumble, looking down at my lap. Thank fuck the lights are dimmed low because my cheeks are on fire.

He takes a breath. "Isabella—"

"Dad!" Anthony calls, and a breath gusts right out of me. It deflates the tension and allows me to relax, if only a little. "Are you gonna say goodnight?"

"Right." Edward clears his throat and sits up straight, then hauls himself off the couch. "We'll right there, buddy." He jerks his chin for me to follow him. "Come on, Mommy."

I relax further and manage a grin as I rise from the couch. "On my way." I pause, amused, yet hesitating. I take on a flirty tone to continue, but I guess I'm really pushing this. At some point, I'm going to shoot myself in the foot. "Daddy."

Edward narrows his eyes at me over his shoulder but eventually shakes it off. It wouldn't surprise me if his mind went to the gutter—as it's supposed to—for a second. But I know more about him than he knows about me on this subject, so it makes sense that he brushes it off as a Mommy/Daddy banter. Tit for tat.

He stops in the dark hallway outside Masen's room, and something makes him chuckle under his breath. I give him a curious look, to which he nods at the door and motions me to be quiet.

I move closer and tilt my head at the door, listening.

"…maybe, but I don't know," Anthony's saying thoughtfully. "I don't think my dad has ever kissed anyone."

I cover my mouth—and my giggle—with my hand.

Edward keeps his voice low. "Masen speculated about whether or not we were kissing on the couch."

Ugh, I wish. Edward's expression is too casual for my liking. It's as if the idea of us kissing is only funny, and there couldn't possibly be any reality or truth to it.

"Good, because that's gross," Masen replies. "I saw my parents kissing a few times, but they usually just fought."

I wince. No matter how much I've tried to shield him from certain things… Kids are too damn alert.

"Mine preferred to ignore each other," Anthony muttered. "I like it this way better, even though Dad isn't very good at cooking."

Edward rests the side of his head against the wall, his eyes showing both mirth and melancholy. Doesn't matter how much better off we are without exes or exes-to-be, we don't want our kids to get in the middle and end up hurt.

"Dad has nothing against my affection for trains, either," Anthony says on a brighter note.

Unable to help it, I reach out and give Edward's hand a squeeze. Anthony's lucky to have such a good dad.

"You're raising an extraordinary little adult," I whisper.

He smiles softly and squeezes back. "He's a geek like me."

I grin. "Geeks rock."

"They do." He brushes his thumb over the top of my hand, and it sends a shiver down my spine. "You were always a favorite, Isabella. I knew you were going places."

Despite the praise that makes me heat up, the twist of my lips is wry. "I came back here."

He nods with a dip of his chin and looks down at our hands. "With a career you've worked hard to achieve and a fantastic boy."

I shiver again, wondering if the tension is only in my head, that it's just wishful thinking he could want…something.

"We should—We should say goodnight to the boys." Is it with reluctance he releases my hand, or is that wishful thinking, too? Fuck, I'm an idiot. I've picked the worst time to let my ancient crush evolve and make me long for something that probably doesn't exist.

"Yeah." I nod and twist the doorknob, relieved to get away from the intensity of his gaze. It's in my head, I'm sure of it now.

Masen is half asleep, head on his pillow, while Anthony is sitting up in bed and watching a comedy on Netflix. He blinks sleepily and smiles as we enter.

Masen's let him borrow a T-shirt that's a few sizes too large on Anthony's frame. They're both too cute.

"Caught a second wind, buddy?" Edward walks over and sits down on the edge of the bed.

Anthony nods. "This is a funny movie."

Meanwhile, I squat down by Masen and brush some hair away from his face. His eyelids flutter open.

I lean forward and kiss his forehead. "Are you okay with sharing or should I bring out the spare mattress?"

"This is fine," he yawns. "Ant is small anyway."

Anthony protests. "I'm average height and weight for my age, Masen. Dad and I check every six months."

Masen and I exchange a smirk.

"Do you want us to leave the door open?" Edward asks Anthony. "It's been a rough day."

"A smidgen," Anthony decides.

"You were so brave today," I tell them both.

"Very much," Edward agrees and gives Masen's foot a squeeze. "We're proud of how you handled the situation."

"And you're totally grounded," I add.

Edward nods. "For giving us heart palpitations."

"That's stupid," Mase grumbles into his pillow. "We're heroes."

I laugh softly, having a feeling he'll be just fine.

"I wouldn't call myself a hero, but I'm siding with Masen here," Anthony says with a frown. "I've never been grounded before, Dad."

"There's a first time for everything, son." Edward gives Anthony a kiss, then stands up, and I wish them a good night with hugs.

I think it's clear by now that I don't want Edward to leave, so I suggest another cup of coffee even though it's nearing midnight.

"I won't say no to one more," he replies. "I couldn't help but notice the plate of cookies too."

I snicker and refill our mugs in the kitchen while he takes a seat on the couch again.

"They're not for show, you know. Dig in." I bring the mugs back, noticing he's not as restricted to the end of the couch this time. Well, I'm not gonna cower in my corner then either. I leave enough space for one person between us—if that person is kind of small.

"I've been meaning to tell you. I'm glad Ant's grown so close to Masen." Edward dips a cookie in his coffee. "It's rare for him to connect with kids his age. Or thereabouts."

"I know that feeling." It took me a while to gain friends in high school because no one took me seriously, being two years younger than most of them. Then they learned I was ahead for a reason, and they couldn't place me. "Either I was the nerd who outsmarted my classmates and unconsciously made them feel dumb, or I was the kid. Guess what, the kid _never_ gets invited to parties."

He chuckles quietly and sips his coffee. "I remember when you befriended Alice. You were so relieved."

I smile at the memory. From that day on, no more sitting alone at lunch.

"It's difficult to grasp how you started dating James," he admits. "You two were night and day."

That was the point, I guess. He shook me up with unpredictability and showed me things that made me nervous, and I calmed him down, helped him with school, and brought him and his parents closer. His mom and dad had been disappointed in his partying and bad grades, creating tension and arguments.

I explain it to Edward, then add how I'd evidently awoken a competitive student in James who thirsted for power and success.

"At the expense of his relationship with Masen." Edward shakes his head.

I lift a shoulder in a shrug. I'm not gonna get into how relieved I am about that today. The way I see it, better now than in a few years when Masen will really need a male role model. And "now" isn't accurate. James has been fading out for a long time.

"I used to worry about it a lot," I say pensively, "but since moving back home, I've relaxed more. He'll have Mom and me, he'll make more friends, he'll have Carlisle closer, then teachers…" I side-eye Edward and bite my lip, ultimately going for teasing. "And hopefully this neighbor of his who's all kinds of smart."

He smirks faintly, only to grow more sincere. "It would be my honor. Besides, he'll be my student in a few years. If I can get him to like me now, perhaps he won't hate me as much when he learns how strict I am in class."

Ungh, I don't need that image in my head now. Not to mention the memories it brings back. I remember Edward being strict and demanding, though he's as generous with praise when his students make an effort.

"I'm sure he'll like you as much as I did," I say.

He lifts a brow and tilts his head slightly. "You think he'll crush on me, too?"

I drop my jaw. I can't believe he went there! "Oh God." I smack my palms to my face and keep them there, the mortification swallowing me. "I forgot I confessed that. Oh God."

Edward clearly finds my misery entertaining.

"You're freaking evil," I accuse.

That only makes him laugh more. "Sweet Isabella, you can't take this away from me. It made my day to know you were infatuated with me."

"I can't believe you." I turn my head away from him and comb down my hair, just then remembering it's still not long enough. Goddammit. "I'm so glad my embarrassment is funny to you."

"Aw." Down to chuckles, he squeezes my knee gently, but it doesn't matter. I'm wearing shorts, so it's skin on skin, and it's all it takes to derail my thoughts. _Bastard!_ "I wish you'd see it as a compliment instead. You always had the brilliance, dear. I loved teaching you because you gave back. You're the reason teachers love their jobs. To know I was special to you—of course it's flattering."

"Oh, whatever." I face him reluctantly with a scowl on my face, and I curse him for having a way with words. It would've been a hundred shades of wrong if he'd felt anything remotely similar when I was only fifteen, so what he did say is sort of the best alternative. He likes that he was special to me, and in his own, appropriate way, I was special to him too. I can't ask for more than that.

"Don't give me that sour look." The amusement lingers in his eyes as he reaches up and smooths out the point between my eyebrows. "You are far too beautiful for that."

He thinks I'm beautiful?

When his fingers drop and he carefully ghosts his knuckles down my cheek, there's no fucking way it's all in my head. A ball of nerves explodes inside of me and tightens my stomach, and I suck in a breath, caught in his unreadable gaze.

It frustrates me not to know what he's thinking.

Do I stand a chance or not? Should I go for it?

"I—I should probably go." Oh, fuck no. Him saying that…first of all, the _irony_ , and no, it's got to be the last thing I want to hear. "It's getting late."

 _Nooo._

* * *

-cara


	9. Chapter 8

_I'll be offline this weekend to finish the last two chapters, and once I get the last batch of chapters back from Lisa, I'll post a couple a day until it's all done. :)  
_

 _Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"So he just left?" Rose asks incredulously.

"He just left." I nod and sip my cocktail through the straw. "I was so friggin' frustrated."

She snorts and flips her hair over her shoulder. "I probably would've kissed him. He clearly wants you."

I'm still not sure. I'm not convinced he doesn't; I'm not blind to the signs, but if he's not… "It would get too awkward if he doesn't. Our boys are thick as thieves."

God, it feels good to talk about this. It's been a crappy week since Edward left my apartment with all that tension around us. And I see him _every_ day. Often because Masen and Anthony are playing, or they're meeting up with Riley, and Edward and I pick up our sons from Riley's mom at the same time. Or when I'm at work and Edward's bored and showing up with lunch. Or in passing since we live so close.

"Can I get you another drink, ladies?" The bartender stops in our corner to refill the peanut bowls.

The pizzeria isn't new in Forks, but the part where it's also a bar is. I didn't know about it until Rose suggested we go out for drinks tonight.

"Same for me, thank you." I smile politely.

Rose orders another GT before excusing herself to go to the bathroom. It gives me time to people watch, and I'm as relieved as I am disappointed Edward hasn't shown up yet. Carlisle's in town, and the two made plans to head out for a beer, according to Mom. Again, I get to hear about Edward's personal life from someone else. Mom and Carlisle talked, and she told me when I asked her to watch Masen.

I guess that means Anthony is with Aunt Kate.

"Here you go, hon."

I face the bar again and pay for my drink. While Edward isn't here, several others are, and I don't feel like catching up with old schoolmates at the moment. They're mostly jocks, anyway. Mike and a few of his friends are huddled around the pool table, while a handful are occupying the other end of the bar where there's a drunken dart competition going on. Smaller groups of people fill the six or seven tables, and there's always someone by the jukebox.

When Rose returns, she takes a swig of her drink, then launches right back into the conversation. "I forgot to ask. Has he been acting differently this week?"

"Not really." I think about it, specifically the morning after when we sat the kids down and hashed out everything that went down on Saturday. "Maybe he's a little more formal?" Formal's the wrong word, but…less casual. Although, that could've been the leftover worry from the bear encounter.

The boys had just been walking Chance, as we knew, when crap went downhill. And before chasing after Chance, Masen had run up to grab his backpack, where he'd had "some stuff." A Nintendo, a kitchen knife he definitely didn't have permission to borrow, and waste bags for Chance.

The boy needs some serious education on what to bring on a hike.

"Interesting." Rose hums and taps her chin, grinning slightly. "Edward Cullen… It's still a surprise to know you're into him."

Oh, here we go. She's been saying this since I told her the other day. She literally squeaked when I said I'd crushed on him in school. But I just had to tell _someone_. And I've grown closer to Rose lately. I have to admit I like her. She's nothing like the popular cheerleader she was in high school.

"Come on, Bella," she chuckles. "Even you have to admit it's strange. Back in the day, we all said your _uncle_ was your teacher."

I wince and drain half my drink, only to cough. It's not the type of drink to guzzle. "I definitely never felt like he was my uncle."

Rose shrugs lightly. "It's your aunt he's divorcing, isn't it?"

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

"Let's talk about you instead." I grin and place my chin in my palm, elbow resting on the somewhat nonsticky bartop. "Masen told me when we had dinner last night that _Riley_ says you visit his dad's sometimes."

She sits up straighter, clearly not having seen that coming. "Alec and I have coffee sometimes. That's it."

"Uh-huh." I smile smugly. "Coffee. I know how that works. It was how I tried to get Edward to stick around. Only, it didn't work on him."

She laughs, blue eyes sparkling. It's a far cry from the tired-looking woman who moved in next door. Much like me, she's made an effort to reconnect with people from school, and she's had lunch with Jessica and Alice so far. Maybe the results weren't what she hoped they'd be, but we're both trying. I'm still gravitating toward guys; I met up with Emmett after work the other day, and that was nice. He's a funny guy. He's the one who's in touch with most people from our childhoods. Emmett never really left.

He's also the only one I can't discuss with Rose, and it's starting to bug me. Something must've happened between them at some point. Rose gets upset when he's mentioned, and Emmett's signature grin was wiped off his face when I told him I'd connected with Rose since moving back.

I'd venture to guess they were together, but Rose had been with Royce for as long as…well, until recently.

"Okay, we slept together," Rose confesses in a rush.

My gaze snaps to hers, and at first, I think she's talking about Emmett. Then I replay our conversation and realize she's referring to Alec. And, holy shit.

"You slept with Riley's dad?" I can't hide my surprise.

"Keep your voice down," she hisses. Oops, I didn't know I'd raised my voice. "It's just casual. It's like the entire town is going through a divorce epidemic. We don't want anything serious."

Yeah, there really are divorces everywhere you look.

"He seems sweet, though," I say. "You never know about the future."

She tries to hide her smile. "Shut up."

I chuckle and take another sip of my drink.

Moments later, Jasper and Ben show up, and we exchange nods and brief greetings while they order beers. They're here to hang out with their buddies, so it's soon just Rose and me in our corner again.

New drinks are ordered, and I receive a text after paying for mine.

It's from Edward.

 ** _How's the bar?_**

Not as fun without him, I want to say.

 ** _Like a class reunion with less catching up. I thought you'd be here._**

"Who are you texting?" Rose teases.

"My not-uncle."

She finds that funny.

Edward's reply is decidedly _not_ funny.

 ** _Renee invited us over for dinner and drinks. Masen just beat me in Battleship, and now he's being sent to bed so the grown-ups can break into the whiskey bottle._**

As sweet as I think it is that he enjoys spending time with Mase, it's deflating to realize Edward is more likely to see my mom as a friend than me. They're closer in age and have friends in common.

 ** _Nice. Have fun sipping whiskey with Carlisle and my mom._**

I turn my phone to silent—and no vibrations—and slip it into the pocket of my too tight skinny jeans. My shiny purple top with plenty of cleavage is going to complete waste in this place.

My third drink disappears in a minute.

"Whoa, there." Rose raises a brow. "You okay, hon?"

"Yeah." I wave it off and slide off my stool. "Order me a new one? I'm gonna go to the bathroom, and then we're gonna socialize."

~oOo~

Alcohol is my friend. I have to remember that.

"Okay, Bella's on my team next round," Mike declares.

I laugh and shake my head, happy to play on Jasper and Ben's team. Handing over the pool cue, I move over to the wall where Rose is holding our drinks and chatting with Eric and his little brother.

"Can I just say how much you've changed, Bella?" Eric hollers over the music.

"I know, right? She was the baby in our class." Rose grins and gives my cheek a smacking kiss. "Now she's Isabella Swan, DVM. Gorgeous, too."

I snort into my glass and elbow her slightly, a bit embarrassed by the attention.

"No argument from me." Eric smirks lazily.

They're crazy. I wave them off and finish my drink. "Are we gonna play again or—" A commotion cuts me off, quickly followed by a handful of the guys hollering, "Hey, Mr. Cullen!"

It makes me spin around, and my heart sort of gets caught in my throat. Edward's here. He smiles politely, albeit stiffly, and walks closer.

"Evening, everyone." He nods at the guys before facing me. "This is why I prefer to go elsewhere on weekends. The majority of the crowd here is former students still referring to me as Mr. Cullen."

I grin, wanting to hump his leg.

Some of the guys chuckle, and Ben speaks up in his drunken defense, "Hey, you're just a colleague to me."

"Me too," someone else says. I guess he's a teacher as well.

"Sometimes you're Mr. Cullen to me," I admit. Edward lifts his brow in surprise, so I shrug. "It's your fault—when you use that grown-up voice."

That causes his eyes to flash with amusement, and I get laughter from Rose and a few others.

What I failed to mention was how hot those moments are. When he gets all strict, I want to kneel and suck—er, do stuff. I want to do stuff. My cheeks flame, and I move to finish my drink, which of course is empty already.

Damn.

"Oh, good, you're finished." Edward steps even closer and takes my glass. "I worried I'd be interrupting something, but you're ready to go home, yes?"

Uh. I don't know, am I? I'm having a good time. It's not very late, either. Ten-thirty is nothing!

Edward stares at me expectantly.

I scrunch my nose. Am I missing something here?

"Psst." Rose leans in and speaks quietly for only me to hear. "Maybe he wants you alone. Go get some, girl."

I highly doubt that's it, but…well, if there's a chance…

"I guess so." I nod and turn around, running a hand through my hair. "Okay, I'm gonna go. _Mr. Cullen_ and I have important kid business." It's the best excuse I can come up with.

"You aiming for a better grade?" Jasper guesses with a smirk.

I arch a brow, then stand up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. "I had straight As, hon. But thanks." I pat his cheek playfully before grabbing my clutch from the nearest table.

"She got you there, man," Ben tells Jasper.

Jasper merely chuckles.

After five minutes of goodbyes and phone numbers exchanged with old classmates, I exit the bar with Edward, and I shrug on my cardigan. But I don't close it because, cleavage.

The town is quiet, the streets dark, and the air a little chilly. Once on the other side of the street, we fall into a comfortable silence, one I know will linger until we get to our apartment complex. Unless I say something.

"I didn't know I had a curfew." That's a good place to start, I think.

"You don't." He seems to be struggling with something, hands in his pockets, eyes on the asphalt. "Kate messaged me," he admits. "She was supposed to have Ant over the weekend, but she told me she dropped him off at Seth's house. A friend of his."

"Okay…" I'm not following. Other than knowing I really wanna confront Kate sometimes. In the weeks since I've been back, she has barely seen Anthony. And the one weekend he's with her, she hands him over to a friend? Christ.

"So she could go out with the friend she's currently staying with," he adds. "The only place I can think of is the bar."

Ah. Well, now I'm glad he came to get me. I wouldn't want to run into her tonight.

"Is Anthony okay?" I ask.

"He is now," he sighs, side-eyeing me. With a frown, he removes his sport coat. His look tells me not to argue, and then I'm wrapped in his delicious scent. "He was a bit upset at first, but Sue—Seth's mother—cheered him up, and I promised to pick him up early tomorrow morning."

I shake my head, irritated. I'm also getting wary of how much I care for Anthony. My first instinct is to jump in and protect, and I don't have that right. I've known him a few weeks. Kate has been his mother for eight years, no matter how she's shouldered that role.

"If you don't mind Masen and me tagging along, maybe we could take them out for pancakes?" I suggest. That's innocent enough, isn't it?

Edward's posture seems to lose some tension, and he sends me an appreciative look. "I think that's a great idea, Isabella. We could make a day out of it. Take them to Port Angeles or something."

I can't help but beam. "I'd love that."

He smiles and nods, as if sealing the deal, and the next silence is even more comfortable. Okay, so he didn't show up at the bar for me, specifically, and he wants to hang out with me tomorrow because we have the boys. I'm a mother more than a woman in his eyes, but at the very least, there might be a friendship on the horizon.

So far, ninety percent of our interactions are about our kids in one way or another. I'm interested in getting to know the man he is, because I already have a fairly good grasp on the dad he is.

Farther up this street, there'll be one more street to walk down, then a turn before we get home. Within five minutes, we'll go our separate ways.

"Your text message earlier…" Edward tilts his head at me, hesitating. "I read something between the lines that I'm not sure was my imagination."

My mouth twists up, and I'm sure I know what he read between the lines. "You mean my slightly disgruntled comment on you having fun with Carlisle and my _mom_?"

He exhales. "So it wasn't in my imagination." He chuckles and shakes his head.

"I'll be honest," I say and blurt out the rest before I can stop myself. "I worry that you might see me as your friend's daughter—and that you and I aren't peers."

His gaze snaps to mine in a flash, and I see his shock, even as his expression remains fairly closed.

"Isabella, that's—I…Christ." He blows out a breath and furrows his brow at the ground, walking in silence for a minute. Whether he notices or not, he's speeding up a little, his legs far longer than mine. Then he falters when he sees I'm a few feet behind. "I don't know how to word myself, but you're a dozen things before a friend's daughter."

Okay. Okay, good. I don't know how to respond, but I'm relieved.

We take the last turn, ending up in the residents' parking lot. The nip in the air has taken care of most of my tipsy state, which, to be honest, wasn't very impressive. I've had fun tonight, but I'm wondering if the bartender waters down the drinks.

The yard encased by the four buildings is dark, except for the two lights by the little playground. A few windows are lit here and there, blinds drawn.

I open my clutch to dig out my keys, and Edward's murmured, "Let me" breaks the silence. He takes my keys and gestures for me to walk up the stairs before him, and I just do as told.

Outside my door, I turn and awkwardly remove his warm sport coat. "Thank you for letting me borrow it."

He accepts it and nods with a dip of his chin. It's too dark up here, so I can barely see his features.

"Did you have fun tonight?" he wonders.

I nod and peer up at him, my eyes adjusting slowly. "Did you?"

He smiles faintly. "I'm fairly certain I was the third wheel."

The confusion is probably all over my face.

He chuckles under his breath. "Carlisle and Renee were…almost flirting, I'd say."

"Holy shit. Really?" Wow. _Wow_. I mean, good for Mom; Carlisle's a nice man, and they deserve happiness, but wow. "I…huh. I didn't see that coming." I lean back against the door and fold my arms over my chest. _Cleavage, please work for me_. "I assume Carlisle and Esme really are getting divorced, then."

"They are." Edward takes a step forward and inserts the key in the lock, but he doesn't twist it. "You didn't hear that from me, though. About your mother and him, I mean."

I raise a brow. "I never do. Especially if you're involved. I always hear it from Mom."

He narrows his eyes at that. "You actually have doubts about my not viewing you as a peer."

I lift a shoulder in a shrug. Truth be told, yeah.

He stares at me intently, his gaze eventually dropping. His Adam's apple shifts in a swallow, and I grow self-conscious. He drops his stare farther, then looks up again, and I don't know what to think.

Goose bumps rise all over as he touches my cheek, his knuckles brushing over my skin much like the night on my couch. I suck in a breath and can practically feel my pupils dilating. Is this finally happening? Can I be less of Renee and Charlie's little girl and more of the woman Edward took so possessively in Seattle?

* * *

-cara


	10. Chapter 9

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

 _He stares at me intently, his gaze eventually dropping. His Adam's apple shifts in a swallow, and I grow self-conscious. He drops his stare farther, then looks up again, and I don't know what to think._

 _Goose bumps_ _rise all over as he touches my cheek, his knuckles brushing over my skin much like the night on my couch. I suck in a breath and can practically feel my pupils dilating. Is this finally happening? Can I be less of Renee and Charlie's little girl and more of the woman Edward took so possessively in Seattle?_

My hands fall to my sides, and I swallow hard. He doesn't pull away this time, and I don't avert my gaze.

"You're all grown up, aren't you, Isabella?"

Damn fucking right. Although, my nerves to actually form words have escaped me. I manage a quick nod.

He takes a slow breath and leans in just as slowly, until his forehead touches my temple and his lips ghost over my cheek. _Oh God, you can't stop there._ It's not enough. It's not enough, goddammit. I nearly whimper as the tension floods me.

"I can't get you out of my head," he whispers. "Trust me, darling, you're all grown up in my mind, too." He leaves barely there kisses along my cheek, down to my jaw, and I make a needy _hnngh_ sound. Tilting my face an inch toward his is all he needs, and then his mouth covers mine in a warm kiss.

Before I know it, I'm standing up on my toes and my arms are locked around his neck. I take whatever he gives, pleasure exploding behind my closed eyelids as he strokes my tongue seductively with his own.

"Open the door." My fingers find his hair, and I angle my head for a deeper kiss. "I want you."

He slams me roughly against the door and twists the key, and I moan when I feel him against my lower stomach. There's no easing into things. Once the door is open, he grips my waist tightly and walks me backward into the living room.

I touch him everywhere. My fingers in his hair, my hand down his chest, the back of his neck, his sharp jaw that moves with each kiss. Meanwhile, he slides one hand down to cup my ass, the other lingering on my waist. I'm tempted to unbutton his shirt, but…too soon? For him. Definitely not for me. I want him in my bed—right now.

"Have dinner with me," he says, breathing heavily.

"Now? I'm not hungry." I can't help myself. I start undoing his belt.

He grins and gently grips my wrists, halting me as well as slowing down the kisses. "No. Soon—a date."

"Oh." I flick my gaze to his and smile tentatively. A new kind of excitement builds up. "I'd love to."

"Good." He cups my cheek and kisses me, and I return to working his belt, giddy and turned on. He notices and chuckles. "Sweetheart, what're you doing?"

"I'm trying to get into your pants. Can't you tell?"

His eyes grow darker, and his jaw ticks. "I want you too much, Isabella. Be careful what you get yourself into." He touches my cheek, and I shudder. My body responds so powerfully to him. "How about we slow down…and I take you to dinner like a gentleman before I…" He notices my shiver, his mouth twisting up. "My God, you're so incredibly sexy."

I exhale shakily and slip the end of his belt out of the buckle. "Please, Edward."

He takes a deep breath, warring with himself. I try to sway him by slowly rubbing a hand down his crotch, and I almost whimper. I forgot how perfect he felt. Edward's jaw tenses again. I don't look away from him. I want him to know—to see.

With a single heated look, he makes me flush and tremble.

I stroke him outside of his pants and reach up to press a kiss to his throat.

He grips my arms, and there's a tense silence. I don't even hear myself breathe, just hoping that he will— _oh my God!_ A somersault rocks my stomach as he swiftly throws me over his shoulder, and I let out a yelp.

"Edward!"

"I warned you," he growls.

 _Everything_ inside me clenches.

My shoes fly off.

Seconds later, my back hits the mattress in my bedroom, causing another flip in my stomach. Edward moves over me, his mouth covering mine instantly, and this kiss is all promise. Dark, dirty promise.

"Oh, God." I moan as he grazes his teeth along my neck, his long, skilled fingers unzipping my jeans. I buck my hips involuntarily, then arch my back and dig back my head.

He shifts back only to let me shimmy out of my jeans. At least he gives me something to watch while I shed clothes. He unbuttons his shirt and removes his belt, followed by throwing the shirt on the floor.

It's dark in the room. The only light we have is from the hallway, but there's no time to switch on the light on my nightstand. Edward's back, hovering over me, and I hurriedly get rid of my top.

"Fuck." He splays a hand on my chest, guiding me until I'm flat on my back. "Your body is something else." With one hand supporting his weight on the mattress, he uses the other to tease the hell out of me once the bra is off, too. In agonizingly unhurried strokes, he touches my skin, the undersides of my breasts, then cups one of them firmly. "You're perfect."

I bite my lip to withhold a whimper, and he lowers his mouth to wrap his lips around a nipple. He sucks lightly, goes harder, light again, bites carefully, eliciting a cry from me, then swipes his tongue over the bud.

Bastard. He's already got me panting and ready to beg.

It's clear he's in charge now, though. And he takes his time kissing, sucking, and manipulating my breasts. When I tug on his hair too hard, he doesn't lean back. Instead, he hisses and punishes me by pinching my nipple.

"Oh my fuck," I groan. The pleasure zings straight to my pussy. "Edward, please. I can feel you." So hard, so ready. I want him away from my thigh and deep inside me. "Please take me."

"Shh-shh-shhh." He shifts higher and gives me a hungry kiss as he slips down my thong. "Do we need protection? I'm clean. I haven't—it's been three years."

Holy fuck, me—okay, I probably shouldn't blurt out _me too_. My gaze cuts to his, and I realize I was his last partner, like he was mine. An unfamiliar surge of possessiveness takes over, and I think I stun him with the ferocity of my next kiss.

"Nothing between us." I sneak a hand down to his cock. Underneath his black boxer briefs, I wrap my fingers around him. "Just you. Taking me."

He grunts and nips at my bottom lip. "Spread your legs wider for me, baby." He cups my jaw and lets me push down his underwear. "My sweet little Isabella."

" _Ungh_ , that voice…" I arch into him, only to gasp loudly when he finds me soaking wet. "Shit. Edward—more, please. Deeper."

The corner of his mouth curls up, and he slides his middle finger deeper inside me, his thumb rubbing slow circles around my clit. "What about my voice?"

I mock-glare at him, getting desperate. "It makes me needy and horny," I complain. "I keep thinking about it—every time you get all bossy and strict."

"Interesting." He withdraws his finger from me, replacing it with the head of his cock. "I'll make sure to use it against you often from now on."

Before I can make a comeback, he forces himself inside me hard enough to steal the air in my lungs.

My lips part in a silent cry. The intense euphoria fuses with the shock of pain, and I don't know whether to tense up and orgasm or cower in the corner.

"I warned you," he whispers raggedly. He pulls out slowly, then pushes in at the same pace, letting me feel every single inch of him stretching me. "Jesus fuck, you feel perfect around me."

I whimper, the pleasure building up while the pain fades.

"More," I beg.

"Quiet, darling. This is going to be a while."

I moan.

~oOo~

I got a glimpse of how Edward is in bed when we were in Seattle. Tonight takes the prize ten times over. I have no say whatsoever unless something is wrong. He fucks me like he owns me and draws my first orgasm from me in minutes. After that, he's on a mission to learn every reaction from my body.

He takes me from behind, discovering how much I love that position. Then he eases out, telling me he's close, and crawls between my thighs to eat me out. He pushes me toward the next orgasm with sensual swipes of his tongue and twisting fingers.

"Sit on my cock," he murmurs next.

I heave a breath, still recovering, but obey as fast as I can. He sits back against the headboard, and I hitch a leg over him to take him inside. I'm already sore and achy, yet he's reawakened me in a way that I can't stop.

He hisses and grips my hips. "Look what a mess you're making."

" _Edward_ ," I whimper. How is he not a blubbering fool by now? I sure am. I'm exhausted and can't control my erratic heartbeat. And still, I need him more than ever.

"You're killing me." He tenses his jaw—hell, his whole body is strung tight. His muscular thighs are hard under me. "There's no getting enough of you, is there?"

I kiss him messily. While he's the one setting the pace I might need gym hours to keep up with, I get some satisfaction from the fact that he's not entirely relaxed. A drop of sweat trickles down his temple, and his sexy chest is flushed and glistening.

"You're the one killing me," I argue breathlessly.

He hums, latching on to my skin. He leaves a hot trail of openmouthed kisses as he rubs my sensitive clit. "A lot of frustrations. Three years worth of pent-up need and fantasies. I told you it was going to take a while." He strokes my thigh with his free hand, and I roll my hips over his cock. "I want it all, Isabella."

I don't know what he means by that, but I guess we're not leaving the bed for some time.

Yeah, I've had worse nights.

~oOo~

"Fuck!" My eyes pop open, and then I'm fading into another orgasm. I shake and shudder and screw my eyes shut, and he fucks me through the waves of bliss. From behind again, one hand flat on my lower back, ass in the air for him, his cock pushing in and out of me in long strokes. He fucks me into the mattress.

I let out a hoarse sob. I can't take it anymore. My body is fluid, and every time I move, my muscles protest.

"Sexiest…goddamn…sight." He punches into me, teeth gritted. "One more, baby. Give me one more."

"I can't," I cry. And fuck me, I'm actually starting to cry. Hypersensitive and overwhelmed by the pleasure, the emotions run over. "Mark me." I need it. I want to feel the sting of his hands making impact on my skin. It would push me over the edge—I just don't know which one. But before tonight is over, I want to be so used by him that I fall into a coma.

He doesn't resort to spanking or smacking my skin. Instead, he digs his fingers into the flesh of my hips and fucks me harder. Driven by his needs and instincts, he finally lets go and takes me for his pleasure rather than mine. His focus has changed.

"Are you okay?" His voice is low and labored, his rapid breaths hitting my neck. I only manage a nod and a weak _more_ , because evidently, I'm a freaking whore. "I'm close."

So why the hell does he pull out?

He kneads my thighs roughly. "Come here. I want your pretty little mouth on me."

Oh, fuck yes. I scramble to turn around, my thirst for him nearly bowling me over. That's another taste I got in Seattle, and now I want more. All of it.

Edward's eyes had a hint of "is this okay?" but that's thankfully gone now. He has to notice my eagerness. With his sculpted thighs parted and one hand stroking his slick cock, he watches me hungrily as I get on all fours in front of him.

"You're pornographic, little girl."

I bite my lip and blush, dipping down to kiss the spot where his thigh and groin meet. His breathing hitches, and he carefully weaves his fingers into my hair.

"That's it," he whispers, guiding me. "Kiss it first."

I give the head of his glistening cock an openmouthed kiss and swipe my tongue over the slit.

"Jesus. Suck me off."

Wanting to make it as good for him as I possibly can, I take him in slowly, wetly, and tighten my lips around him. God, I'd forgotten how much I missed this. And when it's Edward I'm pleasing…? Out of this world.

He sucks in a sharp breath and sits back on his heels, giving me free rein. Except for the pace. He controls my movements with the hand at the back of my neck, keeping it unhurried.

"Oh fuck, Isabella." He swallows hard as I cup his balls and swirl my tongue around his cock. "That's…Christ, incredible— _fuck_." He tightens his hold on my hair when I lock my jaw into place and suck him harder.

He starts fucking my mouth in shallow thrusts, in a few inches, then out again. Quickly. His breathing speeds up further, and I can tell he's close.

I dip down more, silently letting him know I'm not going anywhere, and it seems to set him off. He groans my name, his thrusts becoming irregular, and rocks deeper between my lips.

My mouth floods with his climax in sharp bursts, and I whimper at the eroticism of it. My body responds, despite being beyond exhausted. When his orgasm fades, I swallow around him and flatten my tongue along the underside of his cock.

"Isabella," he pants. "Ah, fuck. My goddamn… Come here." He manages to draw me close before collapsing on the mattress, and for more than a minute, all I hear is our labored breathing.

I swallow dryly, trying fruitlessly to slow down my heartbeat. Or whatever it is that's going thump-thump-thump in my ears.

My legs are mush. It hurts to move, so I don't.

"Shit." I release a heavy breath and throw a hand over my heart. Even that little movement was too much.

"Yeah." Edward repositions us so I can use his chest as my pillow, and he draws a shiver from me as he ghosts his fingers along my shoulder. "If I smoked, I know what I'd be doing now."

I let out a chuckle, agreeing.

"I suppose there's something else I could do," he murmurs. "It's been on my mind a lot lately."

"Hmm?" I yawn and cuddle closer.

"I'm sure the timing isn't the best, but… Christmas three years ago. Tell me where you were, Isabella."

 _Double shit._

* * *

-cara


	11. Chapter 10

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

 _Christmas_ _three years ago. Tell me where you were, Isabella._

 _Christmas_ _three years ago. Tell me where you were, Isabella._

 _Christmas_ _three years ago. Tell me where you were, Isabella._

He knows.

Somehow, I end up sitting up straight and reaching for a blanket to wrap around my chest. If my pulse was skyrocketing before, it has nothing on now.

 _He knows._

I'm suddenly thankful there's barely any light in the room.

"Wh-what?" I scoot away slightly and face him warily.

He's still on his back, one hand under his head. His eyes glint in the dark, his expression completely unreadable.

"You heard me," he murmurs. "Did you think you'd changed that much? You've grown up. You haven't become a new person."

I swallow nervously.

He raises himself up a little, supporting his weight on his elbow. "Did you honestly believe an eye mask would conceal your identity that well?"

Yes! I'd changed a _lot_. For chrissakes, I went from child to woman in those years. I grew curves, had a baby, and matured. And he'd been buzzed.

"You knew all along?" I croak. Fucking hell, my heart's never pounded this furiously before.

He shakes his head. "I'll admit it took me a while. The ballroom was too dark. I was reminded of you before we left the bar and started dancing, but it wasn't until we reached the lobby I was certain."

Yet, he was the one who mentioned room service when we ran out of options due to the blizzard. He took that step.

"I behaved like an animal." He reaches out and touches my thigh, and my heart gets stuck in my throat. "My innocent little student had turned into a walking felony."

I just need to know he's not angry.

"Then I woke up the next morning to your note." He keeps his gaze on my leg, his hand stroking me higher up. "Written in the same handwriting I'd seen so many times before."

"Oh God." I cover my mouth with my hand, feeling so fucking stupid. He used to be my _teacher_ , for fuck's sake.

"So that was the weekend I cheated on my wife and fucked my former student." He lies back down, hand returning behind his head, and I swear I'm more frozen than an ice cube.

He brushes his fingers over his mouth and observes me in that unreadable way. Maybe he's thinking back. I'm doing everything in my power to keep the memories at bay. The memories of him kissing me, parting my thighs, and calling me a dirty little whore.

I flush and look away.

"I feel like I should apologize," I confess.

"Are you sorry?"

I shake my head, and I'm sorry about _that_. About not being sorry.

"Then don't do that." He sighs and sits up, his feet thudding against the floor, and I panic internally. Is he leaving? But no, he's just putting on his boxer briefs. "I'm sure as hell not sorry. It wasn't the first time I took my ring off."

I widen my eyes, even though he has his back to me now. "You mean you've been with—"

He shakes his head quickly. "I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I mean I've taken it off in the past—more times than I can count—just to pretend it wasn't part of me."

Oh. I'm weirdly relieved. I know I'm selfish.

Wanting to make sure we'll be okay, I crawl over to him and hug him from behind. This way, he's stuck with me. If I don't let go, he'll have no choice but to live with us.

"I wanted to come clean, but I was scared." I press my mouth to his neck and hate that he's tense. "All these years…and I could never really get you out of my head."

Edward sighs and covers my arm with his hand. I hope that's a good sign. "It's unbelievable, that's what it is. I'm hardly a catch, sweetheart. I just told you I was unfaithful to Kate because I couldn't resist you—I caved."

"Well…call me crazy."

He chuckles humorlessly and hangs his head. "You didn't fly all the way to Seattle only for me, did you?"

"Um…"

" _Isabella_." He finally turns his head a little so we can at least look each other in the eye. "I don't know for what reason, but you think too highly of me. Where you're concerned, I clearly have no willpower whatsoever—"

"This is kind of a good thing."

He gives me an irritated glance for interrupting him. "I'm a teacher, a single father, and I've wasted the better part of the past twenty years because I was a coward. Kate and I should've divorced ages ago, but we got too comfortable."

"She gave you Anthony."

That deflates him, though only a bit. "You asked me what _my_ old English teacher would've said if he'd met me today."

"And you deflected and said he wouldn't give a rat's ass what happened to his students."

"Coward, remember?" he murmurs with a hollow smile. "Doesn't matter what he would've said. _I'm_ disappointed. When I go to those sad reunions, I hate it because it's me I'm seeing. All those students who never went after their dreams… They're me."

He won't listen to anything I say right now. I press a kiss to his cheek and comb back his hair. I feel calmer, and I have hopes that we can finally get to know each other better as two adults.

I'm fully aware I've let a childhood crush take me, maybe, too far. But so what? I'm not blind. I don't need to know his favorite TV show or his detergent before I can be certain he's a good man. I've known that since I was a kid. I saw it the way he inspired his students, and I see it in the way he is with Anthony.

James graduated a year before me and stuck around to work with his dad because he was still on his parents' shit list. And I'm not the only one who helped James better his grades. Edward played a big part, too. It's what he does.

"I want you to trust me." I brush a thumb over his five-o'clock shadow. "Maybe my crush was silly for a long time, but I'm not delusional. I haven't put you on a pedestal, and I can't predict the future with any dream scenarios." I peck the corner of his mouth, and some of the tension is finally leaving his shoulders. "The dreams are there, mind you, but I can separate them from reality."

The next time I kiss him, he inches closer and kisses me back slowly, thoroughly. _Perfectly_.

"I have dreams, too." He cups my cheek, deepening the kiss. "It was thanks to you I finally told Kate we needed to end things. Because of the night you and I shared. I've aimed for more for myself ever since."

And if it weren't for Edward exhaustively encouraging me to pursue my goals, I wouldn't be a veterinarian today, so there's that.

Edward's reaction to my telling him that is to flip me over so I'm on my back. Then he's kissing me passionately and removing the blanket from me.

"I can't believe you thought I didn't know it was you," he whispers into the kiss. "Don't you realize how unforgettable you are?"

"Are you going to tease me about it for a long time?"

He nods and smiles. "Count on it. That flimsy little mask you wore…" He chuckles and shakes his head. "I just never expected to see you in Forks again."

I'd probably be pushing my luck if I told him my decision to move home was partly because of him.

"That flimsy little mask gave me the courage I needed," I point out, and I don't think he'll complain about that. "I wouldn't have had the guts to flirt with you otherwise."

He hums and peers down on my exposed body. "I couldn't comprehend it. You were so… And _now_ …" He groans and covers my mouth with his again.

Relief and excitement mingle and create a heady surge of euphoria. Everything I've fantasized about is within reach, and it feels so fucking good to have all my secrets out in the open. I have nothing else to hide.

It feels like nothing can go wrong now.

~oOo~

I don't count sneaking around with Edward as a secret in the same sense. It's thrilling, sexy, and amazing, and it gives us time to test the waters and see what we want. So the first thing we do is not run to my mom and say we're gonna date each other, and we definitely don't mention anything to the boys.

Pancake breakfast in Port Angeles the day after turns into a week of spending as much time together as possible. Whether it's breakfast, coffee on the run, or making out—and well, fucking—on the couch after the boys have fallen asleep…we take advantage of every moment.

Rose finds out about us one morning when Edward's sneaking out. It was only Anthony who was supposed to have a sleepover, but oops, Edward accidentally fell asleep in my bed.

Rose merely smirks, and we make plans to go shopping for the reunion next week.

The next afternoon, I bring a grumpy Masen and dessert over to Edward's. He told me he wanted to cook for a change, and I don't mind watching.

"Can you at least talk to him?" Masen grouses.

"Oh, get over it, kiddo." I check the plastic wrap over the pie and then look up at the sky. It'll probably rain later. "You can't expect Anthony to wanna try everything you're into."

The boys have been arguing on and off for the past two days about activities. By arguing, I mean Masen gets mopey and Anthony gets testy. Yet, they insist on seeing each other every day, either alone or with Riley.

I knock on Edward's door, and it's Anthony who opens it.

"Hi, sweetie." I dip down and kiss his forehead. "Has your father turned the kitchen upside down yet?"

"Close," he says with a nod. "I'm wary of his cooking. It's better when you do it, Bella."

I laugh softly and enter the apartment. It smells good, however. I can glimpse Edward in the kitchen, concentrating on whatever's cooking on the stove.

"So…what do you wanna do?" Masen sighs.

Anthony has a hopeful suggestion. "I can teach you Pig Latin?"

" _Mom_." Masen turns to me, a pleading look in his eyes.

I purse my lips then shrug. "Ellway, ywhay otnay?"

He blinks.

Anthony gapes at me. "You…you speak Pig Latin?"

I hear Edward chuckle in the kitchen.

I wink at Anthony. "I was a huge nerd in school."

Leaving the kids behind as they settle on watching a movie, I meet up with Edward in the kitchen, and he sneaks in a quick kiss.

"I think you just became his hero."

I grin. "I can live with that."

~oOo~

I don't know where to place Alice. Neither does Rose, for that matter. Alice called her out of the blue and suggested shopping together for the reunion, and since Rose and I already had plans, it became an outing for all of us. And I learn they've seen each other a couple times for lunch, and it's always Alice who calls. Yet when they meet up, she seems…cold. I don't know. I can't really explain it, but she's doing it now, too.

"What about this one?" Rose holds up a red cocktail dress. "I'd like it to say I'm ready to have some fun, but I'm also a serious businesswoman."

"You're an accountant," Alice points out with a frown.

I press my lips together, because even I think that's funny, but Rose wasn't wrong. She's started her own business from scratch, and she's doing well.

"I like it," I offer. "It's sexy."

I found my dress, a little emerald green number, in the first store we went to. This is the fourth. The only thing I need now is shoes.

As Rose goes back and forth, with Alice oh so helpfully chiming in, I send a text to Edward, who's watching Masen.

 ** _How's everything going? Kisses! (I can say that now, right?)_**

Rose has decided the dress isn't for her by the time Edward replies.

 ** _You can more than say it, darling. You can come to my place and show me. I'm about to take a nap, which should pass time quickly. (Can you tell I'm bored?) Renee picked up the boys without calling first. Is this something I should get used to?_**

Um, yes. That's what Mom does.

 ** _Afraid so. I'll hurry over so I can kiss you everywhere. ;)_**

I grin to myself and follow the girls out of the store, watching as Edward types.

 ** _You tease. Just for that, I'm starting without you._**

"Bella, are you hungry?" Rose asks.

"Uh-huh…" My fingers fly over the keyboard.

 ** _Send a pic? Pretty please. See, I said please, so now you have to._**

His response makes me laugh.

 ** _Isabella! That's inappropriate. Goddammit, I think you just made me blush for the first time since kindergarten. Do people really do that?_**

"What's so funny?" Alice asks impatiently.

Of course, Rose can guess, so she only snickers.

"My boyfriend," I say just because I can. Perhaps it's a little soon, but I don't care.

Alice lifts a brow. "I didn't know you were dating anyone."

I answer her at the same time as I answer Edward.

 ** _We're off to lunch. I suppose I shouldn't sneak into the bathroom and show you how good my new bra looks on?_**

"It's a new relationship, but to be fair, you and I haven't talked much."

Alice has no reply to that, though Edward has one for me.

I about die when I receive a photo of his hard cock.

~oOo~

When I finally return to Forks, I'm ready to have some hot fun before Masen and Anthony come home from whatever Mom's spoiled them with.

I grab my shopping bags and close the trunk of my car, then start walking toward my building.

"Bella?"

I throw a glance over my shoulder, and just like that, my stomach drops. Kate. Oh fuck.

Awkward.

 _Um, hi, Aunt Kate, it's been a while. I hope you mind I'm sleeping with your ex-husband-to-be._

She shuts the door of her car and walks closer with a cardboard box labeled "Edward, childhood."

"Hi." I muster a polite smile.

She does the same and reaches me. There's no hug or anything, just an explanation that she's here to drop off a box Edward forgot, and she's gonna pick up something else. Nothing about how long it's been since she saw me, no welcome back to Forks.

I guess the brief hello we exchanged at the soccer tournament was it.

We walk together in stilted silence toward Edward's building across the yard. When Kate gives me a confused look, I explain he's been watching Masen.

"Ah." She nods once. "Edward told me the boys are friends."

"They are."

"Perhaps your son can influence Anthony. He needs better hobbies."

I don't answer. Not everyone wants to do sports. If anything, I hope they'll influence each other. Masen could use some of Anthony's discipline for school and academia.

"Must have been rough," she notes. "To have a child that young, I mean."

"I was lucky to have Mom and Dad," I reply.

"Ah yes, Charlie." She smiles thinly and switches the box to hold it under her other arm. "My parents sure adored him."

I look to her sharply, then decide it's not worth it. I've given up on finding out why Aunt Kate hated my dad so much.

We reach Edward's apartment, and Kate knocks on the door firmly.

My stomach tightens with nerves, and I hope Edward can think quickly. I already know Masen's not here, so Edward better act well.

It's a comical sight when he opens the door. His gaze lands on me, and a smile warms his expression, though it fades as he spots Kate a fraction of a second later. He straightens and looks…impatient, is the best word I can come up with.

"This is for you." Kate hands over the box, and Edward nods in thanks. "Where's the other one? I have to be on my way."

"One moment." Edward disappears inside, and my eyebrows shoot up. Because when he returns, it's with the box Masen stumbled over in the woods. "Isabella, you remember Principal Banner. Kate is staying with his sister while she's waiting for her condo in Portland to be ready."

"O…kay." I don't see what this has to with the graduation box. It's bad enough that Masen found it "not really buried." Half of it had been sticking out of the soil, according to him. And now we're handing it over to Kate?

"Mary offered to take it," he finishes.

That's even worse. Principal Banner's sister was the librarian back in the day—and a gossip. Rose's mom has nothing on Mary.

"Um, is that smart?" My forehead creases. "It's thanks to her the entire faculty knew if anyone made out in the library."

Amusement flashes in Edward's eyes.

Kate lifts a brow at me. "Doesn't that mean she's loyal to the teachers? She doesn't want this to get out, and Banner suggested she put them in a lockbox."

"So they're not gonna get destroyed?" That's dumb to me. The whole point of the secrets and wishes tradition was that they'd never be _unearthed_.

"We can't leave it up to the students," Edward reasons. "We'd have to get every student involved in the decision. And it's not our right to decide whether to destroy it, so locking it up seems like the best alternative."

I lift a shoulder, unsure if I agree or not, but it's out of my hands.

"Well. I'm done here," Kate says. "I'll get out of your way so you can pick up your son, Bella. Edward, we'll talk at some point, I guess."

"It'll be too soon, Kate." Edward sends her a pleasant smile.

I furrow my brow as she walks away with a scoff. As far as she knows, Anthony's in this apartment. Mere feet away. And she's not even gonna say hi?

"You, my dear girl. Get in here." Edward's voice steals my attention, and I thaw at the warmth he radiates. After a minute of Kate's iciness, I need it.

"Hi." I smile up at him as he closes the door behind me, and then he dips down to kiss me heatedly. "Umph—I feel like you're a man with a plan."

He grins faintly, taking another deep kiss. "That I am. We have forty minutes until Renee is here with the boys."

I think I know how we're going to spend those forty minutes.

* * *

-cara


	12. Chapter 11

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"Of course, I'll schedule him in every eight weeks." I make a note in my calendar for the German Shepherd to have his nails trimmed regularly. "I think that's it, Mr. Adler."

"Okay, thank you, Dr. Swan," he replies and pats his dog's head. "We'll see you in a couple months."

I smile and wish them a good weekend, and then my smile widens as I refocus on Emmett by the door.

"Hi, Emmett."

"Hey, hon." He grins and nods at the door. "Lunch?"

I check my watch, then my calendar. _Perfect_. "I have fifty minutes. Lead the way, Officer."

Since Mom and Masen are at some ranch with Chance, I lock up the clinic and then follow Emmett to the diner across the street.

"You better be careful, a girl can get used to these lunches," I say as we take our seats in a window booth.

"I know. Three days in a row. I better spread them out," he chuckles. "The good thing is I've gotten Alice off my back."

"Oh?" I feign casual interest as I look through the menu, but on the inside, I can't fucking wait for more information.

From what I've gathered, he usually has lunch with Alice. She's a stay-at-home mom—so not the Alice I once knew—and leaving the house to meet up with Emmett pretty much sums up her social life. But this week, she's been driving him nuts with talk of the reunion, a topic I quickly learned is _not_ Emmett's favorite. The light in his eyes dims whenever it's mentioned, yet he promised Alice and Jasper he'd come.

"Yeah. And after tomorrow, it'll be over." He closes the menu when a waitress comes over. "Hey, Bree. I'll have the steak sandwich with onion rings. Cherry coke to drink."

"Coming right up." She faces me.

I order a two-piece of fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy, promising myself I'll go with something healthier next time. Thankfully, the next school semester is just around the corner, so Edward finally has something to do during the day. It's both good and bad that it means he doesn't have time to visit me with lunch. Good because he picks the greasiest food, bad because I'm officially lovesick.

Then it's only Emmett and me again, and he closes the topic by stating that the reunion tomorrow night can't be over soon enough. After that, he quickly launches into a story about work, and he wonders if Mom or I can stop by the station to identify paw prints. He's working on a case where a farmer thinks a neighbor is stealing his chickens, but Emmett's not buying it. He guesses the prints they found belong to a wolf.

"Mom's probably more qualified. I'll ask her," I reply.

"I appreciate it." He gets comfortable, resting his arms along the top of the booth. "I forgot to ask you something yesterday. Do you like the apartments on Olympia Drive?"

I tilt my head. "I suppose, yes. For now. How come?"

He shrugs a little and looks out the window. "I'm thinking about moving. My house is too big for me."

I remember he told me he bought his parents' house when they retired and moved to Florida.

"It won't be just you forever, will it?" I tease. I've been back in town long enough now to know Emmett McCarty is _quite_ the coveted bachelor in Forks.

He smiles ruefully and shakes his head. "I don't know. The whole family thing isn't my style. You gotta realize I live on the same street as Alice and Jasper, _and_ Ben and Angela. A dinner at either of their houses is fucking crazy, and they only have one kid each. I can't imagine when they have more."

I chuckle. "Children aren't for everyone."

He lifts a shoulder. "I like your boy. Maybe I'll adopt a preteen in ten years."

I laugh at that, 'cause he has no idea. Even now, I can admit Masen was a dream at diaper age compared to now.

"What about you, huh?" He grins and leans forward, resting his forearms on the table. "Are you in Forks for good now? You gonna settle down, find a house, and have a bunch of kids?"

I laugh again, the concept foreign to me. The house…yes. I want a house. The settling down…yes. I'd be a liar if I said I didn't hope it'd be with Edward—eventually. A bunch of kids? Um, I already have one, and Edward has one, too.

I'm actually surprised he hasn't brought up birth control to me. It seems like such a guy thing, doesn't it? But Edward's only mentioned the safety aspects, no question about whether or not I take anything. Perhaps he assumes…

"My biggest immediate plans entail a lot of traveling," I answer, smiling. "Masen's older now, and it wasn't like I could take a year off to backpack around Europe before college. But yeah…ultimately, this is it. I want a family here. Forks is home."

"Home," he echoes, nodding pensively. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Warning bells go off, and I can't help but wonder if something's wrong. Emmett has no happy medium. For the most part, he's happy and carefree, and then there are times like these. Glimpses of something wistful and lost.

"Are you okay, hon?" I wonder.

He clears his throat and nods once. "Yeah. I've just been thinking… Ever since R—a few weeks ago, I've thought about maybe trying another place." First, he goes from perhaps moving to a smaller home; now, he's thinking about leaving town? "I never left, you know. Aside from school—going through the academy, I've always been here."

"Makes sense." Except, it doesn't. Emmett is the picture of a small-town guy, and thing is, he's always loved it. But I guess, if he isn't happy… "Hey." I reach across the table and put my hand on his. "I'm happy to help, you know. Mom keeps in touch with Dad's old buddies from the force all over the place. Boston, Seattle, Providence, Port Angeles—okay, you know most of those guys already, but you get it. If you wanna try something else…" I trail off.

He nods and gives me a small smile. "I'll definitely think about it. Thanks, Bella."

"Anytime."

~oOo~

"Can you stop stealing all the ice cream?"

Edward shakes his head and pushes another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

I wiggle my butt over him, causing him to groan. Ice cream almost trickles out from the corner of his mouth, and I giggle.

It's the perfect post-sex cuddle, in my opinion. I'm still on his lap, the covers are pooling around us, he's deliciously naked, and…rocky road ice cream.

"I think it's the first time I've had ice cream in bed like this," he admits. "We should make it a tradition."

"Without the part where you not-so-accidentally drop it on my boobs."

His mouth twists up, and his eyes take on a wicked glint. "But I loved sucking it off your pretty nipples."

I shake my head and suppress a shiver. "When does Anthony come home?" He's with a friend. So is Masen, who will be home for dinner at seven. I suspect Anthony will be home sooner to catch up with his documentaries. It's a thing.

"I'm picking him up at five." Edward extends the spoon to me, and I close my mouth around it, humming at the flavor. "That gives us half an hour."

I chuckle and swallow the ice cream. "I'm sore, you insatiable man."

"I'm severely deprived and currently buried inside my beautiful girl."

 _His beautiful girl._

"I like that," I confess, leaning closer until our noses brush. "I like being yours."

He strokes my cheek and kisses me slowly. "You're too good to be true. Just promise you'll tell me if you feel I'm rushing anything."

Jesus, he really has no idea.

"That's funny, because I've had that worry, too." Taking the ice cream from him, I set it on his nightstand before cuddling into his embrace. "Seeing you at the end of the day—or whenever we get to see each other—is my highlight. Forks is messing with my head at the moment, and you're the painkiller."

He chuckles quietly and furrows his brow. "Is something wrong?"

I wouldn't go that far, but… "Do you ever get the feeling that people in this town hide a lot? Like, there's surface level, and there's…crap they don't show."

He hums. "I can't say that I do."

Oh, it can't just be me. "Rose won't talk about her divorce, there's something weird going on between her and Emmett, Alice is acting like a stuck-up bitch, and of course, who can forget the age-old secret about why Kate hated my dad so much."

I don't mention that I saw Ben and Angela fighting outside the store after work today—failing miserably to hide their anger. There's tension in town, but it could be me imagining it because everything is so perfect with Edward. If I wait for the other shoe to drop, in the end, something will happen. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Last but not least, I think Edward was right about my mom and Carlisle. She's texting a lot at work, and when I ask who she's smiling about, she dismisses me.

I'm okay with that. I want her to be happy, and it's possible she's not ready to reveal anything yet. Kind of like Edward and me.

"You went quiet." I playfully chuff Edward on the shoulder.

He clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck. "I didn't realize you were still unaware of the feud between your father and Kate."

 _Still?_ I cock a brow. "Are you saying you know the reason?"

"Yes." He frowns.

Thinking about it, it's not weird he knows. But it makes me feel off. I was always "too young" to know, but he wasn't. Edward was married to Kate, and he was an adult.

I was the _kid_.

The conversation is no longer happy-go-lucky, so I shift off of his lap and secure the sheets under my arms. "So tell me what it was."

He hesitates. "I'd tell you, baby, but is it my place?"

"Does it matter?" I laugh incredulously. "Dad's dead, and Mom doesn't want to talk about it."

Edward looks legitimately disturbed by this, and he leaves the bed to put on underwear and his slacks. "I cannot believe this. I thought you knew."

Wait, how bad can it be?

"Just tell me," I say with a frown. "We shouldn't keep secrets from each other, should we?"

"You mean the way you did about Seattle?" He musters a wry smirk.

I narrow my eyes. "Don't deflect."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I'm uncomfortable discussing this with you, Isabella. You should bring it up with Renee."

"She doesn't want to!" Now I'm getting annoyed, and I get off the bed, too. "To be honest, I've always thought it was something petty. The way you're acting, you'd think there's some huge family secret that could change things. My family's not a soap opera. It can't be that bad."

He's made up his mind now though, and it stings. "Given the sensitive subject, I need you to handle this with your mother."

Sensitive subject. I clench my jaw at those words and get dressed. Since I don't know what the hell is going on, I can't decide whether to leave and slam the door behind me or say I understand his position. It can be a combination of both, and it leaves me stuck.

"You're upset with me," Edward states, reaching for his long-sleeved tee.

"Well, I'm not happy," I mutter as I put on my bra. Dammit, I need to go to the bathroom. That's the thing about having sex without condoms. "I'm gonna go home and get dinner started." It's the kindest way to tell him we're not having dinner together here tonight.

~oOo~

"Morning, baby." I smile at Masen as I reach the living room. "No pancakes for you, then?" Seeing as he's already made himself a bowl of cereal to go with the cartoons on TV.

"I didn't say that." He frowns. "I'm still hungry."

"Noted." I chuckle through a yawn and make my way to the kitchen. "Are you excited about the sleepover with Nana today?"

The reunion is held at a hotel in Port Angeles, and I'm drinking tonight. Lots. So Rose and I made reservations to share a room and then drive home tomorrow. She's bringing her not-boyfriend Alec, and I'm bringing the memory of a stubborn Edward who still thinks he doesn't have any business going to high school reunions. After yesterday, maybe it's best I go alone.

"Yeah, Riley and I are gonna play video games all night," Masen says. "Anthony just wants to keep the score."

"I didn't know he was going." After getting the coffee started, I bring out the ingredients to make chocolate chip pancakes.

"Nana called when you were asleep. She said he's coming."

"Huh. Okay." I reach for the phone and dial Mom's number, then place it between my shoulder and cheek. Eggs, flour, milk… By the time Mom answers, I'm pouring the chocolate chips into the batter. "Hey, Mom. Just calling to see if there was something you wanted earlier."

"Well, I'm glad _someone_ got to sleep in," she responds wryly. "Edward decided I'd slept long enough and called me at six this morning."

I nearly drop the spatula, and I stand up straighter. "Oh?"

"Mmhmm. He rather insistently told me I should speak to you about…well, you know." She sighs. "Bella, I really wish you'd let this go. I'd kind of hoped you already had."

For a long time, I guess I did. But being back in Forks, seeing Kate, and now discovering Edward knows…? There's no way I can let it go now.

"At this point, you're starting to freak me out," I say bluntly. "I don't want to be kept in the dark if it's something big, and it sounds like it is." The pancakes will be ready soon, so I leave the kitchen to grab my cell in my bedroom.

Mom doesn't even acknowledge what I said. "Why on earth would you take this up with Edward? Has the friendship between the boys brought you that close?"

"You have no idea," I mumble under my breath as I type out a quick text to Edward.

 ** _Breakfast here in ten minutes. Don't be late._**

I appreciate what Edward did. He called my mom because he understands I want to know, and though he doesn't want to tell me, he'll help me get the truth from the person who should. It means a lot to me.

"Am I involved in this secret crap?" I ask.

Mom takes a breath, and the silence that follows speaks volumes. It makes me uneasy. Mainly because I don't see how. As far as I know, it was between Dad and Aunt Kate.

"I have to go, darling," she replies, and there's a pleading note in her voice. "I'll pick up the boys around noon, and then we can talk some other time."

"But—" Fuck! She's already hung up the phone.

I blow out a breath and flip the pancake in the skillet, getting increasingly angry about the motherfucking secrets. I _knew_ things were going too smoothly.

"Goddammit," I snap.

"Goddammit!" Masen echoes from the living room.

"Hey! You don't curse." I'm so not in the mood for this.

"Kids don't do what parents say, but what parents do," he parrots from something stupid he's heard.

"Great." I shrug and plate the last pancake. " _Your_ parent is having salad at every meal a whole month."

 _Please don't call my bluff, please don't call my bluff._

"I'm sorry for cursing, Mom."

I snort and shake my head.

A couple knocks on the door pulls me further from the secretive shitshow my mom is up to, and I'm thankful for the distraction. Telling Masen to set the table, I turn off the stove and then get the door.

"Good morning, Bella." Anthony adjusts his glasses and smiles up at me.

"Morning, sweetie." I comb my fingers through his ridiculously soft curls. "Wash up, and we'll eat."

He nods and heads inside, and that leaves me with his father, who adjusts his own glasses.

"Hey." He takes a step closer, watching me apprehensively. "I was surprised to receive your message."

I manage a small smile and link my pinkie with his. "I heard what you told my mom—that she should be honest with me. Thank you."

Relief fills his eyes. "If she doesn't tell you, I will, Isabella. I thought a lot about what you said yesterday, and I don't want anything to come between us. Certainly no secrets."

I grin, equally relieved now. "Thank you. I don't want anything to come between us, either."

"Good," he says firmly and pulls something out of his pocket. Two ties. That's…different. "Help me choose, please." He holds up one charcoal and one dark green. "I've decided to go to the reunion tonight."

Fuck yes. I beam up at him, then instantly point to the green one. "It matches my dress."

He chuckles. "Green it is." Pocketing the ties again, he takes another step toward me, and this time the apprehension is back. "One more thing." He gathers my hands and kisses my knuckles. "Go as my date, Isabella."

Oh, shit. My heart drums faster. "Officially? You'll be in front of all your students."

"Former," he whispers with a smirk. "Former students. And it doesn't matter. I want to be able to start discussing the future—one I'm hoping to share with you." He touches my cheek that's undoubtedly scarlet red. "And we can't discuss a holiday getaway if we're in hiding."

"Holiday getaway?" I'm so giddy I could squeal. But I'm not going to do that, of course. I'm a grown woman. "Out of state, maybe?"

"I should hope so," he laughs quietly. "I don't think it's wise for you to wear a bikini up here in December."

I gigglesnort and drop my forehead to his chest. He takes the hint to wrap his arms around me, and I lift my head to peer up at him.

"I have a confession to make." I reach up and kiss his chin. "I have the biggest crush on you, Mr. Cullen."

 _And I think I'm in love._

His eyes light up, and his mouth stretches into a warm smile. "It's very mutual, Miss Swan."

He dips down and kisses me slowly, and I'm immediately hit by this rush of adoration. It's as comforting as it is exhilarating, and it's something I always want at the end of the day. No matter how crazy the outside world gets, Edward seems to make it all melt away.

"Um, Mom?"

"Dad? Is this your first kiss?"

I splutter a laugh, and Edward closes his eyes and shakes his head.

* * *

-cara


	13. Chapter 12

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"Okay, it's a little weird seeing my old teacher slip a hand under the baby Swan's dress."

I squeak and straighten in my seat, and Edward promptly removes his hand and adjusts his tie.

Rose flashes a grin before facing forward again. Alec, who's driving, merely chuckles and shakes his head.

"I'm not that old," Edward mutters, looking out the window.

I snicker, earning myself a playful glare from him.

"So, Edward," Alec says, "you know who cheated on tests, who was always late, and who was the teacher's pet?"

"He's now dating the teacher's pet," Rose supplies helpfully.

"Hey," I protest.

Edward chuckles. "No, I'm sure Mike Newton doodled on his arms for kicks. He was incredibly discreet."

I laugh, remembering that.

Alec smirks in the rearview. "If other teachers show up, I hope you roast the students together."

Rose and I groan while Edward appears way too intrigued.

"Well, I know of three others who are coming," Rose replies. "Alice told me. And I _should_ remember the Spanish teacher's name…but I failed Spanish, so no wonder." She waves that off. "Ben is coming as both student and teacher, I suppose. Anyway, Sam Black and Kate Cullen."

"Oh, joy," I sigh.

"That will be fun, won't it?" Rose grins back at us. "Not awkward at all."

I side-eye Edward, who looks mildly dismayed.

"I had a feeling she might show up," he admits. "Open bar and all."

I can't help but laugh. Rose giggles and holds up her thumb and pinkie and makes a glugg-glugg-glugg sound.

Yeah, tonight's going to be _awesome_.

~oOo~

"Have I told you how stunning you are?" Edward ghosts his knuckles down my arm, eliciting a drawn-out shiver.

"Six times." And I still fucking blush. "Now, quit it. Before I jump you," I say, trying to find my name tag on the table in the hotel lobby. Why we bother with name tags is beyond me. "Last time I passed a table with name tags was when I crashed a certain Christmas dinner for English teachers."

Edward drops a kiss to my shoulder, smiling into it. "That silly little eye mask…"

I roll my eyes and chuckle. "Here's yours." I hand him his name tag, finding my own right after. "Ooh, Tanya's name is here. I wonder if she's still a skank."

" _Isabella_ ," Edward scolds halfheartedly. "That's rude."

"Sorry, Mr. Cullen." I curtsy and bow my head in mock remorse. He's too funny. Freakishly filthy in the sack and…a lady in the streets. "Okay, we've pushed our luck enough. Let's go grab dinner before the reunion starts." The restaurant is just across the street, and I'm sure we'll run into old classmates of mine there. The shindig starts in an hour, and it's a miracle we haven't crossed paths with anyone from Forks yet.

"Or we can order room service," he suggests.

Or we can order room service.

~oOo~

I shouldn't have done my hair and makeup before we left Forks, really. After zipping up my dress, I head into the bathroom of our hotel room to reapply everything but foundation and powder.

Edward appears in the doorway, rebuckling his leather belt. He rakes his gaze over my outfit, making me happy for the umpteenth time I picked this balconette dress. But I shouldn't have had an extra serving of buffalo wings. The shiny emerald fabric has about as much give as Masen's new cleats.

"Stop looking at me like that." I refocus on the mirror and open my lipstick. "That's what got me into this mess."

"I can't help it." He puts on his tie again. "I'm not sure I'll ever get enough of you."

I smack a kiss to him in the mirror.

"Okay, let me show off my new boyfriend to all my old classmates," I announce. "Imagine their faces when they see us."

He shakes his head in amusement and adjusts his cuff links. His glasses have been replaced with contacts, his hair is…well, it's almost neat, and he's just so freaking distinguished and sexy and handsome.

"Let's see if you're this carefree about it when we see Kate," he says mildly.

I scrunch my nose. "It'll be weird, won't it?"

"If Masen and Anthony haven't told Renee we're dating, Kate most certainly will," he assures. "Via Esme, no doubt."

"Blah." I wave it off. I've had a glass of champagne, a delicious dinner, and I have my Edward. I'm not going to be nervous right now. I want to enjoy tonight.

Speaking of the boys, I can only grin at that. Masen and Anthony don't see a relationship between Mom and Dad. They see sleepovers, game nights, and the possibility of giving Chance a puppy brother. Because that was literally the first thing Anthony said. "Dad, we are getting a second dog then, correct? He would be Chance's little brother."

"Maybe it runs in the family, but I'm excited about the open bar now too." I tuck away my makeup and turn to leave the bathroom.

Edward smiles and…doesn't stop blocking the doorway. "I bought you something." From his pocket, he retrieves a jewelry box. "I may have been looking forward to giving you this."

I want to do another one of those obnoxious squeals as he reveals a gorgeous chain-link bracelet. Silver, I hope. Not white gold. Right? With beautiful little crystals hanging like sparkling drops.

"Edward," I whisper.

He gently takes my left wrist and attaches the bracelet. "Forgive me for being a possessive bastard, but I wanted you to wear something I gave you."

I reach up and kiss him hard. "I love it."

~oOo~

In the elevator going down to the lobby, I put on the silly nametag, then help Edward with his. It's mainly so I can gawk at my new bracelet, but whatever.

The lobby is different now. About a dozen people linger outside the modest ballroom, most of them gathered in little cliques as if we were back in high school.

Edward's eyebrows fly up when we spot Tanya Denali and Lauren Mallory. "I almost want to use your word from earlier. Not that I would. Out loud."

I stifle my grin and wave hi to a couple guys who were on the swim team with me back in the day.

Edward and I make our way inside the ballroom where pretty much everyone is crowding the bar for free drinks. Well, free is a relative term; we paid to attend.

I cringe at the music playing because, of course, they had to go with the hits from ten years ago. The whole place is a reunion cliché, complete with a dimly lit stage, balloons, and printouts on the walls from our yearbook.

Bar tables are set up along the walls, leaving the dance floor empty and, I presume, underused. I don't foresee anyone dancing in this bunch, but then, I never really went to school dances and parties. Maybe they're into all that.

"Would you like a drink?" Edward asks.

"I think I'll wait." I nod toward the bar where Kate is chatting with Alice. Actually, it looks like they're arguing, and that's weird. I haven't been back long enough, and I have to remind myself that ten years is a long time. Students and teachers can be friends.

"I don't know," he murmurs. "I think I'd rather have a couple scotch in me when she comes over to accuse me of sleeping with her niece."

I gigglesnort. "If she refers to me as a niece, I'll be shocked."

He chuckles and applies pressure to his hand on my lower back. "Come on, baby. We might as well aim for the alcohol now."

I guess so.

The first drink is only the beginning, it turns out. I've barely tasted my whiskey sour when Angela approaches timidly and just "has to ask" if Edward and I are here together. For her, as a former shy girl, it says a lot about how big this kind of gossip is if she's the first one to ask about it.

"We are," Edward confirms and takes a sip of his scotch. "Where's Ben?"

Angela wants to prod but answers him. "Checking in with our babysitter. Now, and please excuse my forwardness—"

"Are you sure?" Edward cocks his head, and now I'm confused. "I saw him outside with Jasper and Emmett a minute ago."

Then why did he ask?

His response sparks something in Angela, who stiffens and excuses herself.

"Okay, I'm lost," I say. Out of the corner of my eye, Jessica and Mike are moving closer.

Edward takes another sip and looks toward the exit. "Maybe there's _one_ secret I know, and I'm not above using it to escape an inquisition."

"Hi, guys!" Jessica walks up with a fake grin and even hugs me. "I'm so glad you came, Bella. And _you_ , Edward—you're lucky we printed the nametags in advance. Since we didn't know you were coming until today, you'll miss out on the Best Teacher award."

"I think I'll live," Edward replies with a faint smile.

"There're going to be awards?" I chuckle, hoping she's kidding.

She purses her lips before smirking. "Yes, and it's a shame we don't have one for Dating the Teacher, is it?"

Here we go.

I take a big gulp of my drink.

~oOo~

I almost wish I'd attended a larger school. The people who graduated my year could barely fill two classrooms on graduation day, and about ten of them aren't here today. Meaning, you kinda need to talk to each and every one of them, 'cause there's no hiding from anyone.

By drink three, everyone knows Edward and I are dating, and we know the drill. It'll be a few weeks of gossip around town before the opinions eventually reach us, by then twisted and full of he-said, she-said. When it's face-to-face, no one shows their honest reactions—other than a measure of surprise.

"Keep the drinks coming, please." I pop a kiss to Edward's cheek and leave my glass with him, then tell Rose and Alec I'll be right back. Edward and Alec have sparked up a conversation about their mutual love of memoirs and craft beer, and Rose and I have no interest in chasing old classmates down for their life stories. It seems her divorce and my dating Edward are the two most popular topics since I moved back to town and they discovered I was pregnant when I graduated.

In short, we have found our little bar table, and we're not leaving it. Except for bathroom breaks.

I nod and smile politely as I pass Eric and a couple girls whose names I don't remember.

Half a dozen are actually dancing.

With three fairly strong drinks in me, the reunion has potential, but I admit I'm disappointed. I don't know these people anymore. There are some names I've forgotten completely, most classmates have obviously changed a lot, and I'm not part of the community they built up while I was gone.

Ducking into the bathrooms, I'm relieved not to run into anyone I don't want to see. Kate, for instance. She must've heard by now about Edward and me, but I haven't seen her since the bar.

Gathering some toilet paper, I scroll through my Facebook as I finish relieving myself, and it doesn't take many seconds before someone else enters the stalls. Make that two someones. Alice's laughter is unmistakable, and I think the other one is Leah. I was never close to her.

Shit. My gaze lands on a message I received on my Messenger twenty minutes ago. It's from James.

 ** _Hey, Bella. Hope all is well with you. Did you hear about my promotion? My boss is having me travel with him to London!_**

I roll my eyes and close the app, just as I hear, "Gah, I can't fucking wait. Everyone out there is having such a good time, and I keep thinking…just give it twenty minutes." That's Alice.

"You have a weird sense of humor," Leah chuckles. "Did you get Kate off your back?"

I narrow my eyes.

"Oh, please. She doesn't care enough," Alice scoffs. "She was on my case for five minutes. I'm surprised she even showed up. My mom said Kate's moving tomorrow."

"Oh God, can you imagine?" Leah muses. "I bet she's thrilled to leave now that Bella and Edward are hooking up."

I grimace.

Alice laughs softly. "Well, in Bella's defense, I think Edward will be happier with her. There's always been something between them—like a special connection." At least she's not trash-talking me. What the hell is her deal? "But yeah, I wouldn't want to be Kate right now. How embarrassing." The sound of heels and their voices moving away let me know they're leaving the bathroom.

Now, what about twenty minutes? Is something going to happen?

I count to fifteen—slowly—then flush the toilet and readjust my dress. Before returning to the ballroom, I reapply my lipstick too.

I find Edward and Alec on the dance floor, along with most of the others, and Jessica is standing under a spotlight on the little stage. It must be time for the much-anticipated awards ceremony, which I'm still hoping is a joke.

Edward looks around, two new drinks in his hands, and he smiles when he spots me. "There you are. We were told to get ready for some fun."

"I can tell how excited you are," I chuckle. "Thank you." I accept my glass and take a sip. "Where's Rose?"

Alec points his beer bottle in the bar's direction.

Ah.

Rose isn't alone there. She's chatting with Tanya and Lauren, though she doesn't look like she's enjoying herself. Her focus is on Emmett some ten feet away, and he's occupied with his old buddies. I'm glad he doesn't appear too miserable. I realize it's rare to see him out of his uniform, and he cleans up nicely in slacks and a button-down.

"Come closer, come closer, everyone!" Jessica's found herself a microphone, and I wince at the piercing sound. "We're about to hand out ten cute little statues!"

"Basically, all of us will get one, then," I mutter into my drink.

Edward laughs quietly and presses a kiss to my temple.

Mike comes up on the stage to help Jessica get a projector to work. A few seconds later, a slideshow of photos appears on the white screen behind her, and a low rumble of amusement travels through the modest crowd. A picture of Emmett and Ben shoving Jasper into the pool—in full football gear—fills the screen.

I smile, remembering those times. For some weird reason, the guys made me feel comfortable despite my age. Whether I was at the pool or I had my lunch during the guys' football practice, they treated me almost like a baby sister.

"Okay, let's get started!" Jessica beams as Mike rolls out a room service cart with ten statues. They look awfully plastic. "The first one is for Best Comeback! Can anyone guess?"

To my shock, Emmett and a handful other guys holler _my_ name.

"Baby Swan's back in the fold," he hollers.

"Gold star for you, handsome!" Jessica blows him a kiss. "Bella, where are you?" She peers out over the dance floor. "Best Comeback belongs to the _chica_ who returned after being away for ten years."

Edward smirks, taking my drink from me, and gestures for me to get my butt up there, and I do so—wildly uncomfortable. I get a novelty award for moving back home? Jesus H.

I smile self-consciously and join Jessica on the stage. The spotlight seems harsher when it's pointed at you.

"Can we assume Edward celebrates your return the most?" Jessica grins and sticks the microphone in my face.

It catches me off guard, and I don't know what the fuck to say. At the same time, Mike, who's evidently Jessica's little helper, hands me one of those plastic, golden statues. It resembles an Academy Award, with the exception of it being a girl with glasses, pigtails, and a backpack.

"She's speechless, Edward," Jessica announces in the mic. "Care to weigh in?"

"Jessica," I hiss.

Edward stands out among the few men who are six two or six three, and he shrugs. I can tell he won't be goaded to start anything. "I wouldn't bet against it," he says.

I flush and mumble, "You're horrible, Jess" and walk off the stage to Mike's and Jessica's laughter.

The next award is for Best Detention Collector, which goes to Lauren Mallory. It gives me time to finish my drink and get my crap together.

"You are too adorable." Edward's eyes show me how amused he is at my public fumbling.

"There's a reason nerds don't do public speeches," I protest. "Unless it's a TED talk. We get awkward."

He laughs and hugs me to him. "Want me to get you another drink?"

"Yes, _please_."

He nods and tells me he'll take the opportunity to go to the bathroom first.

I suffer through the awards for Class Clown, Best Overachiever, and Best Oversleeper with Alec by my side, along with some bad speeches. Jasper takes home the award for being able to talk his way out of bad grades, and he solemnly thanks his parents for giving birth to him, God, and his quick wit.

I grin and shake my head.

"I'm gonna go kidnap Rose back to us," Alec tells me.

"Okay." I smile and watch Angela receive an award for Honorary Librarian—thanks to having spent more hours in the library than Principal Banner's sister, who actually works there.

Angela goes on to proudly announce she's been offered a part-time job at the Forks High library, so now she can spend even more time around her beloved books.

"Hello, Bella."

I look sharply to my right, Kate's voice causing me to stiffen.

She gives me a smile, though the coldness is visible in her blue eyes.

"Kate—hi." Where's Edward when I need someone to hide behind?

"I suppose congratulations are in order," she notes, absently adjusting the strap on her black dress. She's the image of a perfect female athlete with pronounced shoulders, narrow waist, and little to nothing in the chest area. Been there, done that. "You know, back when I was your swim coach, I noticed how you made eyes at Edward whenever he stopped by the pool. I thought it was cute."

I throw a wary glance toward the exit, then the bar. Edward better get back here soon.

Kate faces me fully. "I'm troubled, Bella." She's acing the fake concern. "You're not even twenty-six yet, and he's well over forty. One can't help but wonder if your lack of fatherly guidance has…how should I put it, caused you to develope some daddy issues."

I damn near drop my jaw. "What the fuck?"

She waves a hand, dismissive. "Come on, now. Edward is a kind man, but let's be honest. His idea of a fun Saturday is to never leave the house. If I hear about another autobiography, TED talk, or those silly little trains he buys for Anthony, I'll blow a fuse. Surely, you have more ambition than that."

"You're describing the man of my dreams. Was there something else?" I ask tightly. I won't be so arrogant to say I know Edward better, but I do know that's far from all he is.

She laughs lightly. "Man of your dreams—if you say so. I'm serious about those… _issues_ , though. When you don't know who your father is, it's easy to get confused."

I don't…what? "What're you talking about?" There's no masking my simmering anger.

"Oh. You still don't know?" She offers a lousy pout. "Perhaps you should ask Renee for the full story, because you deserve to know where you're really from. And once you know—" she leans in closer, as if to share a secret "—I'm sure you'll make better decisions when picking a man."

I make a noise, my brain slow to catch up. At the same time, Jessica gushes about a surprise that Alice has in store for us, and she asks for everyone's attention. I can't give anyone attention at the moment, 'cause I'm considering strangling my aunt. Why would she say I don't know who my father is?

* * *

-cara


	14. Chapter 13

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

"Jess is right. Boy, do I have a surprise." Alice has the microphone now, and I drag my gaze to her before zeroing in on Kate again. Only, she's leaving. "Some of you are safe, some of you aren't."

"Kate!" I call.

Alec and Rose choose that time to return.

I can't make up my mind. Am I pissed, confused, or scared? Maybe a combination of all three, but most of all, I want answers. Why the _fuck_ would she say that?

"What's Alice up to?" Rose looks at the stage curiously.

I steal Rose's drink and down half of it.

"Parched, much?" she laughs.

"You don't know the half of it," I croak. With a quick shake of my head, I decide that Kate is just being a bitch. I'll ask Edward about it when he gets back, and for now, I'll listen to Alice.

"I don't mind secrets," she says into the microphone, her tone casual, almost flippant. "We all have them, right? There's always something." She titters a little laugh and smooths down her yellow dress. "I'm okay with that. It's when the secrets get _out_ …" All traces of humor are gone, and she tsks. "That's just sloppy work." For some reason, she takes out her phone. "Excuse me. I have to call my mother-in-law. She deserves to hear this too."

I look around me, and I spot Jasper across the dance floor with a confused expression.

Alice speaks into the microphone again. "See, I always knew my husband wanted to become a musician," she says. "So this one wasn't really a revelation for me."

A handwritten note appears on the white screen.

 ** _Everyone thinks I'm thrilled to become a lawyer, when all I want is to play music._**

Ben, standing a few feet away from me, takes a quick step forward before he stops again.

"Let's play a game!" Alice suggests. "I want to make sure I get this right, so I'll pick two random notes and see if I recognize the handwriting."

The next two notes on the screen cause my stomach to drop.

 ** _I cheated my way through high school._**

 ** _I'm pregnant._**

Alice giggles. "Well, I was Bella's best friend for years, and she showed up in Forks with a son who's almost ten. Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out, does it? And I'm sorry, Mike, but everyone knows you cheated."

"Jesus Christ," Rose breathes out. "Is that…?"

The secrets. Holy fuck.

At that point, Edward comes to a stop next to me, sans drinks.

"Now! Let's see what Ben's been up to!"

 ** _I'm gay._**

"Oh my God," I gasp, and I'm not the only one who expresses shock.

"Angela knows, by the way," Alice snarls. "Because that's the thing with secrets. They get out when we're not careful. And, Ben? We know. Jasper, we know. We know you two are fucking around behind our backs." She grins darkly and holds up the phone. "The mayor's son isn't a good boy."

"Do something," someone says quietly.

I can't. I'm frozen in place. Jasper and Ben… I can't believe it.

Angela storms out.

"Angela!" Ben pleads before he follows.

Edward and Alec decide to take action, and the two walk closer to the stage.

"Not so fast, gentlemen," Alice chuckles.

 ** _I don't even like the one I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with._**

 ** _She's turned me into a stalker._**

"These two were tricky for me," Alice confesses. "Because teachers aren't supposed to take part of the tradition, but I suppose Edward couldn't help himself. FYI, he's the one at the top. Sorry, Kate. If you're still here… Anyway, I finally figured out the last one is Eric. He had a huge crush on Bella back in the day."

I whip my head around, and Eric's mortified gaze meets mine. And it angers me, because Eric's a nice guy. So what if he had a crush? He certainly doesn't deserve to be put on the spot like this.

"Alice, what the fuck are you doing?" I snap.

"Where did you find the notes?" someone calls.

Alice ignores that and moves on. "Sorry to hear about your sister, Jess. I hope she's stopped cutting herself. And Ben—well, you're not here anymore, but I hope your dad doesn't beat you anymore. Now, this one… This one is something else."

 ** _The school loves my rapist._**

I cover my mouth with a hand, and a string of gasps tears through the room.

Rose chokes. "No!"

"Alice," Emmett growls.

"That's enough, Alice!" Edward's voice is filled with anger, and he pushes forward again, only to be stopped by Alec—of all people.

"See? Alec wants to know how his date is involved in a rape case," Alice says flatly. Dread fills me, and nausea creeps up. "The natural reaction is probably to look to the girl and ask how she's coping, but we don't need to do that here."

A glass shatters against the floor. Forcing my sluggish body to cooperate, I look over my shoulder to see Emmett leaving the room, fists clenched at his sides.

"It was just another Friday, just another party at Royce's house." Alice goes into storytelling mode. "He and Rose were fighting and on one of their breaks. We all remember those, right?" She laughs. "So Rose wanted to make Royce jealous. She flirted with Emmett, confessed she's had a crush on him. She refills his drinks over and over again. He gently pries her away when she kisses him." She pauses and looks directly at Rose. "My biggest regret will always be when I didn't stop it. Because I saw you, Rose. Emmett was ready to pass the fuck out when you took him upstairs to _sleep it off_."

With my heart in my throat, I glance warily at Rose, who's got tears running down her cheeks.

"But you didn't let him sleep," Alice says. "You fucked him—even when he said no. And he confided in me a couple years later. He said he'd confronted you, and what was it you'd said? Oh, that's right. 'Get over it, it was just sex.'"

Jasper climbs the stage, and he says something that I can't hear over the sound of my ears ringing. Then he grabs Alice's arm and escorts her off the stage.

"Don't touch me!" she screams, and she wrenches away before storming out. "Rose, you were never supposed to come home!"

You could hear a pin drop after that.

I heave a shaky breath and look around me, everyone seemingly doing the same. Unsure of what to do, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to react.

Alec is the first one to head toward the exit, and when he passes Rose and she tries to touch his arm, he moves out of her way and ignores her.

It sets her off, and she starts sobbing into her hands.

"Isabella…" Edward walks over to me, gaze cautious. "Are you okay?"

"I…" I don't know. "We should check on someone." Too much has happened tonight; a lot of people must be hurt. "Emmett. We should check on Emmett."

He swallows and nods once, taking another step closer.

"Bella," Rose starts.

I shake my head. I can't even look at her. Maybe another day, but right now, she's not my priority.

Edward and I walk out of the ballroom and head toward the elevators. On the way, I text Emmett.

 ** _Where are you? Can we talk?_**

"I don't know what to think," I admit. "Jasper and Ben—can you believe it?"

Edward sighs and ushers me into the elevator. "That was the one thing I knew already. I wondered why Jasper came by the school so often when Ben worked. Then I saw them kissing one day."

"Jesus." I run a hand through my hair and check my phone. No response. "I'm so pissed at Alice, but she's got to be hurting too. And Angela…"

Edward nods slowly and clears his throat. "What about you, baby? I ran into Kate as she left."

The elevator dings, but I can't move. He holds the door when it tries to close.

I merely stare at Edward.

 _It's not true. Kate said that because she's bitter or something._

"Mom would never cheat on Dad," I say.

He furrows his brow, then gently guides me out of the elevator. "Of course not."

"Then why—" I get frustrated, so I take a breath while Edward unlocks the door to our room. "She said I don't know who my father is, and dating you has to mean I have daddy issues."

"Lord," he mutters.

Once inside the room, I sit down on the edge of the bed to remove my heels and rub the soreness from my feet. "You _have_ to tell me everything, Edward."

"I know, sweetheart." He releases a breath and moves a chair so he can sit down in front of me. "Before I begin, I need you to know that the only reason Renee and Charlie kept this from you was because they didn't want you to look at them differently."

I swallow hard and clasp my hands in my lap.

"Renee didn't give birth to you."

That's funny. Tears spring to my eyes as my mouth twists into a tight smile, and something cracks inside me.

Edward shifts the chair forward a bit more so he can gather my hands in his. "Before your grandparents died, do you remember them talking about Charlie and Kate's older sister?"

"Stop it." I untangle my hands and fold my arms over my chest. It's not funny anymore. My smile is gone, the pain is spreading. "If you're trying to tell me Aunt Irina was my mother, you're out of your fucking mind."

She killed herself. She was an addict. I don't know much about her other than that. And my grandparents didn't mention her much at all—no one did. She's there in a few older pictures, as a young girl, and that's about it. After high school, she stopped caring about her future. She did drugs, couldn't hold a job, and distanced herself from her family.

"I'm sorry, Isabella. I'm not the one who should be telling you this. It happened before I met Kate, of course, so everything I know comes from her and Renee—and Charlie."

They've confirmed this to him?

"You've talked to…" _Mom and Dad_. I press my lips together hard, and I have to swallow my emotions. Then I shake my head because this is unbelievable. Too much.

"The first time I met you," he murmurs, "you were just turning four. It was your birthday party. I was twenty-one and trying to impress my new girlfriend's parents."

A low cry gets stuck in my throat, and I cover my mouth and look out the window. I _remember_. Vaguely, anyway. He'd said "no, thank you" to cake, and I couldn't fathom that. I spent the rest of my party pinching his leg and offering him cake.

"Kate and I were never perfect for one another," he goes on. "There was a sense of 'but this is just how it is' with her. I figured everyone felt that way. In retrospect, I realize how wrong I was." He pauses, hesitating. I wipe at my cheeks. "From that first day I spent in Forks—at your birthday party—there was something I was drawn to. It was why I didn't mind moving there. Chicago hadn't been on my radar since I graduated high school, and Seattle was okay at best. But Forks…there was something there."

Yeah, evidently a pile of horseshit and lies. I whimper and close my eyes, tears falling down.

Edward reaches out and brushes a thumb under my eyes. "It was your family, Isabella. I couldn't befriend Charlie and Renee fast enough. Just being in the same room as them was like breathing mountain air after a lifetime in a polluted city."

I'm suddenly assaulted by childhood memories, all of them featuring my parents. I don't want them tainted; I don't want them to be untrue. I wanna think about Dad and know he might actually be my uncle. My heart breaks at the thought, and I cry into my hands.

"Sweetheart." Edward joins me at my side and hugs me to him.

He's in my memories too. So many of them. He and Kate didn't leave Seattle until I was ten, but they visited frequently. And I do remember he liked to stay a bit longer than Kate did. Whether it was a barbecue or a weekend trip, it was Kate who announced when it was time to leave.

"Your aunt—Irina—committed suicide when you were two days old." Edward presses kisses to my hair as I force myself to listen. In reality, I don't want to hear another word. I don't want it to be real. "Your family didn't know you existed until one of her boyfriends dropped you off."

I shake my head. " _No_." My plea comes out strangled and hoarse, in a voice I don't recognize.

"Charlie was fresh out of the police academy, and Renee hadn't found a job yet, but they didn't care. They were going to raise you as their own, and no one could get in their way."

"I don't want this," I sob.

"They chose you, Isabella," he whispers in my hair. "You can't believe this makes them your parents any less."

I whimper again, and I keep my face covered. Memories bring me back to when I stuttered out I was pregnant. I was fifteen and scared out of my mind, embarrassed and ashamed and clueless.

I remember how Mom cried but immediately jumped into action. Dad was understandably angry, but he rose to the occasion just as quickly. Now I can't help but wonder what motivated them. Were they thinking back on Irina? She'd killed herself.

I remember how fussy my parents were. They barely let me go to the bathroom alone the first few months. Did they worry I was going to choose the same route Irina had?

I remember how they took over to make everything as easy as possible for me. School was never off the table; they didn't allow it. It only got postponed. They talked a lot about what a bright future I'd still have.

And I remember the smiles on their faces after I gave birth to Masen and I declared I'd found the love of my life.

Tears come faster, my breathing becomes choppy and erratic, and Edward holds me tightly, telling me everything whether I want him to or not.

I learn that the rift between Kate and Charlie began when she didn't approve of how I was raised. Since—and it fucking breaks me to think about it—I'm not his and Mom's, biologically, Kate felt she had a say. I didn't do enough sports, I didn't have enough girlfriends, I wasn't social enough… Over the years, the bickering and passive-aggressive comments culminated in a huge fight, and Dad and Kate stopped speaking.

It resulted in Edward spending less time with my parents because he got too much grief for it from Kate when he did.

Memories continue to come at me from every direction. Birthdays, Christmases, vacations… I see Mom's and Dad's faces, and I hear them the first time I asked about the fighting in the family. _"Don't you worry about that, sweetie. It's between the adults."_ But it was all about me, wasn't it?

* * *

-cara


	15. Chapter 14

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

Only a diner is open at five in the morning the day after.

I spot Jasper and Emmett, both looking awful, and join them in their booth. It's a pre-dawn breakfast with sweatpants and sullen expressions. Emotional and physical exhaustion.

I don't look any better. Numb and all cried out, I'd pulled on a pair of jeans, a hoodie, and definitely no makeup. It was Jasper who'd asked me to breakfast with him and Emmett, and I need a breather. Edward's asleep anyway.

A waitress comes over to pour us coffee. "Are you ready to order?"

I'm not hungry, so I go with a side order of toast while the guys order pancakes and bacon.

"So…" It's the first word uttered, and it's Jasper.

I blow out a breath and lean back, sticking my hands in the hoodie's front pocket. It's Edward's.

"Sorry I didn't respond to your text, Bella." Emmett runs a hand over his head and fidgets with a packet of Splenda. "I couldn't deal with anything last night."

I lift a shoulder, understanding. "I'm sorry this happened to you. I wish I'd known. Rose…" I shake my head as remnants of anger resurface. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have…"

That hurts. And I don't know what to do. Rose has been so nice, so _sweet_. More mature than ever, and just…just normal.

Emmett shakes his head. "Don't worry about it, hon."

Of course I'll worry about it.

"What about you?" I nudge Jasper with my elbow. "That was quite the revelation."

He slumps back and rubs his jaw tiredly. "I fucked up."

Emmett eyes him. "What happens now?"

Jasper chuckles humorlessly. "I get divorced, and my parents disown me. I kept my sexuality hidden for a reason."

"I'm sorry." My words are useless, no matter how true they are. Infidelity is inexcusable to me, regardless. What Edward and I did in Seattle, what Jasper and Ben have been doing… They're dick moves. Edward and me more so than Jasper and Ben, in my opinion. They have a lot more to lose, and they were partly pressured into hiding—from their parents, at least. They should've been honest with Alice and Angela.

How Alice chose to reveal everything is another matter… Right now, I can't muster much sympathy for her.

"God, last night _sucked_." I rub my temples, memories from everything going down yesterday haunting me. "First and last reunion for me."

"Amen," Jasper mutters. "I'm glad you were spared yesterday—or somewhat spared."

My turn to chuckle without mirth. "At least until I discovered my parents aren't actually my parents."

"What the fuck?" Emmett frowns.

I wave it off. Bottom line, my childhood was amazing; I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't feel comfortable complaining about the secrecy and betrayal with a man who was sexually assaulted and a man who's felt the need to hide who he is.

"I'll get over it, but yeah. Kate took it upon herself to let me know my dad is actually my uncle, and then Edward told me Charlie and Kate's older sister gave birth to me." Now that I say it out loud, it's bizarre, and I can only shake my head. "Good times."

"Jesus." Jasper shakes his head too. There's very little else we can do. It's all one big clusterfuck. "I don't know what to say."

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to leave Washington behind," Emmett murmurs. "Start fresh somewhere else."

I don't reply, because I can't picture it. The concept of starting fresh seems naïve to me. Wherever we go, we're bringing the past with us.

"I hope you stay," I offer softly. "If there's one thing I learned last night—well, other than…a whole lot—it's that we can pick our friends as well as our family." I peer up at Jasper next to me. "Maybe your parents will be dickheads who won't see you anymore, and I can't imagine that pain. But if there's anything I can help with, I'm here. Same with you, Emmett." I look to Emmett again. "I came back to Forks because this is home. This is where I want to build my life, and building implies creating, right? _I_ choose who to spend my life with. Whether it's Edward by my side, or maybe a future neighbor in either of you. Friends, family—those lines can blur."

 _"They chose you, Isabella."_

 _"They chose you, Isabella."_

I draw a shaky breath as I remember Edward whispering in my hair. Mom and Dad…Renee and Charlie…they chose me. They created a family with me.

The hurt is too fresh to move past, but even I can't ignore logic. Fear holds us back sometimes. We get scared and make things worse. We try to forget, and we don't tell people when we should.

"Well, aren't you a little motivational speaker this morning." Jasper smiles ruefully before turning to Emmett. "She's right, though. I guess…if we surround ourselves with good people, we'll move past this eventually."

Emmett nods pensively. "Maybe. I don't know. I can't see it right now."

No one can fault him for that. Last night, everyone learned about Emmett. And he holds a very official position in Forks. There's going to be reminders everywhere.

"Maybe a break?" I suggest. "All I'm saying is, don't let anyone—or anything—run you out of town. If you move permanently, it'll be because you want it."

Our breakfast arrives, leaving us with a comfortable silence for a few minutes. I think I want to take a break too. Before I face Mom, I want to let the dust settle.

"Why the fuck did she have to say all that in front of everyone?" Emmett grits his teeth, then lets out a sigh. "She only made it worse."

 _Alice_.

"What I don't understand is why she called Rose so often," I say. "She went with us when Rose and I needed clothes for the reunion."

"She was digging for information." Jasper picks at his food. "That's what she does. She probably wanted to get a sense of what Rose is like today."

I push my plate away from me. I don't want to defend Rose—I'm not ready—so I say nothing.

"I thought I was over it," Emmett says quietly. "Then she moved back, and… I don't know."

I take a breath, wanting to say one thing at least. "This doesn't excuse what she did, but for what it's worth, I don't believe she's a person who would tell you to just get over it today. She's…I don't know how to put it, but I think she carries a lot of guilt. Last night, she could've fled the room in a second. Instead, she stood there and took it. Everyone stared at her, and she let them."

Jasper hums. "We always did wonder why she stayed married to that douchebag."

"Royce?" I tilt my head.

He nods. "You know Rose's mom likes to talk." No one in Forks _doesn't_ know that. "Word is, Royce got rough with her."

Guilt would lead her to believe she deserved the treatment. God, that's fucking horrible. And completely the wrong way to seek redemption. The only one she owes penance to is Emmett.

"We were seventeen," Emmett says. "What the fuck am I supposed to do about this now? I don't want her in my life, but she was a kid—"

"Don't do that, hon," I tell him. "I don't care if you were twelve or twenty. Don't minimize what happened." I pause as I take a sip of my coffee. "Have you talked to a professional?"

He shakes his head.

"Maybe you should, man," Jasper murmurs. "After last night, I reckon we all need therapy."

I snort softly.

Outside, the sky is turning a glowing orange.

Emmett's watching the horizon too. "I think I'm gonna go see my cousin in Texas for a while. Dale's always on my case about visiting, and I haven't met his family yet. He just had twin boys."

I think that sounds like a good idea.

"I'll do the counseling too," he adds. "I should've done that years ago."

I'm relieved.

The waitress comes over again. "Refills, anyone?"

"Can I see the menu again, please?" I ask. "I'd like to bring something with me back to the hotel." Edward's going to be awake when I get there. "What about you, Jasper? You wanna bring breakfast to your darling wife?"

"I don't think they serve divorce papers here."

Emmett chuckles, and I muster a small grin.

"Good thing you're a lawyer. Silver lining, right?" Emmett smirks.

Jasper huffs. "I don't practice family law, jackass."

Emmett shrugs.

"Maybe what you should be practicing is music," I note and sip my coffee. "Just sayin'."

Jasper sighs, running a hand through his curly hair. "There's a lot I should be doing."

"Not too late," Emmett points out. "Are you and Ben gonna be official?"

At that, Jasper shifts in his seat, and his expression thaws. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's uncomfortable in a kinda cute way. "Yeah, he said we should finally buy a house together."

"Aww." I cling to that. I need _something_ good to come from the shitshow last night. Maybe it's coming out of the closet. Works for me. "I feel awful for Angela, though."

Jasper winces. "Me too. Fuck. This is gonna blow."

Emmett clears his throat. "That's what he said."

I cover my inappropriate laugh behind a cough.

~oOo~

"I smell coffee, and you were gone," Edward grumbles sleepily.

"Observant man, Mr. Cullen." I sneak under the covers and cuddle up against his warm body. I kiss the spot between his shoulder blades.

"Cold girl, Miss Swan."

Yeah, but my feet like the warmth of his calves plenty.

He yawns and rolls over to gather me close. "Where were you?"

"I had breakfast with Emmett and Jasper." I yawn because his set mine off.

"Oh? How are they doing?"

"At the moment, not very good." I let his comfort wash over me, and I revel in it. "I think they'll be fine, though."

"That's good." He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, then lifts my chin. "I'm more worried about you. How are you feeling?"

The anxiety in my chest makes the answer easy. "Hurt." But seeing him, Edward, and being with him, makes the rest just as simple. "I'll get past it eventually. Mom and Dad were scared, and we're human. We fuck up, right?"

"That we do," he murmurs.

"I think I'll cry about it a lot in the months to come." I feel the need to warn him. The notion that Mom and Dad aren't mine in that sense is going to take time to recover from. It's possible I'm still in shock, I don't know. How does one react to news like this?

"I'll be there every step of the way, baby."

I sigh contentedly and squeeze his middle tightly. "So…since you tease me about the eye mask, can I tease you about joining the Secrets and Wishes tradition?"

He rumbles a sleepy chuckle and squeezes me back. "I was hoping you'd forget that part."

I peer up at him and use his bicep as my pillow.

His gaze softens, and his morning scruff glints in the sun peeking through the blinds. "To be honest, I've joined every year. Not sure why. Sometimes it feels good getting things off my chest."

I hum. It doesn't escape me that the focus last night was solely on secrets, but I'm more interested in Edward's wishes.

"What did you wish for?"

He touches my cheek. "The year you graduated, I wished for the courage you displayed. To go after dreams and goals." He kisses my nose. "Last spring, I wished for another encounter with you."

My eyes flash to his. "Really?"

"Mm."

I smile. "What are you going to wish for next spring?"

His mouth tugs up too. "Not a damn thing, my darling. Wishes won't get me anywhere." Oh. Well, that's a good point, I guess. "I'm done wishing. I'm going to work instead. First of all, I'm going to put in a formal request that we end the Secrets and Wishes tradition at Forks High."

I giggle at that. "Probably a good idea."

"Indeed." He kisses my forehead next. "Then I'm going to spend the rest of my life being the best man and father I can be. I don't want to disappoint myself again."

I quirk a grin. "A man with a plan, huh?"

"A man with a plan," he confirms. "That means complete honesty."

"Thank _God_." I don't think I can handle more secrecy.

~oOo~

One perk of having a boyfriend who's friends with your mother is that he can talk to her on my behalf. I'm not ready yet, and Edward and I want to indulge and spend some more time alone in Port Angeles. So he calls her and asks if it's all right we pick up the boys tonight, and she says it's more than okay.

Then I ask Edward out on the most unsexy date in history.

"Well, when you put it that way, how can I resist?" he drawls.

And we end up shopping for school supplies. School starts Thursday, and Masen and Anthony need stuff.

"We need to figure out how to get home too," I say as we cross the street. Staples is waiting for me, and my Visa is gonna be on fire.

"No need," he replies. "I spoke to Carlisle while you were in the shower, and he wanted to get away from the city for a bit. We'll have dinner with him at seven, then he'll drive us home."

"Okay, cool." I thread our fingers together because now I can. "Where's he going to sleep?"

"Funnily enough, he declined the offer to take my bedroom," he mentions. "I think that means he's sleeping at Renee's."

" _Interesting_." I smirk a little.

We cross the parking lot and enter the store where I move toward the carts.

"We could go with baskets instead," Edward interjects.

"You haven't seen me shop for school supplies before. Trust me, honey, we need a cart."

He frowns, first at our linked hands, then at the carts. "Fine, but I'll drive it. I want to enjoy this." He gives my hand a squeeze.

I smile and reach up to kiss him. "Now who's the adorable one?"

"You." He grabs a cart and drives it with one hand, and he's only mildly annoyed whenever I dart off to get something from the shelves.

I go nuts for pens and take time to pick out two backpacks, but Edward takes the cake when choosing lunch boxes. He stands there hemming and hawing for a solid twenty minutes. In the meantime, I call in sick at the clinic, meaning I'm postponing my clients unless they're urgent.

"You'll have to face Renee at some point, honey."

"I know," I mumble, scrolling through my phone.

"Is there anything other than the fact that they didn't tell you?" he wonders. "It's a big deal, of course. I'm only curious if there's more to it."

"It's just…bizarre." I lean against the cart while he inspects a lunch box with soccer players on it. I love that he's trying to get to know Masen better. "It feels less, almost. Less real."

"That's what I feared." He puts the lunch box back. "Let me ask you this, then. If we—and I hope we do—become a family one day—"

I make a happy, startled noise because I'm a dork.

He kisses my goofy smile.

"Pay attention, little girl," he growls playfully. Um, how can I pay attention when he does _that_? Sexy bastard. "If—hell, _when_ —we become a family, is James Masen's father more than me? Will you be less of a mother to Anthony than Kate?"

I swallow, equally hopeful and sad. I see his point, and I would never rank James higher. He's a lousy excuse for a father, who clearly cares more about a new promotion than checking in with Masen. And Kate…don't get me started. She doesn't give two shits even when they live in the same town.

"You're right," I answer quietly. "It's wrong of me to say my parents are less real because of this."

In the end, I have to ask myself if it matters. Biology doesn't make people parents. It hurt to learn about this, yes, but when I compare it to everything my parents have done for me…?

I release a breath, deflating. It's a matter of accepting and moving on. I'll work on it.

"Tell me your thoughts, sweetheart." He traps me against the cart, gripping the handlebar on each side of me. "I don't like it when you're sad."

I manage a weak smile as I peer up at him. "Just promise me we'll stay honest. I know they'd never do anything to hurt me, but the surprise is a nasty one. I don't want to live through it again—or put someone else through it."

"You have my word," he murmurs. "Full disclosure. If we adopt your nonexistent sibling's child, we'll tell him or her sooner."

"You're not funny." Yet, I'm struggling not to chuckle.

"I'm a little funny." He leans down, our noses touching. "Kidding aside—and in the interest of full disclosure—is it possible to fall in love in a couple months?"

I suck in a breath, my pulse skyrocketing. "Yes," I whisper, sure of it.

He smiles softly and brushes his lips to mine. "I thought so," he whispers back. "I love you so very much, Isabella."

I close my eyes and kiss him deeper, and I repeat his words to me over and over. "I love you too. More than I can describe."

* * *

-cara


	16. Chapter 15

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

If I pretend I'm asleep, Edward won't offer his _advice_. I hear him shuffling around the bedroom after his shower, and I hear his humming as he picks out a shirt to wear. It's one of those little Edward-isms I've grown fond of.

It's a big day. Masen's starting fourth grade, Anthony's a year ahead of his peers and is starting third, and Edward is taking on a new class of high school freshmen. Seeing as he has an early faculty meeting, the plan is for him to drive ahead, and then I'll take the boys to school at eight. The high school is just across the street from where Masen and Anthony will be, so Edward will run over to wish them well on their first day.

He continues his humming while getting dressed, and I crack one eye open to check the time. Yeah, it's gonna be tight, but I can't face another lecture. I know I've avoided Mom for too long now.

Sunday through Tuesday was no issue. I was "sick" and didn't talk to anyone on the phone. Then word of the disastrous reunion reached Mom at work on Wednesday, and Alice's mom told her everything that happened. Naturally, Mom called me the minute she got home yesterday, and it was harder to dodge her call then.

Edward's phone rings, and I'm a little peeved that he answers the call when I'm sleeping. Well, for all he knows.

"Morning, cousin—oh. Hello, Esme."

Oh, joy.

"I'm good, thank you. Why are you calling from Carlisle's phone?" There's a pause. "I see. Yes, I heard he was moving out this week—pardon?" Another pause follows, this one longer. "He told you that, huh?" he chuckles wryly. "Yes, it's true. Isabella and I are together."

This suddenly got interesting.

Carlisle's reaction to finding out we're together was less dramatic. I suspect Edward confided in his cousin earlier and that Carlisle either knows about Seattle, or he was aware of…I don't know, feelings developing. Regardless, he was only happy for us.

Edward sighs and sits on the foot of the bed. "No, Esme, I don't believe she's too young for me."

I smirk into the pillow.

"If we're rushing, that's our concern, yes?" Now he's losing his patience. "If you ask me, I want us to buy a house together yesterday—for goodness' sake, I'm not having this discussion with you, Esme. I have to go to work—" He sighs again. "Goodbye."

He's quiet for a beat, and then I feel the bed shift. He leans back against the mattress and slips a hand under the covers, up the back of my thigh. Farther up, farther up, and he pushes away the covers before the bastard literally bites my ass.

I yelp, and he smacks my butt.

"Call your mother." He leaves the bed, and I scowl at nothing and rub the sting he left behind. "You're a horrible actress, little one."

"Bastard," I groan.

He laughs.

~oOo~

There's something hysterical about watching two boys bicker about the adjustments of backpack straps. Standing in the parking lot at their school, Anthony says it's ludicrous the way Masen wears his pack, and Masen claims Anthony's way is for nerds.

"Your backpack will bounce off your butt," Anthony insists. "The straps are supposed to be tighter. Like this." He shrugs and sticks his thumbs into the straps, his backpack sitting higher on him.

"Like I said. Nerd." Masen rolls his eyes.

"No name-calling," I warn him. Peering across the street, I see Edward coming into view, and he jogs the last distance. Charcoal slacks, light blue button-down, and a tie that matches his pants make for one delicious-looking teacher. Plus, those glasses.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he says as he reaches us. "I was arguing with another teacher." At his pointed look, I know he's talking about Kate. It must've been another one of their delightful phone calls.

They've had the most vicious fights over the phone nearly every day this week. It started on Sunday when Edward yelled at her for letting the box of secrets and wishes fall into the wrong hands. Her roommate was supposed to have given it to the principal, but someone, somewhere down the line, had neglected to acknowledge the friendship between Principal Banner's sister—aka, Kate's roommate—and Alice's _mother_. That's how Alice had learned about the box, which she took so she could make copies of the notes.

One fight had turned into years of resentment boiling over, and there's always something they feel the need to yell at the other. Last night, it was Kate who called because she couldn't believe the "nerve" Edward had to list me as Anthony's emergency contact at school. She said that…from Oregon…kinda far away to be the emergency contact.

"I won't ask," I say with a slight smile.

Edward kisses my temple, then squats down in front of Anthony. "Nervous?"

"Not particularly," Anthony answers. "I've studied my map, so I know where my classroom is."

"I'll walk him to class, Edward," Masen says.

"That's sweet of you, buddy." Edward stands up and gives Masen's shoulder a squeeze. "I have an early day, so your mother and I will pick you two up at three."

Most of the students are walking toward the school, so I slip my hand into Edward's and kiss the boys' foreheads. "Be good, okay?"

"I'm always good." Masen smirks.

"Oh, boy," Anthony mumbles under his breath.

Edward and I stand there and watch the boys head inside together, and the moment is significant to me. It's one of those family things, I guess. Maybe he feels the same, because he hugs me tightly.

"I love you," I murmur.

"I love you too." The corners of his eyes crinkle in that sexy way.

"So…" I rock on the balls of my feet. "Was it just me or did I hear something about buying a house?"

Because I happen to know I only have a six-month lease, and he has a one-year lease. Which expires early next spring.

"It's possible you heard something," he chuckles. "I take it that's not out of the question?"

"Nuh-uh."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"I'm gladder. In fact, we could sit down and talk at length about—"

"Go see your mother, Isabella."

"Dammit."

~oOo~

"Okay, this is justified procrastination," I reason with myself. Upon seeing Angela entering the grocery store, I make a turn and decide I could stock up on cereal at home. Not to mention eggs—actually, I do need to grocery shop. Anthony and Edward have both declared that my apartment is cozier, so that's where we end up staying when someone is spending the night. And they all eat as if they're pregnant.

Grabbing a cart, I walk into the store and keep an eye out for Angela as I shop.

Bread—yes, toast. Bagels for Edward. Sourdough for me, which Edward calls hipster bread.

The only one from school I keep in touch with right now is Jasper, and no one knows less about Angela than him. He and Ben aren't on speaking terms with their wives as they get ready for their divorces.

Emmett has taken time off work and is in Texas now. I'm the mother hen who forced him to agree to weekly texts, though he didn't seem _too_ reluctant to go along with it.

I haven't seen Rose, but I've heard she's staying with a friend in Seattle.

I'm gonna text her soon. I hate what she did, but…I guess I just want her to make amends in the right way. She shouldn't hurt herself for the sake of it. Then she'll never be able to move on.

Down by the produce section, I spot Angela picking out apples. I grab a box of blueberries on the way. No ring on her finger, I note.

"Angela?"

She looks up and offers a tired smile. "Hi, Bella."

"Hey, hon. How are you?"

"Oh, you know…" She lifts a shoulder. "It's hard, but I suppose it needed to happen. I've known far longer than Alice has. I kind of got used to it."

I furrow my brow, concerned. "What do you mean got used it?" No one should have to get used to someone cheating.

"I've known about his sexuality since we started trying for a baby," she explains. "He told me about Jasper, and…I don't know. I guess in the end it didn't hurt as much as the thought of standing on my own two feet. Ben was ashamed and knew coming out wouldn't go well with his mother and siblings, and I wanted to keep what we had. I was fooling myself."

"Hey. Don't be too hard on yourself."

"I know," she sighs softly. "Anyway. Once I get settled in—wherever I'm moving—maybe he and I can be on better terms, but right now I don't want to see any of them. Have you talked to Alice?"

I shake my head. "Doesn't seem like anyone else has either."

"Shocker," she mutters. "I'm staying at my parents' so I don't have to run into her."

Understandable, given that they're neighbors.

"I should go," she says, checking her watch. "Jessica's filling in for her cousin at the post office, and I want to drop off a package before her shift starts. Do yourself a favor and steer clear of pretty much everyone who didn't get smashed to bits in Alice's show. Everyone's gossiping about it."

"Noted." And already on it.

~oOo~

Half an hour later, I've dropped off the groceries at home and made my way to the clinic. Parking right outside, I can see Mom wrapping things up with a patient.

My smile has always been automatic when I see her talking about animals. She's so passionate about our field and cares genuinely about every critter. I remember she cried when I told her I wanted to follow in her footsteps.

She laughs at something the man is saying and brushes back her wavy sidebangs. Then she's nodding and rounding the counter. She walks over to the wall where we keep the drawings kids have given us, and she points at one in particular. She's talking about me, about a dog I once rescued, and it's a story she tells anyone who will listen.

I swallow a rush of emotions.

 _It doesn't matter where I came from._

I leave the car and climb the steps, opening the door to the clinic.

"Bella!" Mom smiles widely. "I was just telling Mr. Carter the story of when you saved Champ."

I smile politely and shake the man's hand. "Next time she tries to tell you the story, remind her you've heard it."

He chuckles, and I reach down to pet his pup. It's a cute little French bulldog.

"Oh, you," Mom says, waving me off.

She and Mr. Carter chat for another minute before he leaves with the promise of picking up the special diet food Mom's ordered for his dog next week. In the meantime, I find myself studying Mom a little closer. As if seeing her in a new light, but I'm not sure I do.

The sense of betrayal is there, but so is a newfound appreciation. Everything they've done for me is based solely on choice. She and Dad didn't have to take me in.

"Long time, no see." Mom narrows her eyes at me, half playful, and flips the sign in the window saying we're on lunch break. "That must've been a dreadful cold you got stuck with."

"Yeah." I force a chuckle.

She sighs and smiles ruefully, but there're traces of worry, too. "You've been avoiding me, Bella, and I think I know why."

Oh, shit.

"Oh?" I fidget with the hems of my hoodie sleeves.

She nods and walks over, her hand squeezing my arm gently. "I admit I was shocked when I heard it, but I never wanted you to feel the need to hide it from me, honey. If you're happy with Edward, that's all that matters to me."

I make a choked squeak, and she hugs me. Edward. She thinks it's because of Edward. Oh God. She could've learned the truth about us a million ways at this point; everyone knows. And that's why she thinks I've avoided her, 'cause I'm in love with her friend.

I return the hug out of reflex, my senses flooding with her familiar perfume.

"I was worried," she admits, not letting me go. "Then I spoke to Edward the other day, and that man adores you. I heard it so clearly."

Letting out a breath, I hug her harder and close my eyes. "I guess I was scared you wouldn't approve."

She chuckles lightly and inches back, and her eyes are glistening. "You're a smart young woman, honey. I trust your decisions. So. No more hiding, okay? I want you to be able to come to me with these things." She touches my cheek. "My daughter's in love."

I grin and choke out a laugh. "What's that, a mother's intuition?"

"That's exactly it." She grins.

I shake my head. "Speaking of hiding, when are you going to tell me about Carlisle?" Oh yeah, she did not see that coming. I snort and throw an arm around her shoulders. "Call it a daughter's intuition, but I know you're banging Edward's cousin."

"Bella!" she chastises.

"Bella," I mimic. "Come on, let's head out for lunch. Your treat."

~oOo~

"So you didn't tell her?" Edward furrows his brows.

"No. I couldn't." I hand him another plate to dry, then start washing the wineglasses. "Chances are she'll find out I know someday, but…I don't know."

"She's your mother," he finishes with a softer expression.

I nod. "She is." In every sense that matters.

He chuckles quietly and returns a stack of plates in a cupboard. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're keeping a secret."

I roll my eyes and grin. "Well, what's Forks without some secrecy?"

"You're asking for trouble, dear." He kisses my cheek. "I'll go check on the boys. It's never good when they're quiet."

Too true.

I finish doing the dishes, then pack away the leftovers so Edward and I can bring that for lunch to work tomorrow.

Later, I find them all in Masen's room, and Edward is helping them with homework. I stay in the doorway, content to just watch. Both boys can share Masen's desk for now, though we'll have to buy a bigger one soon. It'll be another eight months before we move in together, so our best option is to change whatever we can in their separate rooms. Next weekend, we're putting up a bunk bed here, for starters.

"That's great, Masen." Edward leans over him to check his work, nodding thoughtfully. "You could add something about Chance, maybe?"

So serious. It's a short "essay" about how they spent their summer, yet Edward, ever the teacher, is treating it like a dissertation.

"I'm writing about the bear," Anthony says.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that." Masen gets back to jotting down his summer activities.

I smile to myself and give them some privacy, opting to watch TV and enjoy a little peace and quiet before the nighttime routine. Sitting down on the couch in the living room, I let out a sigh of contentment and hope it's okay to find this ridiculous sense of joy from something so domesticated as homework and dishes. It's all Edward and Anthony joining Masen and me that's made the difference.

Edward appears a few minutes later and sits down next to me, and I wordlessly hand him the remote. There's a medical journal I can read while he catches up on the news.

"I love this." I just had to say it.

He drapes an arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head. "If you love it half as much as I do, I can't wait for our leases to be up."

"I may be counting the months," I laugh softly. "I want a big kitchen and a yard where our future dogs can run around."

"That many, huh?"

I nod, nod, nod. "Five."

He barks out a little laugh and shakes his head. "Will you walk them every morning before work?"

"What do you think we have kids for?" I retort jokingly.

He hums instead of finding me funny, and he side-eyes me curiously. "You know, I'm not sure two helpers will be enough for that. Either you have to bribe me with sexual favors to assist in the constant dog-walking, or we make plans for an extra room."

Jesus Christ, this man. I shake my head, amused, anxious in a good way, and head over heels. "Sex will never be a currency in our house, Edward. To be on the safe side…" I clear my throat, oddly nervous even though he's the one who broached the topic. "Maybe an extra room? Maybe."

"Maybe." He smiles slowly and dips down for an unhurried kiss. "Like you said, to be on the safe side. Because we're leaving my library alone."

It's a deal.

* * *

-cara


	17. Epilogue

_Beta'd by HollettLA :)  
_

* * *

 **Secrets & Wishes**

* * *

 _Four years later…_

 ** _Edward Cullen_**

I'd say I'm surprised when I enter Masen's room and find Anthony packing while Mase is throwing clothes on the bed, except there's no surprise about it whatsoever.

"Son, when I told you to pack, I didn't mean tell your brother to pack for you." I fold my arms over my chest and lean against the doorframe, and it's difficult to hide my mirth.

"He wanted to!" Masen widens his eyes. "I started doing it—"

"He doesn't even fold his clothes," Ant replies irritably. "I'm doing Mom a favor if you ask me. Now his outfit for the wedding won't be wrinkled when we get there."

I raise a brow. "Are you sure it's your mother you're talking about and not your OCD?"

Ant waves me off, then picks up Masen's toiletry bag and shakes it. "You have shampoo in here. You were going to pack it without putting it in a plastic bag? What is _wrong_ with you?"

"I give up." Masen throws up his hands before stalking out of his room, and I just manage to move out of his way. "How about you guys just wake me up when we're in Hawaii?"

I chuckle to myself and follow him down the stairs. Once Ant gets started, there's no stopping him. He gets this way every summer when we leave for vacation.

Isabella is actually quite similar when it comes to packing, which is why she's taken care of my bag already. I woke up this morning to find it in the hallway down here, a new luggage tag attached to it and all. There was even a note on how much it weighs.

"When's Mom coming home?" Masen asks as I meet him in the kitchen.

I check my watch and sit down at the kitchen island where my coffee and notepad are waiting for me. "Shouldn't be long now." She's only dropping off the dogs at Renee and Carlisle's. Taking a sip of my coffee, I add another title to my list of books to cram into my carry-on. We're going to be gone for ten days; that's easily eight books.

Masen spreads an armful of food on the island and hip-checks the fridge closed. "I think we need to discuss your obsession with books, Dad. Your bag's gonna weigh a ton."

"Nonsense." In fact, I could sneak a book or two into my wife's bag. She brings a few magazines, a couple about veterinary medicine and one _People_ , and that's it. Plenty of space. "What we should discuss is how to keep your mother and Ant off our backs once we get to the resort."

As we discovered our first trip together as a family, Masen and I prefer to hang around the hotel. I want to read, and Masen wants to stay by the pool or the beach—and probably check out girls. He's at that age now, and it terrifies me. But I'd rather watch over him than go with Isabella and Anthony on another bicycle ride to observe local culture. I know, I'm dreadfully dull, and I couldn't care less. When we were in Rome, I got to see everything I wanted in three days. Isabella required five.

"I thought the wedding was our excuse not to leave the hotel," Masen exclaims.

"You'd think," I mutter. "I've booked us a two-day tour with a guide, but I doubt that's enough for them."

Then we have the rehearsal dinner and the wedding; that's two days. It leaves us with another six, and I can't be so lucky that Isabella suggests romantic dinner dates and lazy pool days.

I suppose after twenty-two years of disappointment, resentment, and unhappiness, it's going to take at least another twenty-two before I'm ready to let Isabella out of my sight without missing her like a lovesick fool. I'm incredibly lucky in the sense that she's similar—very affectionate and sweet, which I can't get enough of. But…she thinks hiking up a mountain is relaxing.

I did find it strange she didn't have flaws before we got married, and that's what I get. An outdoorsy hiker.

"You know what we should do?" Masen looks hopeful. "We can convert Claire—bring her to our side. Then it's three against two."

That's a brilliant idea. "She _is_ a Daddy's girl," I agree. Well, she's a Daddy's girl until I try to cook for us. Then suddenly Daddy's the worst person in the world.

Charcoal is an acceptable spice.

"What're we waiting for? Where is she?" he asks.

I nod in the general direction of Emmett's house next door. "She's playing with Bree."

"Okay, I'll go get her." Masen leaves the kitchen, on a mission.

I laugh under my breath.

He's going to need to be convincing in order to peel Claire and Bree apart. Both three years old, or almost, and both into the same LEGOs and cartoons. I admit it was a relief when Emmett moved back from Texas last year. He had a girlfriend and a daughter with him, and it's nice to have a next-door neighbor who appreciates date nights as much as we do. Some weekends, we have the girls, and some weekends, they have them.

I've finished my list and grabbed my books from the library by the time Masen comes back with his sister under his arm. At least she's giggling. That's a good sign.

"Hiiiii, Daddy."

"Hello, angel." I cock my head and grin at her. "You're almost upside down, aren't you?"

"Yeah, lemme down, Mase!" she demands.

She looks so much like her mother that she sometimes makes my breath hitch.

I squat down as she barrels toward me, and I chuckle when she squishes my cheeks together.

"Hi," she repeats.

"Hi." I kiss her nose. "Your brother and I were talking about our trip. Wouldn't it be fun if we stayed by the pool almost _every_ day?"

Her eyes light up. " _Yes_."

That's a good start.

~oOo~

We spend the following night in Seattle so we don't have to stress ourselves to get to the airport on Thursday. The boys and I take care of the luggage until we've checked every bag, and then I welcome a fussy Claire into my arms on the way through security.

"Mom, I'm hungry," Masen says.

"We're going to eat before we board, don't worry," Isabella replies.

We find a burger place and order for a small army before we locate a table with a view of the planes. Ant's more interested in jotting down airplane models into his notebook, so we have to remind him to eat.

"Here, Ant." Claire holds up a French fry drenched in ketchup for him.

I grin, finding her too cute for words.

"Thanks, sis." Ant takes it absently.

"You want to sit with me for a while so Daddy can eat?" Isabella asks Claire.

"Yeah, okay." She bounces over to her mother, only to start munching on Isabella's fries.

I chuckle and bite into my burger.

"Oh, you'll never believe who decided to come to the wedding last minute." Looks like my wife has gossip. "Angela."

That _is_ a surprise. She's on speaking terms with Ben and Jasper, but calling them friends would be a stretch.

"Maybe it's easier now that she's in a better place," I say. I admire Angela for starting over. It's never easy, but she went to school, got an associate's, and now she's dating a former classmate—Eric. "As long as you-know-who isn't showing up, it'll be fine."

We don't need more of Alice's drama, in my opinion. Since breaking the habits of my old, miserable life, I've gained more friends my age. Alec and I go fly-fishing and attend book fairs every now and then, but this wedding will be mostly guests Isabella went to school with. It automatically puts me in the role of _old teacher_ , and whether I want to or not, I feel more responsible. So, the less drama, the better.

I had sympathy for Alice even after the reunion that went awry, but no more. She's become flaky and aggressive. Every so often, she'll call Jasper to say he's ruined her life, and then she books a ticket to a fashion capital, claiming she's finally going to become a designer. Eventually, she runs out of money and returns to Forks, and it's caused her relationship with her daughter to deteriorate.

I cannot respect a person who won't put their children first. It goes against everything I believe in where parenting is concerned.

"Let me take her, darling," I say and wipe my mouth with a napkin. "You wanted to go browse for magazines."

"Are you sure?" Isabella peppers Claire's face with kisses before returning her to me and leaving her seat. "Okay, I'll be right back. Is there anything you guys need?" I open my mouth to— "Not you, Edward. I love you with all my heart, but you don't need another book."

"Did you try lifting his bag?" Masen snickers. "I think he packed bricks."

"I'm feeling the love," I deadpan.

"I love Mommy," Claire sings.

"What about _me_?" I tickle her. "It's me they're bullying."

"You poor thing." Isabella dips down and kisses me quickly. "I'm pretty sure you can find books in Hawaii if you run out. I'll be back in five."

"Mom, can you buy snacks for when my ears pop, please?" Ant hollers.

"Sure thing, honey."

~oOo~

"These are your seats, boys." I move out the way so they can pass me. "You can fight over the window seat."

"The middle child takes the middle," Ant says. "He drools in his sleep, so I thought I'd spare whoever ends up in the aisle."

"That's quite the sacrifice, son." I shake my head, amused.

Masen frowns, getting settled by the window. "I don't drool."

"How would you know?" Ant retorts.

While they bicker, I stow away their carry-ons in the overhead compartments, and then I take the aisle seat in the row in front of the boys.

Isabella's just getting buckled in next to me after helping Claire with her seatbelt and preparing her coloring book and crayons.

"Can I use the table?" Claire asks.

"When we're in the air, baby." Isabella combs back Claire's soft, dark curls, the sight making me smile. Our daughter distracts herself easily enough with the coloring book in her lap, and Isabella gets comfortable. "Do you have the gum?"

I nod and retrieve the pack from my pocket. We do the chewing gum game at takeoff with Claire so her ears don't pop as badly and her screams don't make people hate us. It's pretty effective.

"Did I tell you about Rose, by the way?" she asks.

"No?" I furrow my brow. It's been a while since I heard her name.

"I ran into her mom at the store, and she's moving home again," she reveals. Rose left Forks after the reunion, which was understandable. She's been back in Seattle, if I'm not mistaken. "And get this. She's working as a health coach now, whatever that is."

I chuckle. "You're enjoying the gossip, aren't you?"

She groans. "I can't help it. I get sucked in sometimes."

I weave our fingers together and kiss the top of her hand. "Do you think you'll be close with her again?"

I remember the girls spoke over the phone on and off for a few months before they eventually drifted. As Isabella grew closer to Emmett, she struggled with loyalty and guilt, second chances, and forgiveness.

"Maybe." She sighs softly and rests her head on my shoulder. "I do miss her, but I'm still torn. Then again, Emmett's happy, and he's moved on. It's time to see Rose for who she is and not what she did—fifteen years ago, almost. I think. What do you think?"

"I think too, on occasion."

She huffs, and I catch her playful shove and kiss her knuckles again.

"Such a violent little girl," I murmur.

"Don't give me the dirty teacher voice. We're on a plane."

I let out a laugh. "Fair enough."

"Dad, Anthony's being a pain," Masen complains.

"Stop being a pain, Ant," I answer automatically.

Isabella smirks at me. "You don't do your homework before scolding the kids?"

"I'm a teacher, my dear. I give homework. I don't do it."

She snorts and returns to using me as a pillow.

When the plane starts taxiing out toward the runway, we put our focus on Claire, and we're the silly parents who chew gum really loudly during takeoff. Making it a game is the only way it works for our girl, not to mention it makes it easier for us to ensure the little brat doesn't swallow the pink bubblegum.

At the same time, Anthony is chewing Twizzlers for all he's worth.

"You okay, buddy?" I peer over the headrest.

He nods. "To be honest, I'm exaggerating the pain a little. It was worse when I was younger, but I really love Twizzlers."

As if his mother and I don't know that.

"Mom, don't forget the thing I overheard," he tells Isabella.

"Oh! Right." Isabella straightens and offers me a sly look. "Time to put Mase and Edward in their place."

I frown. "Pardon?"

My wife goes into lecture mode with a dramatic flair, which amuses the boys. "Well, here's the thing. We've been invited to Jasper and Ben's wedding, and how do you respond to that? By using our daughter against Anthony and me…and for what? So you can lie in a chair with a book all day? I think not, dear husband. Watch this." She sniffs and shifts in her seat, turning her attention to Claire. "Baby, what do you think about going bicycling in Hawaii and seeing some supercool things?"

I grimace as Claire's eyes light up.

"Yes!"

Isabella turns back to me with a brow lifted. It's admittedly sexy as fuck, and I can't wait to put her in _her_ place. In the bedroom.

"Edward, anything you say in an upbeat voice will get her stamp of approval."

"Oh, all right," I concede with a sigh. "I hear you. Loud and clear."

Next time, I'll simply corrupt and convert Claire in a more efficient way.

"Good." She smiles in triumph and hauls out a magazine before getting comfortable once more. "Bicycle tour, it is."

We'll see about that.

I have one more ace up my sleeve, involving orgasms and handcuffs.

But that's a secret for now.

 **The End**

* * *

-cara


End file.
